No Sex Tonight....brought to you from the Best of Craig's List

There is a place to Aspire too...the best on Craig's List.
Anyhow, here is a posting that I am sharing with you...my readers.
The Author, let's call him
Cynical Freak Gunius

and he writes...


I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I learn to laugh more about my situation. Here's the post....
"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. "

Word for Today

Bissextile

Did you know, that in leap years there is a Presidential Election in the United State of America?

Don't Try THIS at Home!

Unless, of course you know what you are doing...
I find so few that do...and even then I suspect fault.
If I excluded myself from fault, that would only validate my hypocrisy...
There are plenty of moments where logic ceases to flow from my mind and tongue and I find myself in predictaments that I more or less desire to deny admitting too...

But, if I must share...and you're feeling Bold...
Impervious to failure...
*True failure is only to succumb to a challenge!!!*
JUST TRY, TRY...AGAIN...
Please....

Sit, relaxed
Calm
Cool
Collected

Raise one arm, perpendicular to your shoulder (in the Frontal Plane) and trace in the air a circle in a clockwise fashion. Please. Lift the leg from the same side your arm is circling...and start tracing a circle in counter clockwise fashion with your lifted leg (toe pointed please).

Some things can be So Complicated...
Just like You and I...and everyone else...hence why we are all so special...
This is why we need to treat each other better.
Please!

Sixty Five

It Translates...Literally to Republic of the Equator.  This South American country is also one of two (Chile being the other) countries that does not border Brazil.  Approximately One1000Thousand Kilometers West, out to sea sit the Galapogos Islands...which are a segment of this country (making it One out of Seventeen Megadiverse Countries on the planet)...what does this mean?
It means, it has some of the highest variety of endemic Wildlife on the planet.
Over 1,600 different types of Birds
16,000 different species of Plants
106 endemic Reptiles and 138 Amphibians
Six6000Thousand Species of Butterflies...

"Sustainably conserve and manage the natural heritage including its land and marine biodiversity which is considered a strategic sector".
Protected areas include 11 national parks, 10 wildlife refuges, 9 ecological reserves as well as other areas.

Since Darwin liked, I bet so will I!

Welcome my Readers of Ecuador!

Ask to Name Three of the Weirdest Movies?

My criteria, make them worth watching for a reason other then just pure punishment...Please! As I shall do the same...

No one mentioned Cemetary Man....classic weird flck!
Children of a Lost City was different too.
Cube was some neat Sci-fi that caught me off guard
Terry Gilliam's Brazil (I saw his Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on this list)...watch anything he makes!
How about Donnie Darko?
Barton Fink, need I say more?
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind still makes me think WTF? And why am I still trying to figure it out, as opposed to their Synecdoche NY one which made me give up trying. Even Adaption made scratch my head?
I hate how violated a I felt after watching House of 1,000 Corpses...I almost wish I hadn't watched it. So did I Spit on Your Grave.
Evil Dead movies? Love them!
Jacob's Ladder was cool.
Why did David Cronenberg try making Naked Lunch?
Pick your David Lynch movie of choice...er...Lost Highway it is!
Did not like Pi, not even a little.
Pink Floyd's The Wall??? Remember that one???
Science of Sleep? Really?
I hated A Serious Man, and I can't even tell you why...?
How about old Italan Horror like Suspiria!!!
The Machinist...Christian Bale's performance anyone?
Six String Samurai was cool, in a weird way.
Uneven, but with Potential...The Fountain! His Requiem of a Dream was a doozie too!
Didn't Momento make You want to rewatch it?

and if anyone hasn't seen Night Watch, The Devil's Backbone and Frailty, watch them...they're just great stories without making themselves too weird along the way...creativity intertwined with good story telling.

Censors are Violators!

Along w/spelling...carry the poetic liscence to decorate a sentence in/with any number or symbol you may opt to express yourself with...
Art is never intended to be LIKED by everyone,
It is about the artist expressing their sense of being at the creative moment of inspiration.

Luckily I have thick skin, couple my no nonsense approach to other people's BS...and there is your recipe for ruffling feathers...even if it is with words, numbers and symbols!
Love it or hate it...just appreciate its authenticity.
Rules?Regulations?
How about respect of personal expression?
Censorship is my ultimate violation!

Its Still Better then The Alternative!

Making Amends in my Mind through my Actions has never been perceived as hellacious or Herculean in effort...as a matter of fact, it comes natural to who I am...almost as if I have a Biological affinity to sustaining an emotional state of equilibrium.  It befuddles me when others contest me on this...almost as if they accept the chaos as their existing state.
Without Order, then there will be no Chaos...one can not exist without the Other!

