Sleep Habits and Relationships

Without a doubt, I have noticed the parallels of good sleep correlating to how I treat (or how I get treated) in all my relationships.  Take note folks, our sleep will affect how we treat one another...sometimes for the better, sometimes not.  My advice, get your shut eye!

One way that happy couples are alike? Synchronized alarm clocks—and bedtimes. A study published this month in the journal Sleep revealed that how couples sleep together is influenced by how satisfied they are with their marriage. The 46 participating couples reported that those who shared a bed were simultaneously awake or asleep in it about 75 percent of the time. When wives felt higher satisfaction in their marriages, that number rose, as they synced their sleep patterns even more closely with their husbands’.

But shared sleep habits apparently not only expose truths about relationships, they can also affect them. Some more findings:

Forget what you see in the movies: The majority of the couples surveyed for a study published in April by the University of Hertfordshire in the U.K. slept back-to-back rather than in the same direction (or face-to-face). Regardless of their positions, though, according to the same study, couples who sleep an inch apart tend to be happier than those who sleep 30 inches apart: Ninety-four percent of couples who fall asleep while touching their partner reported a happy relationship; only 68 percent of those who didn’t touch reported the same satisfaction.

A poor night’s sleep can mean more than under-eye circles: It can be a precursor to relationship conflict, concluded a study published by the University of California—Berkeley in July 2013 in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. Couples are more likely to fight the day after a restless night. Sleep deprivation can also lead to a reduced ability to read a partner’s emotions and an increase in negative feelings, worsening arguments.

Losing sleep can also affect a sense of gratitude toward partners, another UC Berkeley study said, this one from January 2013. Couples who spent the night agitated or distracted instead of snoozing serenely are less likely to feel appreciation for their relationship or demonstrate appreciation the next day.

Married women may be more susceptible to the damaging relationship effects of insufficient shut-eye than their husbands, said a 2011 study funded by the National Institutes of Health. Wives who don’t have peaceful nights are more likely to initiate negative interactions with their husbands in the morning. Men aren’t as likely to be triggered in the same way.


Article by Kiley Bense
"5 Secret Ways Sleep Affects Relationships"

Recognizing Your Inner Wisdom

“Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.” -- Buddha

While this advice from “the enlightened one” may be easier said than done, it’s safe to say that we have all embarked on our own journeys toward personal wisdom in one way or another. It’s more a matter of how far we’ve come, where we hope to be, and the obstacles currently remaining in the way.

Unfortunately, inner wisdom isn’t something that we can learn from a textbook, lecture or lesson. We simply (or not so simply) have to live it. In his 1922 pioneering piece on senescence, G. Stanley Hall associated the development of wisdom on a personal level with the emergence of a meditative attitude, philosophic calmness, impartiality, and the desire to draw moral lessons from life experiences.

The throws of daily life often lead us astray from these characteristics that we need to focus on, leaving us out of touch with our true selves. But if we take the time to identify the moments that are inhibiting our intuition, we will discover that fulfilling and lasting inner connection we are searching for.

Here are 6 ways you could be standing in the way of your own personal wisdom without even realizing it.

You’re quick to judge a book by its cover.

Preconceived notions about the world and all that it encompasses are like locks on the door to personal wisdom. Whether you rely on first impressions, blindly stick by the ideas of others or approach life with a closed mind, you miss some of the most important and beautiful lessons lying just beneath the surface of things. Living empathetically -- connecting with others and your surroundings rather than judging them -- allows you to learn far more from every interaction and experience, thus enhancing your personal wisdom. If you open your eyes a little wider, the thoughts in your mind will follow.

You don’t learn from your failures.

When we feel pain, embarrassment or humiliation from our biggest mistakes in life, the easier response seems to be to shut out the negative feelings altogether and attempt to move beyond them. However, ignoring these failures rather than internalizing them will only lead to them reoccurring in the future, bringing us a similar pain -- possibly worse since we had the opportunity to absolve it in the first time. Practice mindfulness and embrace those feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may be. Work with them and through them, and learn as much as you can from the process.

You never take the time to stop and ask “why.”

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” -- Naguib Mahfouz

Ursula M. Staudinger, the director of the Robert. N. Butler Columbia Aging Center at Columbia University and a pioneer in wisdom studies, confirms that you cannot achieve personal wisdom without the ability to look beyond yourself. Take in the world on a grander scale and ponder why things are the way they are. You don’t need to be religious, spiritual or scientific -- just curious. “What’s necessary is a realization that there is reality beyond the here and now,” said Staudinger.

