Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Vogue this Rage
I really enjoyed reading your stated thoughts tonight...because it presents you as a real person, versus just words on my iPad. It made me feel as if I was sitting next to you...and you are talking...venting to me. I felt the pulse of your tone, and an uncertainty in your direction.
You are right.
I am drawn to chaos.
I am calm.
and I know/understand your dilemma.
Here is a small little fact...and if you believe in chance playing a role is fates...well...listen to this.
Back in September,
Yes as in three months ago...
My buddy books/finalizes a trip, planned for next week...
I had casually discuss with him, crashing it...not truly considering encroaching upon his vacation, but I had romanticized the whole nation as a last minute getaway... he didn't seem to mind including me in his plans. After all, it was all theoretical on my end.
Where is headed?
Dallas.
My dinner tonight. Steamed veggies, some garlic shrimp and brown rice.
2003 Chianti Classico, Reserva
Ruffino Ducale
I ate alone, and a bit saddened by this world.
It seems to reward those least worthy of rewards...
Meanwhile, black balling those who deserve good, strong opportunities.
Tonight is a night, that I wish I coud just hide from...and I don't care where...
It boils my blood, and the Spartan in me just wants to wreck havoc...
The Stoic philosopher debating the Spartan argues for chance and patience.
...
It's a debate alright, one in which offers no stable and acceptable immediate solutions.
I wish fairy tales existed with storybook endings...
I also wished that people weren't so rude, obnoxious and greedy...
How good would I be if others were patient and forgiving?
I really wished
Above All Else
that People would fully Undertand the effect of their words and actions...
and once they understood And felt them...would they still use them?
I am not crying, I don't even know if I can...
But I feel my heart...
Heavy as cement...
and no one seems to care enough
To Stop, and Help
Lift that burden
and
Free my spirit
Marriage Can Suck...Sometimes
I just celebrated 15 years of marriage this December 19. It is hard for me to believe that I have survived 15 years of living with another person. A person who has the memory of an elephant and can whip out (and quite often does) something I've done in the past that even I don't remember. A person who has seen me at my complete worst -- a 170-pound, two weeks overdue pregnant woman who would do just about anything to induce labor and coerced him into getting close with me in the biblical sense to get my water to break. (Talk about taking one for the team, eh?!)
But this marriage is so much more. Our marriage has transformed me in ways that are hard to articulate, but it has mostly been my safe haven. My marriage has wrapped me in a cocoon of unconditional love -- and has on occasion saved me from drowning in a sea of pity and self-doubt. My marriage is the partnership I wished for and while it is no where NEAR perfect, it is mine and I cherish it. And in honor of my 15th wedding anniversary, I give you 15 reasons why being married doesn't always suck:
1. You always have someone to answer the question, "Does this dress make my butt look big?"
2. When your mother calls you and reminds you why you should feel guilty about something you did when you were 12 years old, you have a spouse to TALK YOU OFF THE LEDGE.
3. When you feel like eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's after a particularly crappy day, you will have someone to grab that spoon away and save you from yourself.
4. Hopefully, it means you don't have to worry about catching a "social disease."
5. You have someone who HAS to be your plus one at obligatory functions.
6. When your kid finally eats veggies, you have someone to call and share the news with who is genuinely as excited as you are.
7. When your dog finally poops after several days of being constipated, you have someone who is just as THRILLED as you are.
8. You have someone to share your love of The Godfather trilogy with -- and who will gladly cancel any other plans to watch an all-day marathon.
9. At 3:30 a.m. when you can't sleep, you have someone to watch "The Honeymooner's" reruns with.
10. No matter how wretched you feel, they will hold your hair back while you put your head in the toilet bowl.
11. They will always remember to get you your maxi pads with wings.
12. They will screen your calls and tell whats-his-face that you are not home when you are really just sitting on the couch catching up on last week's "American Horror Story."
13. They will tell you that "under NO certain terms" will they walk your dog when it is freezing cold outside, and then, when it is freezing cold outside, they will indeed walk the dog.
