Fidelity

My experiment was a simple one...Article by Angela Lutin

As a writer and advice columnist writing about sex and relationships, I have become a confessional of sorts for those wanting to tell me the inner workings of their romantic endeavors. I have spent hundreds of hours interviewing and listening to men and women in a quest to determine what makes one relationship fail while another flourishes.

Everyday we are bombarded with stories of spouses that look for sexual satisfaction elsewhere. In a world where instant gratification is the only thing we've become accustomed to having, it is easier than ever for married men looking to cheat to find a way to break the fidelity bonds. I've been told those stories. The businessman that keeps an apartment for his girlfriend, or the seemingly content spouse that uses anonymous websites to find strangers to meet for an afternoon hotel tryst, and the hard working executive family man letting off steam on a "guys" trip only to visit a hotel suite filled with young women who are half his unsuspecting wife's age. Those stories are commonplace.

But what about the lives of those who remain faithfully monogamous, where monogamy has become the exception rather than the rule? I wanted to hear how they make it work. And so I sat down with three married, monogamous men to find out how they have kept vows they made many years before and what makes them different. They have allowed me to share their stories.

Angela Lutin: Why do you think married men cheat on their spouses?

Married Man 1: It's a grass is greener thing. Sure, we all go through it sometimes thinking our lives are routine and maybe momentarily think "what if" but I've never once been tempted by something strong enough that would ever break my loyalty to my wife.

Married Man 2: It's not just to your wife, it's loyalty to my family. I look at my life like this: My kids come first, then my wife, and then me. If I do something to disrespect my kids and my wife, only to satisfy myself, then the order is wrong.

AL: So are you tempted by other women?

Married Man 3: Every single day. Who isn't? (MM1 & MM2 reluctantly nod in silence)

AL: Do you think monogamy goes against inherent male traits?

MM1: Yeah, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

AL: Do you think your wives get tempted as well?

MM2: I don't think my wife runs into situations like that.

MM3: My wife is hot. I'm sure guys hit on her all the time. I just don't want to know about it.

AL: Obviously, the role of making a home for the family is sometimes underrated. Do you think because your wives being content in this role has something to do with why your marriages are successful? 

MM2: I come from a very traditional background. My parents have been married over 40 years. I learned from them that the order of importance is: my kids, my wife, and then me. No matter what. That is really what makes my marriage successful. That loyalty to them comes above anything else.

MM3: I think I can speak for all of us and say that we give our wives a very long leash. They go out, they go away for girls' weekends and there is trust. They give us the same. I wouldn't want a relationship where my wife told me I couldn't play golf on a Sunday or play in a softball league every week. When you start putting too many restrictions on your partner, that's when someone looks for a way to rebel.

AL: What are the biggest misconception about men and marriage that you'd like to clear up?

MM3: It's much more important to me that she orgasms during sex. I think women believe all we care about is getting ourselves off, but in reality, I don't feel like a man unless I've satisfied my woman.

MM1: People who are having sex don't get divorced. It's that simple.

MM2: No marriage is perfect. It takes work. You don't give up on your family for sex. Ever.

Four Signs of Bi-Polar Disorder

Fewer than half of Americans with bipolar disorder are properly diagnosed and treated, recent research shows. Could you spot bipolar symptoms – in yourself or in someone close to you?

Many people with bipolar disorder don’t even know they have it.
Fewer than half of people in the United States who show classic signs of bipolar disorder actually get diagnosed and treated, says a recent Archives of General Psychiatry report on a survey of more than 61,000 adults in 11 countries — the United States, Mexico, China, Japan, Brazil, Colombia, India, Lebanon, Bulgaria, Romania, and New Zealand. Bipolar patients in lower-income nations get even less treatment — in some cases, as few as 25 percent receive help.