You’re a poor listener.

Just because you hear something doesn’t mean you’re listening. It can be an incredibly hard task that requires quite a lot of concentration, but when you do it, an inner creativity seems to inspire new thoughts and unexpected wisdom within yourself. To tap into this inner power you may or may not know you have, give people your undivided attention when they’re speaking to you. You will be amazed by its effects on both you and the other person.

You ignore your instincts.

A key part of personal wisdom is syncing your actions with your intuition. Whether you are fully aware of it in the moment or not, those “gut feelings” are your existing personal wisdom that link your ability to feel and reason. There may be a social stigma against using those hunches due to a lack of scientific evidence proving their validity, but it just may the tool you need to find that sense of balance you’ve been missing.

You don’t embrace the silence.

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” -- Plato

A recent study in Science revealed that 67 percent of men and 25 percent of women would rather give themselves electric shocks than sit still in silence and be present with their own thoughts. Ironically our modern culture of constant communication and stimulation makes silence feel incredibly unnatural and uncomfortable when that is prime state in which we can cultivate personal wisdom. Whether you call it meditation or not, take the time to sit alone with your wandering thoughts and explore where they lead you. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from yourself.

Article by Alena Hall

"6 Signs You're Not in Touch with your Inner Personal Wisdom (and How to Fix It)

Facts of Blueberries

It's a classic in summery fruit salads (not to mention one of our favorite year-round yogurt and oatmeal toppers), well known for its antioxidant prowess and low calorie count. But some of the blueberry's health benefits and fun facts aren't exactly common knowledge. Here are a few things to know about what just might be one of the most popular superfoods around.

1. Blueberries protect against memory loss.

A 2012 study suggested that eating at least one serving of blueberries a week slowed cognitive decline by several years. One possible explanation as to why came from a 2013 study in mice, which found that berries might protect the brain by clearing toxic proteins that accumulate there.

2. Maine produces more blueberries than anywhere else in the world.

At least, according to the University of Maine.

3. They can be used as a natural food dye.

And legend has it that early American colonists boiled them with milk to make gray paint, according to the Produce for Better Health Foundation's Fruits & Veggies More Matters campaign.

4. The perfect blueberry should be "dusty" in color.

5. But don't wash off that "dust" until you're ready to dig in.

A rinse softens your blueberries, which can quicken spoiling, according to the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center.

6. The blueberry bush is a relative of the rhododendron -- and the azalea.

And along more intuitive lines, also the cranberry.

7. Many blueberry-flavored processed foods do not contain any real blueberries.

Products like bagels, cereals, breads and muffins from brands like Kellogg's, Betty Crocker and General Mills were reported to use combos of sugar, corn syrup, starch, oil and artificial flavors and dyes to create their own mock blueberries, according to a 2011 Consumer Wellness Center investigation, the LA Times reported.

Article by Sara Klein

"7 Things that you probably did not know about Blueberries"

Tatia Pillieva

That initial awkwardness of kissing someone new...

A First Kiss between strangers....
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=kp&v=IpbDHxCV29A

Or, even more awkward....undressing each other...for the very first time....
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pKZa-Kb4Nng





"First Kiss" and "Undress Me"
by Tatia Pillieva
Georgian film maker and artistic innovator

Susan and her 98 Dates

I hate dating. There. I've said it. Let's be clear about the mechanics of this concept. Dating is only a flirtatious first sniff of what may later be mounted. No more, no less. And like the unwilling sled dog harnessed in line, my soul squirms at the thought of having to "put my best foot forward" to gain a man's sniff of approval.

Dating is the required presentational stage for a possible future interlude. For this very reason, I chafe at having to be "on point." I rail at the notion of being appealing, engaging and alluring.

There's a great myth that's been hoisted upon all women that "dating" is fun, and as women we should like it. I'm convinced it's a conspiracy crafted to guarantee an ongoing form of economic revenue, women are forced to buy new clothes and makeup while men are lured into exorbitant restaurants to prove their merit.

The dating experience is tedious on every level. The need to dress up, straighten my hair and wonder if I'm good enough feels like poison running through my veins. It reminds me of my summers at the Minnesota State Fair where I'd see local farmers parading their cows, pigs and horses in hopes of winning a Blue Ribbon.

I have a colleague who's a dating expert. She teaches the art of flirting in order to capture a man's attention. I don't want art. I want to meet a man organically in an environment where I can be myself and interact naturally.

I'd long been criticized for never having "officially dated." In an attempt to put this argument to rest, I decided to say "yes" to any agreeable man who asked me out. I had 98 dates in nine months.