14. You have someone that will think it is totally adorable that you cry during commercials.
15. They will see you at your absolute worst, and will love you through it (no matter how many times you tell them it is their fault that you have to have a C-section).
article by Melissa Chapman
"15 Reasons Why Being Married Doesn't Suck"
But this marriage is so much more. Our marriage has transformed me in ways that are hard to articulate, but it has mostly been my safe haven. My marriage has wrapped me in a cocoon of unconditional love -- and has on occasion saved me from drowning in a sea of pity and self-doubt. My marriage is the partnership I wished for and while it is no where NEAR perfect, it is mine and I cherish it. And in honor of my 15th wedding anniversary, I give you 15 reasons why being married doesn't always suck:
1. You always have someone to answer the question, "Does this dress make my butt look big?"
2. When your mother calls you and reminds you why you should feel guilty about something you did when you were 12 years old, you have a spouse to TALK YOU OFF THE LEDGE.
3. When you feel like eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's after a particularly crappy day, you will have someone to grab that spoon away and save you from yourself.
4. Hopefully, it means you don't have to worry about catching a "social disease."
5. You have someone who HAS to be your plus one at obligatory functions.
6. When your kid finally eats veggies, you have someone to call and share the news with who is genuinely as excited as you are.
7. When your dog finally poops after several days of being constipated, you have someone who is just as THRILLED as you are.
8. You have someone to share your love of The Godfather trilogy with -- and who will gladly cancel any other plans to watch an all-day marathon.
9. At 3:30 a.m. when you can't sleep, you have someone to watch "The Honeymooner's" reruns with.
10. No matter how wretched you feel, they will hold your hair back while you put your head in the toilet bowl.
11. They will always remember to get you your maxi pads with wings.
12. They will screen your calls and tell whats-his-face that you are not home when you are really just sitting on the couch catching up on last week's "American Horror Story."
13. They will tell you that "under NO certain terms" will they walk your dog when it is freezing cold outside, and then, when it is freezing cold outside, they will indeed walk the dog.
14. You have someone that will think it is totally adorable that you cry during commercials.
15. They will see you at your absolute worst, and will love you through it (no matter how many times you tell them it is their fault that you have to have a C-section).
article by Melissa Chapman
"15 Reasons Why Being Married Doesn't Suck"
Friday, December 20, 2013
Single Women and the Holidays
For all the single ladies out there, the holidays can be an especially tough time of year, especially when it comes to handling those family/friends/work holiday parties that you'll be attending stag. To prepare for the inevitable, let's go over some strong defensive tactics to use when faced with the dreaded 'singleton' inquiries.
Aunt Dottie Asks: What Happened to Whatshisname? I thought you two were really serious!
Defensive Play of Choice: The Redirect - Similar to those tips you hear regarding job interviews, relatives, like bosses, LOVE talking about themselves. To avoid telling Aunt Dottie the messy saga of how your ex is now dating your ex-best friend, ask her about a topic that sparks her hobbies or interests instead.
It just didn't work out, right now I'm focusing on friends and family. Speaking of which, how's your cooking class going? I remember how excited you were to sign up for it!
Your Friend Who is Newly Dating Someone You Don't Like: What do you think of Whatshisname?
Defensive Play of Choice: The Sandwich Move - The Sandwich move is when you are trying to criticize someone in the nicest way possible. Give a positive comment, followed by a less positive, more constructive comment, and end with a positive one. Is it brutally honest? No, but it's the holidays, do you really want to get into that over your eggnog? Keep things light and fun and save the intervention for January when everyone's miserable anyway.
I love his fashion style! He seems a bit ambitious, but the fact that he's so goal-oriented is really something!
The most common/painfully obvious question: Why Are You Single?
Defensive Play of Choice: Depends on the Offense - This question is all about its inflection and the person asking the question.
If your 90-year-old grandmother is asking you when you're going to settle down, it might be better to respond with something like this:
I'm working on it Grandma, but I'm happy with a lot of other areas of my life right now. I'm sure it will happen soon!
