Relationships get built day by day, act by act. It starts with the foundation cementing itself, then the walls erect themselves around that grounding...then getting protected by a capping of a roof, which slowly gets filled on the inside with pipes, wires, insulation, furniture and decorations. Soon there after life exists within. There are certain principles that make this construction somewhat garden-variety...homes with gardens often make for a calm comfort!
Rule Number1#One#1 build your relationship on respect...love will follow...if you respectfully care, love always follows. Let me add a PS to that...leave out (avoid harboring on) your own personal inadequacies and flaws (at least leave out the details) when in a New relationship! Indications (discussions or admission) of low self esteem or embarrassing weaknesses certainly will compound and potential kill a relationship when any tumultuous situations arise...fights and problems between people will always occur, no matter how strong your bond may be...this is why you need to have respect first!!! For your self and the other person.
Relationships that start off with too much steam often falter in the long haul...make sure you properly pace yourselves. Don't give your potential mate the opportunity to get tired of you (keep calling, texting...etc to a minimum.)...Most people deal poorly when smothered. Also avoid that quick commitment for life...this can quickly lead the other individual into a panic if you both do not come to this conclusion together. Grow together...don't run behind or ahead.
Tests. I am the Task master, ask anyone who actually truly knows me...its in my blood, its ingrained in my genetics...its my gift to share for the better with the world (well i hope its for the better). Relationships are continually being subjected to these trials and experimentation type of actions by individuals who are too cautious to accept the strength and commitment of their bond. These "exercises" can take many forms, but it is basically involving some sort of pulling back from the other person to see what happens....some common ways this can happen is through some silly and/or needless fight...or my favorite stir trouble with meaningless flirtations with a rival (very effective).
Now there are two questions that are being asked through these acts...
"How free am I to leave if I want to?"
and...
"How important am I to you and what would do if you lost me?"
This is what I've observed...you will need a sense of security, be equally independent and poised in order to weather this scenario. I find that too much pleading /slash/ groveling leads to single life...just saying.
Break-ups are tests that are motivated by either or of the individuals in order to assess the validity and stability of their bond. With proper and solid skills in handling this crisis, the rejected individual can reconcile the relationship...it starts with a personal calmness and an understanding that you should not depend entirely upon someone else for the satisfaction of every emotional need...keep your interests alive outside of any relationship* Finally guard against selfishness in your relationship...no one party should give an all out effort to keep the other happy...its a two way street with crossroads...just saying.
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