Arthur Pinajian

BELLPORT, N.Y. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Works by an obscure Armenian-American abstract impressionist discovered in a Long Island garage have been appraised at $30 million.

Thomas Schultz discovered thousands of paintings, drawings and journals by Arthur Pinajian after he bought a cottage in Bellport in 2007.

“The smallest house in Bellport Village and maybe one of the most important, most significant art finds in art history is an interesting paradox,” Schultz said. ”It’s my understanding that if the works were sold in the retail market it can fetch up to $30 million in retail prices, but that could take 20, 30 years to do.”

Schultz said he was told by members of the Pinajian family who owned the home to just throw the artwork away.

play

• Art Found In Long Island Garage Appraised At $30 Million
• WCBS 880's Sophia Hall Reports

“What do you do with 70,000 pieces of art? Logistically, it’s very complicated to store, it’s heavy, it requires a lot of energy to move it and they were just not interested in doing that,” Schultz said. “We had directions from the owner of the house to please just empty the contents of the garage into the Dumpster that was already parked outside.”

WEB EXTRA: View Gallery Of Artwork Found In Schultz’s Home

Schultz told WCBS 880′s Sophia Hall that after coming across the vast pile of artwork he gave it a quick inspection and realized it was all created by one artist.

“Pinajian was the name that appeared on most of the canvasses,” Schultz said, adding that he quickly decided not toss out the collection. “I didn’t want to be the person responsible for throwing a man’s life’s work into a Dumpst

Some of the artwork by Arthur Pinajian that Bellport homeowner Thomas Schultz found in his garage (credit: Thomas Schultz)

Some of the pieces have already sold for $500,000 and 50 of the artist’s landscapes are currently on exhibit at the Fuller Building in Manhattan.

“It was important that this collection and this artist gets the recognition that he deserves,” Schultz said. “It is an exciting journey to go from what we call the exhumation of the collection — from the dirt floor of the garage to exhibition.”

Schultz said Pinajian longed for his work to be displayed in the Fuller Building.

“The artist was in the Fuller Building in the 1950s when he was visiting an exhibition of [Willem] de Kooning’s works,” Schultz said. “He talked about how he thought his works were better than de Kooning.”

A recently published book by art historian William Innes Homer calls Pinajian’s abstractions among the best of his era.

Painting by Arthur Pinajian that Bellport homeowner Thomas Schultz found in his  garage (credit: Thomas Schultz)

Pinajian started his career as a comic book illustrator for Marvel in the 1930s. He died in 1999 at age 85.

(TM and © Copyright 2013 CBS Radio Inc. and its relevant subsidiaries. CBS RADIO and EYE Logo TM and Copyright 2013 CBS Broadcasting Inc. Used under license. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.)

Gillette Castle

http://www.ctrivervalley.com/4-Connecticut-CT-in-of/Major-attractions-in-CT/gillette_castle_state_park/

Dating Tips from an Expert

Today is my last day as a writer for HowAboutWe. Since starting in 2010, I’ve written 1344 dating blog posts, not including this one, which I wrote for Guest of a Guest the day I first heard of the site.

In 1344 posts (and a book) I’ve said more than I ever thought I would have to say about dating. But, shockingly, there are still a few odds and ends left unsaid! Or at least worth repeating.


You Can’t Let the Statistics Freak You Out

Oh, it’s a terrible time to be a dater, haven’t you read? Especially if you’re a woman, or a millennial. Women outnumber men in all the major cities. Men have no interest in relationships, lesbians have nowhere to meet each other, gay men are burning out on Grindr. Entire generations, having discovered that monogamy is a construct, that we were not born this way, have eschewed love for meaningless sex. Everyone is destined to remain unhappy and alone — you, especially.

Except, despite the media’s best efforts to present a doomsday narrative of love, people around me seem to be coupling up at an alarming rate. If you ever get discouraged about your dating prospects, just think of all the couples that exist now, in 2013, that didn’t exist before.