My Morning was slow, yet somehow ran long...I leave work as is, meaning sneakers, black shorts, a red Tee-Shirt and Burgundy Fleece.  My hair is untethered, I pull up my neck warmer up to shield my ears (its very windy outside!) and in turn encase my locks.  This makes me appear to be another three or four inches taller since my may hair burst out through the warmer...kinked and curly, i look as if I belong somewhere as a native in the Carribbean.  With my John Lennon-like golden Sun glasses on, off I go...
I got to Joe somewhere around One P.M. Eastern Standard Time.  His parents greet me, and just as quickly off they go...being busy, with something important to deal with...that is life, no?  Busy with importance, all the time?

Off we go...

We reach The Baiting Hollow Farm Vineyard sometime just before Two P.M. EST
Tessa Souter Group was in full performance...welcome to Jazz on the Vine out on the East End of Long Island.
http://www.liwines.com/?cat=6
This Vineyard is Overflowing with People from as far North as New England and as far South as New Jersey...and from in between, Many New York City folk as well.  The only crime I immediately notice is that their two best reds are SOLD OUT...ce domage!  For all score keepers Red Velvet (a meritage) and their Cabernet Sauvingnon.
Tessa, finishes her wonderful performance...the music ceases but the chatter starts...from all areas.  I loose Joe along the way.  NO big deal, I'll find him when he is ready to be found!  My eye catches him on the other side of the doorway leading to a tented deck area.  He is in deep conversation with two people unfamiliar to me.  I slowly creep over to them, still unable to identify who this couple is that Joe is conversing with.  He motions in my vicinity directing the couple's attention to where I was standing.  The fellow he was talking to was a tall slender darker skinned man around my age.  His head was shaved and he was dressed in black.  He looks me up and down, and I hear him say..."I don't know who he is, I do not recognize him"
At this point, a familiar sense overcomes me...I know this man...
I tilt my head down so I can sneak a peak with my eyes just over my sun glasses...
The fellow jumps back, leans his body back and lets out a bellow...
At the same exact moment, I recognized him as well...
He was a long time childhood friend, I haven't seen him in about a decade and a half...where does the time go...?

(Just so you should know, I am to fault more then anyone for losing touch with my friends over the years...my natural tendency to lead a quiet and unassuming social life has always impeded my potential to exist within a Riveting and Populated Social setting...I certainly hold that potential with my resources)

We immediately embrace, and he states..."you know, over the years I had wondered what happened in your life"
Funny thing, I often wondered what had ever happened to Ian too.  We chit chat for another half hour, catching up on the last fifteen years...
Seeing an Old friend has already more then made this day far Valuable then expected.
We part ways...

Off We Go...Destination Number Two II
One that I have never Visited
Sparkling Point...Located at one of the furthest points East on the North Road (Sound Avenue).  It is a winery that Specializes with Sparkling Wine.
Curious lesson in Wine History.
*Meet Dom Perignon, a French Benedictine Monk who perceieved himself as a failed wine maker since his wine had bubbles in it*
If all failures led to such success!!!
The building is Large, Clean, Open and Manicured...just Immaculate.  A great vineyard to bring a date too.  Approximately fifteen tables decorate an indoor courtyard with high cielings and many windows.  We are greeted by Melissa...
Hi!
She is cute and friendly with these gorgeous Green-Hazel eyes.  She makes us feel welcome and comfortable...almost as if we were her friends whom she had invited to visit her at work.  Best of all, she KNOWS her wines!  We sampled five separate vintages...all different in style and flavor...yet all were wonderful.  Created from famed Roederer Estate Winemaker, a French guy by the name Gill Martin...who is now a Long Islander.  We have our crackers with our samples...delicious.  We ask Melissa where we should go next...
She pulls out a map, and with pen in hand she begins to trace a potential destined path...
Only one suggestion stands out.  The Wine Maker's Studio.  Located on Peconic Lane.  She recommends the Leo Family Red.
Thank you, that was terrific...I'll be back Melissa.
On the way out I bump into another familiar face...Dawn W.  I haven't seen her in approximately four years...and she hasn't aged one single day in those Fourteen hundred days.  She was an old customer of mine.  Young middle aged type.  Quiet.  Shy.  Timid.  She was ecstatic to see me, she greeted me with a hug.  How nice to see you out here.
Enjoy the wine Dawn W.