If your mother or sister who's happily married asks: Remember, they're still your family, and while honesty is respectable, don't make a big deal of it. Keep it short, positive and sweet! You know the question is coming, just answer it and move on.
Honestly Mom (or whoever), I'm really focusing on myself right now. My job (or whatever's positive in your life) is really taking off and I'm really excited for that. As soon as I meet someone, you'll be the first to know!
If, however, it's your nosy, rude uncle, a jerky co-worker or an old frenemy from high school that you bump into at the bar, feel free to respond in anyway you'd like. If someone's going to be that blunt with their question to you (which trust me, they will be), then you should feel completely comfortable with answering anyway you please. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
I'm doing one of those eat, pray, love things, except just with eating and drinking.
My fiancé ran off with my cousin.
I'm celibate.
I just bought a turtle and he's taking up the majority of my time right now.
Too many people I know rushed into a relationship, so I'm trying to avoid repeating their mistakes.
Because let's face it, they're just rude.
Your Cousin with Four Bajillion Kids after her fourth glass of Merlot says: You're SOOO lucky to be single!
Defensive Play of Choice: Compliance - It's the holidays, so give your preoccupied and overwhelmed cousin the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she might be taking her own luck for granted, but when it comes down to it, there are a lot of great things about being single, especially during the holidays! So if she's going to say it, why not agree with her?
I know, right? No stress about what to get my boyfriend or kids, in fact my biggest concern this holiday is running low on eggnog!
Because let's be honest, after spending the holidays surrounded by your friends and family, you might actually enjoy your independence come January.
Article by Christina Kelly
"How to Play (Single) Defense This Holiday Season"
Follow Christina Kelly on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ckelly26
Aunt Dottie Asks: What Happened to Whatshisname? I thought you two were really serious!
Defensive Play of Choice: The Redirect - Similar to those tips you hear regarding job interviews, relatives, like bosses, LOVE talking about themselves. To avoid telling Aunt Dottie the messy saga of how your ex is now dating your ex-best friend, ask her about a topic that sparks her hobbies or interests instead.
It just didn't work out, right now I'm focusing on friends and family. Speaking of which, how's your cooking class going? I remember how excited you were to sign up for it!
Your Friend Who is Newly Dating Someone You Don't Like: What do you think of Whatshisname?
Defensive Play of Choice: The Sandwich Move - The Sandwich move is when you are trying to criticize someone in the nicest way possible. Give a positive comment, followed by a less positive, more constructive comment, and end with a positive one. Is it brutally honest? No, but it's the holidays, do you really want to get into that over your eggnog? Keep things light and fun and save the intervention for January when everyone's miserable anyway.
I love his fashion style! He seems a bit ambitious, but the fact that he's so goal-oriented is really something!
The most common/painfully obvious question: Why Are You Single?
Defensive Play of Choice: Depends on the Offense - This question is all about its inflection and the person asking the question.
If your 90-year-old grandmother is asking you when you're going to settle down, it might be better to respond with something like this:
I'm working on it Grandma, but I'm happy with a lot of other areas of my life right now. I'm sure it will happen soon!
If your mother or sister who's happily married asks: Remember, they're still your family, and while honesty is respectable, don't make a big deal of it. Keep it short, positive and sweet! You know the question is coming, just answer it and move on.
Honestly Mom (or whoever), I'm really focusing on myself right now. My job (or whatever's positive in your life) is really taking off and I'm really excited for that. As soon as I meet someone, you'll be the first to know!
If, however, it's your nosy, rude uncle, a jerky co-worker or an old frenemy from high school that you bump into at the bar, feel free to respond in anyway you'd like. If someone's going to be that blunt with their question to you (which trust me, they will be), then you should feel completely comfortable with answering anyway you please. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
I'm doing one of those eat, pray, love things, except just with eating and drinking.
My fiancé ran off with my cousin.
I'm celibate.
I just bought a turtle and he's taking up the majority of my time right now.
Too many people I know rushed into a relationship, so I'm trying to avoid repeating their mistakes.
Because let's face it, they're just rude.