Firstly, let me define my usage of the word "dating." I'm referring to the traditional meaning -- that of "courtship." Dating has now been construed to mean sexual hook-ups. I didn't sleep with 98 men. 98 men courted me.

I ate my way through every restaurant in Manhattan and spent far more time in Starbucks than any human who has their own WiFi. No less than three times a week I'd put on the same outfit (perhaps a little half-hearted on my part) and meet a new man for dinner or coffee. I sat. I listened. I ate. I drank.

At the end of my social experiment, here's what I learned. Men parade their toys while women serve as the cows, pigs and horses parading for our Blue Ribbon of acceptance. Men name-drop their friendships with celebrities and clarify their numerous positions of power and influence. They rattle off their trips in foreign cities, identify their cars by the manufacturer's name and list their homes by prestigious locations. They dangle their toys in front our eyes in the hopes that we'll bite the bait. Oddly, they're not the bait. Their possessions are the bait.

In the midst of their parade of toys, men yearn to see our eyes dilate with interest. They wait to hear the, "Ooohhhh, really?" And they too, hope they'll be worthy of our acceptance. This is why I hate dating. Now that I've done it, I'm even more certain I was correct in not doing it in the first place.

Is it possible to create a meaningful connection without the dog and pony show? Do we really need to sell ourselves on the auction block in order to gain affection? Can't one leapfrog past all this nonsense and move straight into partnership?

Yes. It's possible. I've bypassed all of this and done so. I've had real love and real connection. But I didn't date, per se. Not in this form. While I'd like to be able to date, I don't care enough to parade for a man's approval. I don't want to wait by the phone wondering if he'll call or obsess over what I said or didn't say on our meeting. And I absolutely refuse to lead with the "sex card." Though the most powerful form of bait... why flaunt the sex card when I don't yet know I want him? So he'll want me?

I've consistently found my own way to partnership without all this nonsense. I'm not brilliant. I don't have "game." But I know who I am. I love easily and effortlessly. I find more to admire in a man than not. I have few complaints as I see more of what's good in a man than what's bad. The men who've shared my life have moved easily from a first date (or initial meeting) to a natural form of ongoing connection. It's been fluid and comfortable.

Dating in today's world is more akin to an extreme sport. High-heeled women flaunt the sex card as they savagely stampede each other for a man's attention. Running with the bulls in Pamplona has never been on my bucket list. And after having tried my hand at 98 men, I can honestly say that I'm exhausted at the attempt.

So, while I've satisfied my friends and family with giving dating a fair shot, I still prefer the old-school method of connection where I'm just doing my thing and happen to meet someone special. Whether walking my dog or at the gym, I'm where I want to be while living the life I love. And we meet. Naturally. Organically. The spark we find serves as our connection. We merge.

Article by Susan Winter
Best Selling Author and Relationship Expert
"9 Months, 98 Men.  Here is What I Learned."

George Says

Just because the monkey is off your back...

D
O
E
S

not mean that

T

H

E

Circus has left the town!

Ps
My trip to China (thus far) has been fun, somewhat interesting and slightly flavored with a little laughter....
I swear, some Asians act as if they have never seen a white man before...
Plus, isn't it funny how white Anglo Saxons of the Americas would tattoo Chinese characters on their bodies...?
And even funnier how Asians Tattoo English words on theirs?

The World's Smallest Violin

Just for you.

Sincerely,
Your Karma

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V4sbYy0WdGQ

Guess Where I Will be?

if you don't know, let me enlighten you....

Tomorrow is my day.  A day that I have waited for quite some time.  Time that seemed to pass on by ever so slowly...and all of the sudden, rushed onward with a ferrous push...where did all the time tick on by?
I try and I crowd my mind with thoughts, ideas and game plans...but, all in all, I think of nothing...no real ideas or plans...I'm just jumping right in and flying to China...the country that has censored my blog (this blog).  If I am such a criminal, here is the chance that the Chinese government has in arresting or detaining me.  I will be traveling with the Chang, Wang and Chew families.  Good luck in finding me (well, in all actuality...I am going to stick out like a sore thumb)....god am I going to look funny to the Chinese.  Tall, white and muscular.  Who knows what they will think about this white boy!
(Remember People...We Are NOT here to judge One another)
The month of July will come and go, and my life will be charmed and endeared with a series of new experiences and lessons.  Hopefully all come with a positive result.
I do think that at some point that I will swim with sharks at the Pulau Payar Marine Park...
Perhaps we can meet up there?  On the other side of the world?