Destination...errr III
I over shoot Peconic Lane.  Next thing I know I am pulling into Vineyard 48.  The last time I was here was four years earlier with my very beloved Ex, Kerry.  We thought their wine was average at best, yet over priced on any day.  It was empty, yet the woman that served us on that particular day was young and pleasant.  I have not wanted to go back since...
I can not say the same about Joe.  He had heard rumblings...rumors about this place...about how its kind of a club setting...how lively it gets...O.K. for whatever its worth...
this was news to me.  I can't say I even fathom to wrap my head around it, but I will flow with it.  As we approach the tasting room, we hear Base...Boom, Boom Boom, Boom!  We enter, and sure enough there is a Hip Hop DJ blaring music.  A table of three young couples seated directly in front of him, just enjoying the scene.  Approximately five other tables were occuppied with older folks...why?  Here?  Do I want to really know.  What I want is a quick exodus, but might as well sample their wine...since we are here.  The Taster, a women somewhere approaching her fifties serves us.  She has Blonde Hair and light hazel eyes.  She flirts with her hips and taunts with her words.  She pours the first wine, the table wine....I suppose it would be OK to serve with Pizza.  She is bright enough to detect that she may need to impress us with something a little more refined.  The second wine was her Merlot Reserve...its a winner, but not at the price of Forty Dollars a bottle (tweny seven Euros?  No way!).  The third wine...Cabernet Sauv.  Not bad, pretty good actually...same notion though.  Finally, the headliner...her Meritage.  She pours her Vignetta Red...excellent wine, but over priced.  The only Vineyard 48 wine in my cellar is their last previous vintage of the Vignetta (2004).  It is a wine that has not been made for the past seven or so years.  We leave unimpressed...maybe its the loud music and the overwhelming presence of gyrating hips coupled with hooting and hollering...
It is what it is...Off we Go...

The Wine Maker's Studio on Peconic Lane...Destination IV
I haven't been here since it was the Tasting room, some five years earlier.  According to Chris, the Hippie Looking young Fellow working the store...The Tasting Room closed approximately a year ago.  The Tasting Room was a store front some of the local wineries who were unable to sustain a tasting room on their premises (for whatever the reason may have been).  I really enjoyed the tasting room because it exposed me to wines I would have never known.  For the score keepers, there are approximately Forty or so Long Island Vineyards and countless other aspiring wine makers whom have affliations.  The Wine Maker's Studio is a store front for the Independant Wine Maker.  So far, there are Four Winemakers who make and sell their wines through this store.  One wine from each were on display:  a light white called 'Anomaly' by Shinn Estate winemaker Anthony Nappa (this wine is a Pinot Noir...look at that a white Pinot Noir, it has been said that Pinot Noir is a White masquarading as a Red)...a dry Reisling from famed Wolffer and Roanoke winemaker Roman Roth (a taste of his wines brings instant Euphoria)...Another Anthony Nappa wine is his 'Spezia' Gewurtztraminer (Seductively syrupy Dry wine that would pair wonderfully with Thai food)..Russel Hearn's Shiraz (Pelligrini's Winemaker) under his Suhru label (short for Susan and Russel Hearn...Russ loves his wife!)...and Finally, John Leo the winemaker of Clovis Point presents his first of many (hopefully) offerings the Leo Family Red (80% Merlot, 7% Syrah, 6% Petit Verdot, 5% Cabernet Franc and 2% Cabernet Sauvignon).  We sample all five...and Melissa did us right, The Leo Family Red was Stellar, better then any red we had sampled today yet (less expensive the 48's...just saying).  While tasting a curious thing happened.  The lovely couple next to us befriended us.  They were somewhere around ten or so years older then us.  Real friendly, I did not catch their names...but I appreciated their company.  The women left before us, but before they did one of them insisted that Joe was familiar to her...I was marginally worried that she may have recognized me from John Harvards (on a night I dined there in my Boxer Shorts)...nonetheless, they bid us both an nice Adieu...
Its just past Five Thirty now...my goal was to make the Jazz performance at Seven O'clock at the Indigo Hotel in the Riverhead area.  A known lively night spot.
We leave and head West...

I pull into Martha Clara...they are closing
No more tasting available...Good, I am not a big fan any how...Corporate Owned!
Entenmann's owned....
BOOOO!
Just trying to spending a little time before it reaches Seven.