No matter what happens in the world, people will continue to fall dopily, sappily in love, people will continue to find one person they want to spend time with above all others, people will continue to not just have sex, but hold hands and show up to parties together and go to brunch on Sunday mornings. Dating isn’t sock hops and dance cards anymore, but it’s a long way from dead.

By the way, the couple from this date? Is still dating. And if you ever need to reaffirm your faith in love, look to this couple. Or these photos. Or this essay.

Don’t Wait to be Picked, Do the Picking

The happiest daters are the ones who feel like they have control over their dating lives, who participate actively in dating rather than just letting to be something that does or doesn’t happen to them. They’re the ones who are dating online, flirting in bars, going to parties and concerts, joining groups, and taking active steps to accommodate romance in their life.

The unhappiest daters are the ones who feel totally hopeless — but who are actually doing very little get a date because, subconsciously, they still believe that a boyfriend or girlfriend is someone who finds you. It’s not true anymore! Only if you’re very very lucky, but why gamble?

Easy ways to take charge of your dating life: ask people out. Make an effort to make to friends — even platonic ones! Force yourself to talk to strangers, to try new things. Give people a chance. See your dating life as an open slate, not a closed door. Do the picking.

On Online Dating

People ask me all the time, “Do I really have to date online?” If you’re serious about finding a relationship, then, yes, quite frankly. Online dating doesn’t mean you stop meeting people in real life. It just means you have options.

GChat, Texting, Sexting, Snapchatting…

I don’t think technology is making people worse at dating. I think, in fact, it makes it easier for shy people to flirt! The only danger is becoming someone who can only flirt and communicate well through a computer, and never in real life, when it counts. Technology can be the ice breaker, but face to face is what really matters, where dating is concerned.



But definitely turn off “auto-preview” of your text messages.

And definitely double-check before sending anything.

For the record:

I still believe that texting is better than calling, that you should go on a date with anyone who asks you, and that GChat is the worst thing you can do in the early stages of a relationship.

But I’ve changed my mind regarding men using exclamation marks,  IKEA as a possible date spot, the acceptability of picking someone up at the gym.

Here Is The Best Worst Date Story I Heard

A girl who’s date messaged his ex, while on the date. From her Facebook account.

Here Is The Best Sex Disaster Story I Heard

First time hooking up. Lights are off. In the middle of…things…he discovers he has a nosebleed. They turn on the lights, and discover the blood is all. Over. Her. Face.

“The blood was even in my eyes. And when he looked at me, mortified, he had tissues stuffed in both nostrils. I thought he was going to cry.” (Direct quote.) (Her eyes!)

Shocking and gross, but I actually love this story, because of the way the girl in question managed to swallow her visceral disgust in order to assure the guy — who was mortified — that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Crazy things happen during sex and the best sex partners are the ones who know how to just roll with it.



Most Popular Thing to Say While on a Date With a Dating Blogger

“So, are you going to write about this?”

The Best/Easiest Way to Get Things Started

“It’s getting late. I think we should start making out now.”



Millennials are a Completely Lovestruck Generation

The idea that millennials aren’t romantic is so short-sighted. People today are truly as sappy and sentimental as any other generation that’s preceded us, it’s just that romance looks a little different these days.

Here’s how millennials express love:

• In tweets and Facebook likes.
In post-date texts to see if you got home okay.
• In staying at work twenty minutes later than necessary because you’re having a great GChat conversation and you’re not going to end it just yet, just because the workday is over.
• In transparently casual, “Yo, you around?” texts, and the heart-stopping, stomach flip-flop upon receiving “Cool, be there in 20″ back.
• In telephone calls. Because who uses the phone anymore? Only the truly in love.
•In books read, music listened to, old seasons of The Wire watched simply because someone you went on a date with emphatically promised that, “Oh my god, it’s so good, no really, you have to watch, you’d love it.”
• In DVR’d episodes of Breaking Bad and self-imposed Twitter moratoriums, because you won’t, you promised, watch it until you can watch it together.
• In the twenty revisions and edits it takes to write a line of text to invite someone out.
• In sex that’s casual, commitment free, but not meaningless.
• In Hannah Horvath’s deep dysfunctionality, as penned by Lena Dunham, who’s instagram boasts pictures of her boyfriend and dog.
• In ordering in 90% of meals but making pancakes for breakfast.

