Just for the record!

In case anyone misconstrued what i have written, Kathryn is not Six foot Six 6'6"
...she is about a half a foot shorter!

Along the way i have a few random words yet still very specific items shared with me...

...U keep seeing the sign but u are not heeding it.  U are not what i need in my life.  U made that very clear in your actions and I have moved on as a result of it...so please let it go...I am not going to change my mind...I want something different than u have to offer...u might think of me as cold and cruel but i know what i want and i don't waste my time.  I am looking for my soulmate and u obviously are not it...
...Maybe u should take this as a lesson learned and be careful about the things u do...maybe u need to know yourself better...
...If u feel u needed to be guarded that's your issue...what u see is what u get with me I didn't hide anything :-) not only are u guarded but sneaky...not soulmate material...
...Words mean nothing to me =-)...your actions spoke very different and your interest has increased, mine has faded from this situation...
...Hmmmm . : - ) I think u are a shit.  U took the beginnings of a nice relationship, thought u were a big man because Jen showed interest and your ego was a little inflated and u didn't think what the ramifications of being a sneak would be and u got busted.  If u had been so interested in me this never would have occurred.  Now u are trying to backpeddle and undo what u did and it is too late because I now see u for what u are and nothing is going to change that.  U wanted me to communicate now i have...

Kathryn's arguments are spot on, she feels betrayed by my actions, and i completely understand her status on the matter.  Now, the impossible task of convincing her that what happened is out of character for me...not to mention the obvious, selecting the absolute worst study case to infuse in our budding relationship...Real bad move on my part.  I am sorry Kathryn for instigating a problem, when there was none formed...As Elizabeth told me, i should have just waited for nature to take its course and bring on one all on its own...I bet Liz is spot on as well.  I sending Kathryn White Flowers today with a white teddy bear...She is either going to burn them or hopefully begin to understand my sincerity in all of this.  I learned a lesson alright.

Picric Acid

(A yellow crystalline phenol derivative (structurally similar to TNT))

     Its a highly combustible compound that was used as a component of a skin cream invention by my Ex-girlfriends' Grandfather...this man was a master chemist over half a century ago.  Picric is rooted from the Greek word bitter...its a feeling that i don't wish upon anyone.

    As i have stated in previous entries, the most resilient quality any relationship has is the ability to Cope with conflict...ultimately leading to either closure or resolution.  Individuals unwillingness to put themselves within the battlegrounds of conflict for the greater good, must find that inner strength to persevere that insurmountable hurdle.  Some individuals develop defense mechanisms that create an emotional abyss...distancing themselves from that burning fire of friction and division.  This is not as much a personal attack, as much as a forum of protection.

No hard feelings, its never personal!

Its true that you can potentially offer up some vulnerability in situations demanding solution...some people need to learn to offer up a little of their soul to mend a bridge over that burning disunity.

3 three in one 1

     Let me begin my summarizing my Friday evening...Seven P.M. 19:00 (hours) I attended Gerard Savarese's wake.  His Daughter Margie is a co worker, my condolences go out to the Savarese Family.  Ninety90Minutes later I was attending Heather Lynn Parman's wake...she was a customer of mine, she was 2twentyeight8 years old at the time of her untimely death....we should treat each day with the preciousness life deserves...with delicate hands and a loving heart...Love Like Heather LLH...Sweet dreams in Heaven Heather...
May peace be with both....

     What i owe the readers (as per continuous request) is this...I am going to place myself on trial, that is only fair!
Kerry called them Curveballs...i have a whole repertoire of them...and they are very effective in creating chaos...
  The story is simple, i wanted to test the authenticity and resiliency of my bond with Kathryn...Its the Teacher in Me that peered its marker upon the beat of this connection.  I wanted to find out if she has it in her to deal with me...it seems as if she would rather not only Avoid dealing with me...but my suspicion is she would rather not deal (within the confines of conflict), with anyone...well almost anyone, i know Sara Stillwell has had her fair share of beatdowns From Kathryn!  I believe that Kathryn does not understand my motives, nor my direction in this...its easier for Kathryn to cease and desist from this ongoing clash then pursue an end means.
  What i am guilty of is instigating and manipulating this tumultuous situation.  What i am most remorseful for is inducing a sense of betrayal from the young bond that has formed between Kathryn and I.  Ultimately leading to "hurtful" emotions.  She states shes not hurt, of course the hurt is minimal when you leave...but its still there.  If i can "redo" this i would at the very least let nature take the course of conflict and not artificially (and unnaturally) create it.  It was destined to happen, i figured that if we went through it now and survived it, we could survive anything.
  This Pulse is quickly fading, Kathryn is letting is die...I am willing to resuscitate and remediate the situation...i am willing to make myself vulnerable for her because i feel that shes a rare jewel and worth the Fight (and from what she has said to me...she has a fondness for Me, somewhere).  Her guarded state will not allow her too, I think she should take that chance and see where it takes her.