Your Cousin with Four Bajillion Kids after her fourth glass of Merlot says: You're SOOO lucky to be single!
Defensive Play of Choice: Compliance - It's the holidays, so give your preoccupied and overwhelmed cousin the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she might be taking her own luck for granted, but when it comes down to it, there are a lot of great things about being single, especially during the holidays! So if she's going to say it, why not agree with her?
I know, right? No stress about what to get my boyfriend or kids, in fact my biggest concern this holiday is running low on eggnog!
Because let's be honest, after spending the holidays surrounded by your friends and family, you might actually enjoy your independence come January.
Article by Christina Kelly
"How to Play (Single) Defense This Holiday Season"
Follow Christina Kelly on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ckelly26
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Be My Victim
You are the Queen of my desire...
Existing,
Residing within my manic secret...
A wickedly vivid lustful domain,
Uninhibited
Trapped beyond my mortal voice...
Imprisoning not only my body...but the moans of my mind
Thirsty for my soul....
Draining my blood,
Devouring my flesh and bone...
Leaving me in a mound of dust
...
My touch...
My rough, yet ever so gentle touch
Gliding, stroking, caressing
Your body
My squeeze...
You feel my power,
My dominance
It addicts you...
The pleasure,
The pain,
The luxury
...my immortal physical decadence
Captivating,
Mesmerizing....
Allure
You want,
You need...
My touch,
My allure...
My glamour,
My persuasion...
You need to feel me...
My prowess,
My enchantment...
Let me seduce you...
Be my victim,
And let me Prove
that I am Of Flesh, Blood and your Lust
S
S
U
C
C
U
M
B
to Me
....I promise ....
Online Dating Tips
A little bit over eight months ago, I was twirling around the city thinking I had a grip on being single. Answering my friends, who would ask the same question as my mom, since you're like perpetually, always, really single, have you thought about trying online dating?
NO.
It was one of those quick no's that are rare exceptions to our usually indecisive and over analytic minds. Kind of like when Time Warner asks you if you're okay with them transferring you to someone else, which will mean you'll have to be placed on hold, again, for 45 minutes.
No. No. No.
Okay, fine. I thought about it. But I wasn't convinced that I should set up a profile and write some witty jargon to try to sell myself to a pool of guys over the Internet. It would be like creating an advertisement for a billboard in Times Square, except instead of a million tourists gawking at it, strange men would be. But, I was having a hard time meeting people the other way, partially because I spent too much time working and partially because I had grown hostile to meeting guys at bars who were three tequila shots in and slurring their words while petting my hair.
A month later, I had a profile up on JDate.
Online dating wouldn't be so bad if people just spoke to each other like humans. As if they were meeting in person for the first time. If I was at a bookstore and a guy wanted to approach me to say hello or get my attention, if he said something like, "Sup Cutie. You fine," and followed it up with a wink face, I'd be confused, embarrassed, and ultimately walk away. If he said something simple, something that's not forced or creepy, something as blasé as, "Hey, what book are you reading?" he'd get my attention and along with that, my response.
But instead, guys are sending messages like this one that I received a week ago:
I think it's only fair that I give you full disclosure... I'm an asshole 0=)
That's what this guy by the username The Goblin sent me as a first message, as if that even warrants a response. Was he thinking I'd reply back with a "PLEASE take me out. You sound like a lovely, respectable human being"?
Or one that I received last night:
You're 5"6 too tall for me, sorry.
If you want to be a successful online dater, stop with these kinds of messages:
1. One Word To Rule It All
Sample messages: "Hey," "Yo," "Sup."
They looked at your profile. Not really. They looked at your gallery of photos, liked what they saw, didn't have enough time, or energy, or a need to read anything about you so they just send you one word.
2. I Hope Your Looks Don't Lie
Sample messages: "Yo. You're hot. That really you in those pics? Hope you not Catfishin' me."'; "If you can talk as good as you look, I may be in love."
3. Misused Punctuation
Sample messages: ";)" ":-@"
When's the last time you actually winked at a real, live, girl? I hope the answer is never.