I feel really lucky to have had the opportunity to explore — in such depth! — this fun and awkward and fascinating and human topic over the past few years. Thank you so much for reading, and for sharing your thoughts and stories with me!

It has been such a pleasure.

Happy dating!




Article by Chiara Atik
"Lessons From a Retiring Dating Writer: A Final Good Bye Post"

We will all miss you Chiara!

The 8 Stages of being the Only Single Friend

OSF, it has quite a feel to it....

Stage 1: Your Last Single Friend Starts Seeing Someone.

Maybe you just assumed she would be your solidarity sister forever, or you always thought you and him would eventually end up together. But it’s happened, and now you have to wonder: Am I going to be alone forever?

[Source]

Stage 2: Accepting Your Third Wheel Status.

At least when you hang out with them they can keep their hands to themselves — Oh god, wait. No. What are they doing? GROSS.

[Source]

Stage 3: Realizing Your Friends’ SOs Are Now Your Friends, Too.

I love these guys. Maybe we can all be a throuple?

[Source]

Stage 4: Forcing Your Friends’ SOs to Set You Up With Their Friends.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Am I right?

[Source]

Stage 5: Basking in the Fact That You Have A Permanent Wing Man/Woman.

You and your friend won’t be going for the same guy because she’s already got one. Provided her SO isn’t getting all her attention, and the target doesn’t think your friend is way hotter. Always a risk, ladies and gents. Always a risk.

[Source]

Stage 6: Wondering if You Should Just Accept Your Single-Forever Status And Get Some Cats.

Life could be nothing but a parade of soft, furry, adorable madness. Sounds pretty satisfying, actually.

[Source]

Stage 7: You See Your Couple Friends Fighting And You’re Happy You Don’t Have To Deal With That.

I’ll just be at home stroking my cats, eating ice cream straight from the tub and binge-watching “Orange is the New Black” while you guys argue over whether or not you go out enough…

[Source]

Stage 8: But Then You See How Happy They Make Each Other and You Know Your Search Isn’t Over.

One day you too will find someone with whom you want to do everything, like banning together to shoot your sad singles friends with Nerf guns. You know, just normal fun couple stuff.

Article by Marla Patcher

DTR?

Aaron and Josh are two guy friends who have a podcast in which they try to answer questions about dating, romance, relationships, sex, and the vagueries of human interaction. (“If you’re not a straight cismale, then we (may) have the answers you’re searching for.”) They’ll be writing a weekly post on The Date Report expanding on some of the topics covered in their weekly podcast. 


On this week’s podcast we fielded a question on how to stop a guy from “playing games” when all you want is a “booty call that’s reliable.” I think we all shared a nod on that one. What else could you want? The booty call (or “friends with benefits” if you prefer, although I generally just say “friend”– “fuckbuddy” is not a phrase I’m prepared to support) arrangement can be very fulfilling, but is also ever-shifting, fragile, and by temporary almost by definition. That said, it’s a relationship that requires thought and effort just like any other. Allow me to offer some tips on how to be the best booty call you can be.

1. Be reliable

This doesn’t mean you have to answer that 3AM “wht sup” text when you’d been in PJs since 8:57. All this means is that you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. When you get that “are you free tonight” gchat, don’t cagily not respond or, worse, lie– if you’re not free, just say you’re not free. If you are free, but don’t want to hang out, say that. If you say that you’re going to hang out with someone tomorrow, don’t pull the plug at the last minute. You know how you have that one friend who everyone just sort of accepts can’t be depended on? Just don’t be that guy, especially with someone who seems to have a vested interest in fucking you. It’s not good form. And whenever sex is involved, weird behavior like this tends to get blown out of proportion.

