My Justification

I can't say, with conviction that I am or ever was in (or out) of tender love...but I will admit, with confidence, that love is a curiosity.  A curiosity of how one falls in or out of it.  A curiosity of why it even exists, if the outcome can be such a tragic anddrastic result. A curiosity of its benefits, a curiosity of HOW its withdrawals must feel.  A curiosity of how victimless and faceless can get countered by wonder and immortality.  In essence, Transforming a weak heart into an invincible and everlasting force.  Most of all, a curiosity if it's ever in my reality or end destination.
Is it even a destination? I see it more of the joys of a well spent journey...one that only grows more vulnerable with its evergrowing intensity.  Almost as if you a appease a depressing famine with a bountiful treasury of lust, power and desire.
Feelings.  I feel, that yes, love is that key that unlock darkness with light.  Bright like the sun.  Basking in that all encompassing warmth.  Within and without limits, rules, boundaries and restrictions.  It repels and enchants me...like I said, it's my curiosity...something that far exceeds just a common fantasy.  This curiosity that I do hope to find in life, and not in death.  My past holds no answers, only obscure and insignificant clues what shouldn't be nothing more than a forgotten republic of lifeless fields and godless thrones.
I drifted into the badlands of strangers and stragglers...who mindlessly wander through a vice driven, soulless existence.  Where good faith actions have been replaced by pictures and apps.  Where words mean little, only sin holds the answers to the lies being told.  I try not to listen, I try to forget...I try to change my path...but my curiosity still lurks, growling with anticipation....this goes beyond starvation.
I swam against the current, I drowned in the ceaseless gallows of that ocean's abyss.  I reserve to judge not only my path, but all else's...
To give myself an infinite hope, that my curiosity is not just a dream.
Dream that profoundly inspires a wilting world...a dream that can communicate the possible, as well as, the impossible.  Life always seems to start all over after the frost fades to a springing green universe.  Sprouting forth after a dying winter, my turbulent rioting mind refuses to accept a reality absent of meaning and solace.  A reality without grotesque bias and irrelevant ignorance.  It haunts, it eats at me....like burning flesh in the midst of the Gobbi...just eats me whole and spits me back out!!! This dreams spins a web, so thick...so dense...nothing, absolutely nothing gets in or comes out.
My world.
My haunts.
My dreams.
My curiosity.
It's here where I live, I exist...because it's what I know to be.  It's who and how I am.
I Face these ghosts in my heart, in this infinite and unimagable Fire and freshness of enlightenment.