Destination V...Roanoke Vineyards
Their wine here is Good, real Good...yet still Overpriced.  They are affliated with Woelffer Estate of South Hampton...the First Vineyard to market a One Hundred Do$$ar Merlot (at least Emeril liked it...BAM!)...wine is made from Grapes, right?  When did grapes become so expensive?  Is A One Hundred Dollar bottle going make you look younger and thinner and more beautiful...and just tease you and make you feel great...right, that is what its supposed to do?  Why else the high price???and in the end...What if the wine isn't any good?
Anyhow, a young Latin looking fellow greeets and serves us.  I was hoping his Co worker would have been the one.  She was this Tall Blonde with these beautiful crystilline Grey eyes.  She is well built with natural curves.  I can see her legs were nice and toned, thick and muscular...yet she is still humble with her appearance.
Four red wines are offered to be tasted.
The latin fellow pours the first wine and serves us cheese and bread.  We are hungry, we finish the food before the wine sample.  A group of four young woman recruit Joe to take their picture, he does without hesitation.  Off to my right at the end of the bar stands a group of five (three men and two women)...i recognize one of the woman within that group.  She is one of the young ladies over from Shinn Estate, quite possibly one of the best kept secrets of the East End.  I assume at this point the other four are employees from the various vineyards spending their free time together, after work.
The Taster returns with the second Red and a second plate of Bread and Cheese...he is smiling at us, for he knows how it feels to visit five vineyards and not eat in between.  Both Reds are Superb.  Shortly thereafter he returns with a decanter.  In the decanter there is wine.  A label is stuck on the Decanter, it reads 2007 Merlot Reserve...he pours for us.  Excellent wine!!!
By this point, the Volumptous Blonde has slowly gravitated to our end...she seems to be friends with group of five.  The Vineyards of Long Island are a bit incestuous in that sense...they seem to bond and socialize with one another.
The petite brunette at the direct end of the bar starts up with the Blonde bar tender (who's name turns out to be Amanda).  The girls frantenize and laugh.  The petite brunette proclaims to her group..."i went to the beach with Amanda, I could not believe how great her abs look.  Made me feel real insecure"...by this point, Amanda's milky complexion had turned rosey and she became flustered by the compliment, and walks away from her friends mumbling to herself "I can't take this anymore, I have been drinking all afternoon".  Her friends resume their excitment over Amamda.
My shapely courtesan wanders over to me and politely asks, "what may I pour you?"  I tell her I am up to my forth and final tasting, its called the Blend One.  I have had it before and found it outstanding.  She pours me a glass and brings me a third plate of Cheese and Bread.  Before I can finish my glass, she uncorks a bottle and tells me that "I should try this Cabernet, its amongst the best they have to offer and is almost sold out."
She was spot on, Great Wine!
By this point, a young dark haired woman enters the facility and stands directly next to me and gives Amanda a suggestively welcoming smile.  Joe pokes her in the arm, "are you following me around Amanda".  Her name is Amanda as well.  Turns out that Amanda number II is an old intimate aqcaintance of his brother, and the younger sister of an old friend...my, my what a small world. The two Amandas seem to be good friends...they make their plans for the Evening, loud enough to share them with Joe and I.  Funny, its somewhere Joe would typically go on Saturday Night.
Hi and Bye Amanda, maybe I'll be seeing you around sometime later...or not.

Its almost Seven...and we are most certainly Hungry!!!  We stop somewhere.  We sit at the bar, otherwise we have to wait to be sitted.  The Bar tender here is cute as a button and her name is Tiffany.  She is partially Latin in her ethnicity and somewhere between 19 years old and twenty-two.  Her face is very attractive with this light complexion and full complimentary and naturally aligned lips.  Her physique is disproportionate...particularly her lower half is noticeably bigger in porportion to the rest of her body...think a Centaurian Goddess.  Each ear has five piercings, and her hair is artificially lightened with a blonde hue.  She has yet to realize how blessed she is with her looks, i bet she has all the Men and Boys chasing her...her naive nature more then likely just dismisses any and all of that attention.
We order food, I go with the lighter calories.  Six ounces of meat with two vegtable sides.  Joe goes with Tiffany's recommandation...chicken and pasta in some cream sauce.  Easily double in calories of what I was eating.  Joe deliberates writing Tiffany a note, I talk him out of it twice...something tells me that it would give her the wrong impression of Joe.  I tell Joe, if you want to approach her...do so in a face to face manner.  He heeds half my advice.  We leave, and Tiffany never receives either one of her notes.  Nor does she get smoozed by Joe.  My bet is that he would have successfully done well with it...but it is all hearsay now as to what may have come...
Sometimes, you'll never know if you don't try...and even in failure there is a lesson to be learned!

Happy 37th Birthday Buddy!