2. Be receptive to change

The booty call is pretty much defined by its lack of definition, so it behooves you not to get too hung up on the little things. Listen: you’re both along for the ride. If you end up spending a whole weekend together, it doesn’t mean he’s falling in love, and if you don’t see each other for three weeks, it doesn’t mean she hates you. The beauty of the booty call is that it’s a relationship that includes sex and companionship but that you don’t have to prioritize over everything else. With this privilege, though, comes the understanding that any meeting could just, for whatever reason, be the last one– you met someone, you got busy (not in the good way), etc. Cultivate a zen-like appreciation of the present moment.

3. Be honest (mostly with yourself)

It is not wrong or illegal to catch feelings. I repeat: it is not wrong or illegal to catch feelings. You are not a weak person, or an uncool person, or whatever because you started to think very highly of someone that you get along with and fuck, like, biweekly at least. But if the way you feel might cause a disagreement on what the relationship should look like, it’s up to you to initiate that conversation. Just as it’s completely cool for you to feel a certain way about someone, it’s also completely cool for that person to feel differently about you, and you know that. A booty call isn’t a starter-level monogamous relationship, it’s its own unique and beautiful butterfly, and expecting to be “upgraded” eventually is kind of like playing Triple-A baseball because you know you’ll eventually get called up to the NFL.

4. Be a good friend

If your only common interest is sex, things will get very boring fast. The personality traits that make for good friends also make for good sexual partners– the desire to explore shared interests, good communication about wants and needs, a willingness to do a trustfall into something they like but you don’t think you’ll like, etc. Plus, you gotta have brunch/couch conversation. Fucking boring people gets boring quick, but a good booty call will remain a friendship even if the booty fades away.

How to Be The Best Booty Call You Can Be
by Aaron Horton

"It's Not You, It's ME"

I bet that's exactly how they feel!

I’ve always been big on romantic fantasy.

I’m not just talking about daydreams of passionate encounters. I’m talking about whole relationships I construct in my head. Maybe with someone I see on the subway, or with the friend of a friend whose name I can’t remember ten minutes after I meet him. It doesn’t take much. I’m shaking his hand and already I can tell you about the apartments we’ll share, and the breakfasts we’ll eat on patios, and the walks and arguments and jokes and boredom and secrets. I can tell you how our blankets will smell.

You can tell a lot about my mental state from the kinds of fantasies I’m having. And that’s because I’m not sure these fantasies have much to do with other people. Generally, the romantic partners are props. Set dressing. Generic background for a process of working out my relationship with myself. That may sound depressing: after all, shouldn’t we be dreaming about profound connections with full-blooded human beings? That my fantasies have so little to do with real people is a good thing, though, I think. If they don’t harden into too serious a fixation, elaborate romantic fictions can be a nice complement to the negotiations and uncertainties that exist between real partners. If we’re silly enough in our imaginative lives, we’re open; and not just to daydreams—to other people, too.

When I say that my fantasies can be a way of working out my relationship with myself, I mean that they can provide clues to what I feel, deep down, I’m missing. Sometimes they’re an expression of discontent; other times they’re an exploration of possibility.

Here’s an example of a discontent-based fantasy. A few years ago, I might have gone crazy dreaming about someone who looks like this. Oh boy. The life I’d have with him. I’d work less. I’d dress well. I’d sleep late and pad down to breakfast with a dozy smile on my face. I’d spend afternoons idling in a café with a newspaper and an espresso. We’d spend our evenings jetting from one glamorous party to another. Speeding along a mountain road in the backseat of a car, talking about art and cities in Europe and sex.

I’d say it’s a fantasy born in discontent because it describes a life that has nothing to do with the life I’m living now. I’m a different me. I’m pretty, well-dressed, suave… I go to lots of parties, and start conversations with wit and finesse. I don’t stand in corners and pretend to do things on my flip-phone. I don’t wear what I’ve worn all this summer: cut-offs with a hole in the crotch. There’s crankiness there. A sour dissatisfaction with my life as it is. It’s easy for such a fantasy to tip into over-serious longing, and from there into frustration.


