It started off With Our Friend "Joe"...and this one question "Can I Get a Date?" P.S. For all new readers (and all are truly welcome here), I do recommend that your first read should be the initial entry which was posted on September 27, 2010 (titled as 'Single Life')...this all started back then. Once you read the first entry, feel free to read any other in any order. Most importantly, please feel free to share and voice your thoughts. This is all our forum!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
What does a letter between two arguing spouses look like?
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2
minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever! The case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband,
P.S. don't try!! To find me, Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free at last!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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