4. Copy-Paste
Sample message: "Hey, Marissa. A little about me: I'm from Long Island and I used to play football. I like to go out with friends on weekends, but I also don't mind staying home and watching a good movie, with some good company. You look like someone I'd like to get to know better. Do you agree?"
If you're lucky, like I always am, they will even forget to change the name on the message and you'll receive one written to a Marissa or a Francesca when your name is Jen.
5. Misery Looking For Company
Sample message: "I'm not a fan of online dating, but I figure I'd give it a try." "How's JDate working out for you? I don't want to do this but my mom paid for my account and pesters me every day about it to make sure she's getting her money's worth."
6. What Did You Just Ask Me?
Sample messages: "Other than your looks, what are three things you've got going for you?" "If you were on Jeopardy, what would be your 30 second speech when Alex Trebek interviews you?"
K.I.S.S
Keep it simple, short.
Article
by Jen Glantz
"How to Meet the Right One Online"
NO.
It was one of those quick no's that are rare exceptions to our usually indecisive and over analytic minds. Kind of like when Time Warner asks you if you're okay with them transferring you to someone else, which will mean you'll have to be placed on hold, again, for 45 minutes.
No. No. No.
Okay, fine. I thought about it. But I wasn't convinced that I should set up a profile and write some witty jargon to try to sell myself to a pool of guys over the Internet. It would be like creating an advertisement for a billboard in Times Square, except instead of a million tourists gawking at it, strange men would be. But, I was having a hard time meeting people the other way, partially because I spent too much time working and partially because I had grown hostile to meeting guys at bars who were three tequila shots in and slurring their words while petting my hair.
A month later, I had a profile up on JDate.
Online dating wouldn't be so bad if people just spoke to each other like humans. As if they were meeting in person for the first time. If I was at a bookstore and a guy wanted to approach me to say hello or get my attention, if he said something like, "Sup Cutie. You fine," and followed it up with a wink face, I'd be confused, embarrassed, and ultimately walk away. If he said something simple, something that's not forced or creepy, something as blasé as, "Hey, what book are you reading?" he'd get my attention and along with that, my response.
But instead, guys are sending messages like this one that I received a week ago:
I think it's only fair that I give you full disclosure... I'm an asshole 0=)
That's what this guy by the username The Goblin sent me as a first message, as if that even warrants a response. Was he thinking I'd reply back with a "PLEASE take me out. You sound like a lovely, respectable human being"?
Or one that I received last night:
You're 5"6 too tall for me, sorry.
If you want to be a successful online dater, stop with these kinds of messages:
1. One Word To Rule It All
Sample messages: "Hey," "Yo," "Sup."
They looked at your profile. Not really. They looked at your gallery of photos, liked what they saw, didn't have enough time, or energy, or a need to read anything about you so they just send you one word.
2. I Hope Your Looks Don't Lie
Sample messages: "Yo. You're hot. That really you in those pics? Hope you not Catfishin' me."'; "If you can talk as good as you look, I may be in love."
3. Misused Punctuation
Sample messages: ";)" ":-@"
When's the last time you actually winked at a real, live, girl? I hope the answer is never.
4. Copy-Paste
Sample message: "Hey, Marissa. A little about me: I'm from Long Island and I used to play football. I like to go out with friends on weekends, but I also don't mind staying home and watching a good movie, with some good company. You look like someone I'd like to get to know better. Do you agree?"
If you're lucky, like I always am, they will even forget to change the name on the message and you'll receive one written to a Marissa or a Francesca when your name is Jen.
5. Misery Looking For Company
Sample message: "I'm not a fan of online dating, but I figure I'd give it a try." "How's JDate working out for you? I don't want to do this but my mom paid for my account and pesters me every day about it to make sure she's getting her money's worth."
6. What Did You Just Ask Me?
Sample messages: "Other than your looks, what are three things you've got going for you?" "If you were on Jeopardy, what would be your 30 second speech when Alex Trebek interviews you?"
K.I.S.S
Keep it simple, short.