Skip ahead to the last year or so, to a fantasy that feels more like a cheery dip into the Wouldn’t-It-Be-Nice River. I go to a movie starring this guy, and during the credits I’m already dreaming of a shared life unfolding, me and Gael. This time, though, it’s less extravagant. Less like a piece of clothing I’d never get the courage to wear. It’s… comfortable. I get up early every morning and go for a walk. The sun’s just burning the mist off the lake. I return with a handful of wildflowers for the kitchen table, then settle down to write. The kids play with yarn and wooden toys on the rug. Two big dogs are sleeping in the corner. Nights, Gael and I cook together, and then, under a bright wool blanket, on our screened-in porch, we listen to the crickets and watch the stars.

There’s a difference, right? The self I see living with Gael isn’t far off from the self I live with every day. The circumstances are a bit preposterously nice, Gael García Bernal is still Gael García Bernal (which is to say, unattainable), and there’s a little magicking away of rent-money realities. But all in all, the universe just conspires to let me live a calm, settled life, doing what I know I already love to do. In the Fu’ad fantasy, I’ve reworked my whole persona in specific ways. In the Gael fantasy, I could be exactly who I am now – or not. But I certainly haven’t registered a list of desired modifications. I’m just savoring a slightly decadent “what if…?” and speculating about what kind of life, what kind of self, might follow.

But what happens when we wake up to our real lives, and find ourselves with a real person as a partner? You could argue that a habit of living in elaborate fantasies gets in the way of meaningful interpersonal connections. A lover isn’t a sofa you pick out to match the carpet. A real lover is a person, with his own habits, and discontents, and private pleasures. We can’t succumb to the temptation to convince ourselves that our partner is a known quantity, changeless and predictable. One writer who strikes me as wise has said that “People become real to us by frustrating us; if they don’t frustrate us they are merely figures of fantasy.”

I understand the worry, then, that fantasy can hobble our efforts at mature human connection. The key, I think, is remembering that fantasies are things we have on our own, and relationships are things we have with other people. Fantasies don’t have to come from a place of embitterment or dissatisfaction. They can be playful explorations of the relationship we have with ourselves. If we wear them lightly, enjoy their silliness, they can even open us up to change from unexpected quarters.

Fixate on one or two fantasies, rooted too deeply in discontent, and they get too serious too fast. They grump us up on our friends and family. They curdle the flavor of our daily lives. We start to relate to the person on the other side of the bed as a character in the story we’d rather not be living. He becomes a fixed image of what he once was, or of what we always hoped he might be. We make him responsible for the gap between our wish and his reality.

That isn’t fair.

With a real partner, I have to do my best to listen, and to stay open to the unexpected – to ways of being that may have never crossed my mind, or occupied my fantasy life. After all, the people we share our lives with will change us, too. They will shift the rhythms of our days. They will dislodge our habits. Like second imaginations, they will draw us into unfamiliar territory.

So – here’s to fantasy. He’s to the hypothetical, especially when the hypothetical is silly. He’s to imagining extravagant possibilities for our own lives. But here’s also to meeting someone for the first time, looking in his eyes, and not deciding right away that I know what’s twinkling behind them. Maybe I’ll hold his gaze – for a week, for a month, for a year, for a decade. Maybe both of our lives will change. And maybe the self I become can be as inscrutable and intriguing to the self I am as, in this moment, each of us is to the other.



Article by Alex Borinsky

Tips on Dating an Introvert

“Internet dating has leveled the playing field between extroverts and introverts,” says life coach and author Amy Bonaccorso. “In the past, an extrovert would be the life of the party and get the dates, but now, an introvert can impress someone with their excellent communication skills over email before meeting in person.”

Introverts are so hot right now, don’t you agree? If you’ve recently fallen for an introvert, perhaps you’re feeling a little uncertain about how to proceed. As you find out just how much time he or she needs alone, it is easy to wonder if your shy guy or gal is really on board for a new relationship. Don’t despair. Read on for insight into the inner workings of your alluring introvert’s brain and a few tips on how to deal.

