A brilliant peer...I absolutely loved reading what she shared with me...I in turn shared with you...Meet the very finest of Brilliance
So it is said, and so it should be written...k
"I would not expect you to fare better with a surfeit of emotion. I wouldn't change a thing about you. You're perfect as you are.
Perhaps you do not pay but profit from Kathryn's experience. She, must have been a different Kate 16 years ago. If who she is today is a kindred soul than it is only since that first love... Do you hint that he was also Spartan? Unlikely, but you do make her sound very deep in the burrow.
Love is an interesting study and a state poorly defined. Were it not gauche to pin championships for such things I would say you'd be in the Nationals for attributes such as patience, acceptance, openness.... you have the capacity for obsession, craving... Could it be that you are love and it's everyone else is short? (I don't think so, but follow along for sport.) Love boosts dopamine and Konstantine, aren't you steeped in that? Didn't we cover this once? Risk/reward, rough play... is every act of creation an act of Love? Is destruction not passion? Enough about neurotransmitters let's talk about hormones: Testosterone. Had mine tested once (there was some hair that concerned me) turns out it runs quite low but... I am highly responsive to it. Hate to think of what I might grow if it were at a normal level, for a woman. We might have to stop calling it masturbation and write me off as the whole homunculus.
Romantic love, the brain and mating. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY. Boring but Fisher, if you haven't already caught her has science on her side and covers off on the decision making that goes in to mating.
I very much appreciate your observations on love, experiences and lack there of. If the assessment of your emotional range is correct, I could play a game of brinksmanship that might induce a high state of arousal, but ultimately I'd probably not be able to manipulate you into anything other than an infatuation. Emotion has a range but it isn't it exactly Foucault's pendulum. Are you prone to other forms of addiction? Drinking, gambling the runner's high... Have you never found yourself in a similar state of rapture with a woman? Perhaps one day you'll discover something about the brain cocktail and a why (as in why not you). Or meet with so persistent an infatuation...this talk of vulnerability is persistent. Remind me, Is it your neck on the blade?
I do hope Ms. A. S. responds to you. Passionate and disconnected. It's elementary really: Fire, Ice and all those lady puddles. You do like seeing smart women become deeply irrational, over a little thing called love. You're an artist. Has it ever struck you as interesting that we treat unhappiness but do not actively seek to induce happiness? There is no class of prescription medication for: I feel perfectly alright, but I'd like to be over the moon. Let's fall in love, we'll take Eros's Arrow. Do you understand this bias? There are Lyrics running through my head (I have to appreciate my capacity for self stimulation)
True we becoming more oriented towards the study of health. More inclined to ask what does happiness look like. (Farther afield: How many people do you think qualify for psychological studies and then base their responses not on the exercise but what they know of the professors work, and what they'd guess he's investigating? Probably not too many.)
I love you.
No you don't.
She does.
She does not.
Yes, She Does.
Why should I believe You?
It's you.
Oh.
Don't believe her, believe me.
Have you all had a chance to speak?
No.
Awhile back I read everything I could get my dirty little hands on about D/s. That's a bit of an exaggeration, my hands didn't start off dirty. Anyway, one of the worst books I read was (try not to throw up) The Loving Dominant. It was a difficult book to write well and the author largely failed, but it was available digitally before Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns and Different Loving. Fantasies are personal and not every woman wants to be tied to the tracks, though if you're planning on it, there may be something to be learn from The Loving Dominant about switching schedules. I only mention this because the most interesting section was written by the author's wife. She talks about how it is a relationship that, by way of the microcosm of the scene, serves every part of her, maiden, lady and crone (these may not be precisely the categories, but you get the idea, it aligns roughly with transactional analysis). Women are sold a parcel, True Love, a portion says that her other half fits like injection molding, for all of her many parts...The pack of custom Yous is a wonder, and perfect for someone who will cleave to a well fitted illusion.
Tell me Konstantine. Can you see how people connect to one another? Feel what passes between them. Likely it is a delusion that I can see/feel it, but the other part of that delusion is that there is a blank spot surrounding me. That I have no connections. I saw a version of love this weekend that floored me, Like so many fibers, connective tissue grown between them, they had become each other's home and grown a thicket around them and were each in themselves two puzzle pieces made very complicated by life. Have you ever seen love beyond illusion? It's a big love.
I was in love once a long time ago. It happened after a loss. He became more beautiful for his imperfections. I was intoxicated by him and in sexual hunger, felt like a wolf, prowling. The imagery I have for these pas des deux, is like ancestral memory or a Duran Duran song.
Do your insights on economics rival this Master's Thesis on LUV? If so, the home country needs YOU.
Have a wonderful evening Konstantine. I hope you are tripping the light fantastic, with MAS, or getting ornate with Kate."
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