Let me begin my summarizing my Friday evening...Seven P.M. 19:00 (hours) I attended Gerard Savarese's wake. His Daughter Margie is a co worker, my condolences go out to the Savarese Family. Ninety90Minutes later I was attending Heather Lynn Parman's wake...she was a customer of mine, she was 2twentyeight8 years old at the time of her untimely death....we should treat each day with the preciousness life deserves...with delicate hands and a loving heart...Love Like Heather LLH...Sweet dreams in Heaven Heather...
May peace be with both....
What i owe the readers (as per continuous request) is this...I am going to place myself on trial, that is only fair!
Kerry called them Curveballs...i have a whole repertoire of them...and they are very effective in creating chaos...
The story is simple, i wanted to test the authenticity and resiliency of my bond with Kathryn...Its the Teacher in Me that peered its marker upon the beat of this connection. I wanted to find out if she has it in her to deal with me...it seems as if she would rather not only Avoid dealing with me...but my suspicion is she would rather not deal (within the confines of conflict), with anyone...well almost anyone, i know Sara Stillwell has had her fair share of beatdowns From Kathryn! I believe that Kathryn does not understand my motives, nor my direction in this...its easier for Kathryn to cease and desist from this ongoing clash then pursue an end means.
What i am guilty of is instigating and manipulating this tumultuous situation. What i am most remorseful for is inducing a sense of betrayal from the young bond that has formed between Kathryn and I. Ultimately leading to "hurtful" emotions. She states shes not hurt, of course the hurt is minimal when you leave...but its still there. If i can "redo" this i would at the very least let nature take the course of conflict and not artificially (and unnaturally) create it. It was destined to happen, i figured that if we went through it now and survived it, we could survive anything.
This Pulse is quickly fading, Kathryn is letting is die...I am willing to resuscitate and remediate the situation...i am willing to make myself vulnerable for her because i feel that shes a rare jewel and worth the Fight (and from what she has said to me...she has a fondness for Me, somewhere). Her guarded state will not allow her too, I think she should take that chance and see where it takes her.
On my birthday week i was in a car chase, a fight, and attended two wakes...i can't wait to see what this new year will bring me.
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