1. Accept an introvert for who he or she is.

“The most important tip for dating an introvert is to accept that this is the personality of the person you are dating,” says Stephanie D. McKenzie, MBA, CPC, CRC, a certified life and relationship coach as well as director at The Relationship Firm. “Many times people like someone who is introverted, except for the fact that they are introverted. This is counterproductive. Accepting this person or exactly who they are and how they are is the key to everything working. They will not be the life of the party, a social butterfly, or an amazing group conversationalist. However, they might be extremely polite, quietly amused in social situations, and very intuitive in your post-social, private time.” In other words, see your introvert for who he or she is, and value the good.

2. Understand that unexpected situations can be unwelcome or scary.

“Audience participation is my worst nightmare,” says Grace V., a social media strategist in Madison, Wisconsin. “It is better to be prepared or warned about things like that beforehand. I like going out and about but I need time to recharge between activities—especially social ones. Small talk can be exhausting and I’d rather have more meaningful, comfortable conversations with close friends.” Don’t force your introvert into a whirlwind weekend of one social obligation after another. You’ll wear her out!

3. If your introvert needs to be left alone, trust and respect that.

“They just need to recharge and will come around when no longer socially exhausted,” says Alisha Kirchoff, a university administrator in Campaign-Urbana, Illinois. “Don’t take it personally.” The Rev. Christopher L. Smith, a marriage and family therapist and Clinical Director and President, at Seeking Shalom, in New York, NY agrees. “Understand that being an introvert is about where your loved one draws their energy and strength. They can be a real people person and still need time to themselves to recharge and process. This is not a contradiction. Don’t minimize ‘me time’ appointments.”

4. Stay close at parties.

“I feel most alone in crowds, large gatherings or parties,” says Grace V. “My best relationships were with people who understood this and stayed close and attentive so I don’t feel so lost in the swarm.”  Bill Corbett, Connecticut-based speaker and author of From the Soapbox to the Stage: How to Use Your Passion to Start a Speaking Business Book explains. “Groups of people, especially large ones, drain the energy from an introvert. If you must attend an event with lots of people, keep it brief. And after the experience of the gathering or party, be ready for your date to want to end the night.” If you can be together at home or in a quiet environment, your introvert will thank you.

“Hanging out and not talking is the holy grail for introverts,” adds Grace. “This means we are comfortable around you, and enjoy the unspoken companionship. I like reading a book or doing my own activity, but prefer to so it in the quiet company of my boyfriend.”

5. Never embarrass an introvert in public.

“I am an introvert and would be horrified by a marriage proposal on the jumbo screen at a ballpark,” says Bonaccorso. “I specifically told my husband that such antics, even photographers hiding in the bushes, would not win my heart. Instead, I would be mortified!” Don’t try to turn your introvert into an unwitting YouTube star. Ever.

6. Check in.

“Make sure that your bubbly, outgoing personality doesn’t overshadow that of your date,” says Florida-based author and psychotherapist Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed, expert on the psychology of eating. “Check in often to ask how he/she is doing. Introverts appreciate it when you take the time to notice what they are silently communicating to you. “Commenting on body language and facial expressions will also help to connect with an introvert, says Rose Hanna, LMFT and professor of psychology at California State University. “Increase your ability to be emotionally expressive will speak to the heart of an introvert.”

7. Give an introvert extra time to process a conflict.

“While most people, whether introverted or extroverted, tend to avoid emotional conflict, introverts as a group will need more time to process the emotional aspects and will tend to delay responding until they feel ready to reply,” says Marc Miller, Ph.D., a psychologist and communication coach in Plainview, New York. “This is how introverts are ‘wired,’ but their reaction can be mistaken for a negative emotional statement. When the extroverted partner expresses her/his feelings, whether loving or angry, and the introverted partner remains silent, the extrovert is likely to interpret the silence as a lack of caring, of indifference, or of rejection. The extrovert might ‘up the ante’ at that point, pressing harder for a response of some kind, which is then likely to cause the introvert to retreat and delay even further.

This is a vicious circle that is extremely common in extrovert-introvert relationships, and can be fatal to the relationship—if not understood by both partners.”

Article by Laura Schaefer.
Laura is the author of Why We Fall Out of Love. Follow her on Twitter:
@teashopgirl