On my birthday week i was in a car chase, a fight, and attended two wakes...i can't wait to see what this new year will bring me.

On my Birthday

 "Never Becomes darker...

Then when dawn is about to come"

     Kathryn informed Me that we both need to look elsewhere...she always warned me that she might be a bit impulsive...i suppose she might have a point.  Rather then resolve conflict, it is easier to avoid it by evading it.  I do care about her (a whole lot to be exact), but i can not force her to stay in my company if she feels that she is best suited in another environment.  If this is how it needs to be Kathryn, then so be it.
There is an old saying
if you care about something, set it free, if you are meant to be with it...then it shall return...
Be free Kathryn
and if it is meant
to be
i'll see you again
be well
be blessed

Snow Days are Fun

Mother Nature was the first to greet me with a Birthday Gift...about a foot of snow!!!  What better way to start a day then with a four hour workout?!

Thank you readers for taking the time in your day to read from Our Blog =)
We are encroaching two2000thousand Readers
Bless you all
Especially my new Ukrainian Readers


I'm in a deviant mood, maybe i'll throw a wrench in the sky and see where it lands.  On Tuesday Jen was introduced to me.  On Wednesday, she made a point to express interest.  The thing is, i know who Jen is...but she has no idea who i am.  Now if i actually introduce myself, will this stir the pot or will Kathryn understand?  If she understands then Kathryn's a keeper, if she walks...well then what can i say...there is an entire journey that she will miss out on.  I'm flipping the coin Kathryn, where will it land and what will you do about it?  Be warned, don't get angry (don't be mad), don't get scared and please don't walk away...these are my vested risks...but i would really like to bet on you.

Carla says "...

...No Relationship has a right way of being steered through its waters...

Remember to ask questions!

Never ASSume AnSwerS

NO, NONE...it just doesn't Exist

The Perfect Relationship...

Did you Notice?
No Two 2Relationships2 Ever
Resemble each other?
Each is UnIque

PS

I told Kathryn

That I Like How She's Just

The Right Combination of

Being Delicate

Strong and Free-Willed

yet still Tempermental

but always Sexy

Just More Taxation

     Its somewhere around 5five:twenty20 a.m. Eastern Time (early THIS morning) when i was headed North on Stony Brook Road cruising at a rate approximately twenty25five %percent% faster then the posted limit...approaching a bend at the intersection with route 3three4fortyseven7, i punch my accelerator as I swiftly navigate my way through a GREEN light...no need to be needlessly held back there with a yellow to red possibility.  Over the intersection i continue my journey North...in the far distance using my rear view mirror i can see the headlights of another motorist Turn onto the same road (same direction).  That vehicle is well over a quarter 1/4 mile behind me...lets expand that gap...vroom vroom and a ZOOM.  I'm quick, and i am Sharp.  I make my turns as i weave my way in my lane, contuinue to commandeer my way North...God i love my car (Acura).  I finally stall when i encounter my first Red Light of my morning Trip...Tick Tock...Time always moves sooooo sssssllloooowwww for me...especially in the morning.  Green...I'm Off, but with the other driver directly behind me, i'm slightly more respectful of driving rules and regulations.  I stop at the Stop Light at the 25twentyfiveA intersection, turn to head West...
     That is when i noticed that i was about to be visited by a disgruntled, hemorrhoid infested, middle aged man who is not too pleased to make my acquaintance this early (and cold) morning...40forty40 Minutes later with t2w2o lectures and tickets richer...to add insult to injury, he wanted to know where I was this early in shorts when its about twenty20twenty degrees out?  You have got to be kidding me!