 

Compared to the other 10 countries studied, the United States had the highest rate of bipolar disorder (4.4 percent of those surveyed fell somewhere on the bipolar spectrum). India had the lowest (0.1 percent). Overall, about 2.4 percent of those interviewed in the face-to-face survey could be classified as having bipolar disorder.
Bipolar Disorder’s Most Surprising Symptoms
It may be buzz-worthy these days, but many people don’t fully understand bipolar disorder and the symptoms that can lead to proper diagnosis and treatment. Bipolar, also sometimes called manic-depressive disorder, is characterized by shifts from extreme highs (known as mania) to emotional lows (depression), with “normal” moods in between.
It’s bipolar disorder’s manic phase that most sets it apart from other common mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. While many people associate mania with high energy and exaggeratedly good moods, these other key symptoms are more subtle:

• Reckless spending . If a friend is blowing her paycheck on shopping sprees she can’t afford, watch out. A person in a manic phase of bipolar disorder is more likely to take big risks, including spending splurges that can lead to mountains of unmanageable debt.
• Super-charged sex drive . A sudden revving up of a person's sex drive, obsessively thinking or talking about sex, or engaging in sexual encounters he otherwise wouldn’t (like a one-night stand or sex with someone he doesn't know well) are all symptoms of hypersexuality, another less-obvious mania clue.
• Alcohol or drug abuse. These often go hand-in-hand with manic episodes: As many as 60 percent of people with bipolar disorder have abused alcohol or drugs at some point in their lives. Depressants such as alcohol or pain pills can send a person with mania straight into depression, while stimulants like cocaine can have the opposite effect.
• Skimping on shut-eye. Little need for sleep is another red flag that a person may be having a manic episode.

Read about other common bipolar symptoms, including those related to depressive episodes.

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Related: What Not to Say to Someone With Bipolar Disorder

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Keep in mind that bipolar disorder can vary greatly in severity, and not everyone experiences every symptom. In fact, some patients experience hypomania, a less mild form of mania. But even hypomania, if left untreated, could spin into depression or develop into full-blown mania.
One important takeaway from the Archives study is that across all countries, patients with bipolar disorder faced challenges in their daily lives and were at increased risk of such health problems as panic attacks, substance abuse, and suicide. Untreated bipolar disorder can also lead to troubled relationships with friends and family and problems at work. If you’re concerned about yourself or a friend or loved one, get more information here on the best treatments for bipolar disorder.


Article by
Katie Kerns

Eyes

You are the Dream..in the light
The Sparkle in the Sky

You lull sailors,
and Soothe Volcanoes

You are the hopes
and all
The dreams

Where

I refuse to live anywhere other then New Yawk (as we say)!  I really can't see myself anywhere else.
There is this level of comfort that comes with being surrounded by such obnoxiousness...and there is this part of me, that loves to smack the sense back into the obnoxious.
Light the path, shall we say, for those lacking insight and depth?
Smoothing out the meaness..
Bridging the world of vanilla and prejudice...?
Wake the dead...
I say, spread the truth...and hold no Credibilities prisoner.  No facts unturned...
It said that
Ignorance is bliss...
I say it's the falsehood that lies create
And stagnancy thrives on...

Take a look!!

During the Night from August 12 to the 13,
People on Earth
Have the opportunity
To Witness
One of the Rarest
Meteor Showers seen through Human Eyes...
During the Night,
Thousands of these falling starts
Can be seen..all the way, up until August 23rd.
But...ideal visibility will be during the night of August 12th....
There is a predicted number of about 100 meteors an hour..

Mermaid or Whale?

Found this one Facebook... are you a mermaid or a whale?

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

For the record, I'm not putting down thin people, just saying that being large doesn't equate to being unattractive... and that the pressure to be thin at all costs is not right.

Second Chances...

Five decades after they divorced, Lena Henderson and Roland Davis said "I do" again -- to each other.

The Seneca, New York pair married as teenagers and were together for 20 years before they divorced in 1964 after four children together. One of those children -- their oldest daughter, Johnnie Mae Funderbirk -- is a big reason they're back together, reports Buffalo News.

Funderbirk encouraged her father to move from Colorado back to New York after his second wife died a few months ago, where she hoped he would reconnect with her mother.

The couple never lost touch during their nearly 50 years apart, frequently talking on the phone (Henderson had even counseled Davis' then-new wife on how to deal with him). Davis popped the question -- again -- to Henderson over the phone after deciding to move back to New York. She said "yes," and he soon flew to Buffalo with the engagement ring pinned to his shirt out of fear of losing it during the flight.

Davis and Henderson will tie the knot again on Saturday August 4th at a church in Seneca. However, the jury is still out on whether or not remarrying an spouse is a good idea. Click through the slideshow below to see what the Twitterverse has to say about "I do" redos.