And the bartender said "Oh my goodness, what happened to you?"
The pirate said "What are you talking about? I'm fine."
"No really, look at you" said the bartender. "You didn't have that peg leg last time I saw you"
"Oh" said the pirate, "That was one day when I was having a fight at sea and a cannon ball shot off my leg. But I am fine now"
"And what about the hook you have where your right hand used to be?" asked the bartender.
"Well" said the pirate, "That happened when I was having a sword fight and the other guy cut off my hand. But I'm fine now."
"But, what about the patch over your right eye?" Asked the bartender.
"Oh, that is an interesting story" said the pirate. "One day I heard a sound overhead and when I looked up a bird shat in my eye."
"You surely didn't lose an eye from bird poop?" said the bartender.
"Nope!" replied the pirate. "It happened on the first day I got my hook."
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