Article
by Jen Glantz
"How to Meet the Right One Online"
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Darkness
Darkness
I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires—and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings—the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consum'd,
And men were gather'd round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forests were set on fire—but hour by hour
They fell and faded—and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash—and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smil'd;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and look'd up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd
And twin'd themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless—they were slain for food.
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again: a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought—and that was death
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails—men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devour'd,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lur'd their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan,
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answer'd not with a caress—he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies: they met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
For an unholy usage; they rak'd up,
And shivering scrap'd with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Which was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld
Each other's aspects—saw, and shriek'd, and died—
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,
The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless—
A lump of death—a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge—
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before;
The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them—She was the Universe.
Cats Love to Play
I'm just like any other Large Cat,
Playful in the heart...
Just a bit too rough...
Gorgeous, seductive and unattainable....
But I do purr when in company of perfection
A sleek hunter
Hiding in the shadows...
Ready to pounce
or
Play
With my prey
Come, come and join me...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7NM26USOKc&feature=youtube...
Playful in the heart...
Just a bit too rough...
Gorgeous, seductive and unattainable....
But I do purr when in company of perfection
A sleek hunter
Hiding in the shadows...
Ready to pounce
or
Play
With my prey
Come, come and join me...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7NM26USOKc&feature=youtube...
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Disguised Inhibitions
Where there lies a spirit, you will find This story of substance...
In a history so rich and colorful, even story tellers build on the myths and truths and pass them as acts and facts.
What i know as fact, is your luster...your glow...like a rare jewel
You draw all hearts and all eyes
To an untold hidden story
Too grandiose to comprehended by simple minds and shallow hearts
....
Yet,
We play their game...
By their rules...
and run this course,
On The Same old Loop...a finish line no further, nor any different...than the first or last...
We Huff and Puff...and blow down their sails...to drown their dainty hopes in an avalanche of desire, passion and persuasion...
Welcome to a verdict
In flight of Intense Emotion
Too deep of a rush to explain...too Manic to experience without
Conviction,
Restitution,
Resolution
or
Gumption
Meet...meet my envy, meet my demise
Your tender touch, your sweet surrender
You are my tragic flaw...a weakness exposed
Feel the fight,
endure the ultimate thirst
I urge fate
To be forgiving, tasteful and fair
I beg destiny
To share my faith
To an unspoken Grace
F
O
R
G
I
V
E
and divide
Those that cleave and deceive an immaculate chance
Meant to be discovered
I urged, I begged, I forgave...
I fled, I cried, I defied and denounced all my chances
To meet my faithful grace and live a dream of dreams
Intended to solve the sky's hypnotic eyes
Who keep close watch
On both, you and I
Florence and the Machine
"Cosmic Love"
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2EIeUlvHAiM
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2EIeUlvHAiM
Monday, December 16, 2013
The Death of Dusk
(Sunrise)
Shadows fade into a past of darkness
Corners and walls fill in those voids in time and space
Bridges grow, willing walks over talks that once were
Skies expand, and the Earth grows solid
Cold, white flesh...slowly begins to simmer and brim Red
Echoes turn to shouts
Frost melts within the brisk air
I see the light...I see this world
It has a way, it has substance
It has dimension, it has a backbone
and a direction for me to go
With a purpose and a plan...
I was almost fooled,
But, then I saw with my own sight...
As midnight slowly died, opening the heavens
To an incandescent Orange glow
Showing an unfiltered,
Unadulterated beauty without night's ugly fight.
Apollo's Star, gleams bright....sharing truths and delight
Whereas in the witching hour...
The moon hides my path,
Confuses my mind
Seduces my soul...
The night deceives me,
It outright lies...in attempt
To swallow me Whole
With,
All my hopes, all my dreams...
For all to see that I ceased
and Never Existed
Whisked to a Neverland
Erased....
Forgotten like an ill fated dream
Shadows fade into a past of darkness
Corners and walls fill in those voids in time and space
Bridges grow, willing walks over talks that once were
Skies expand, and the Earth grows solid
Cold, white flesh...slowly begins to simmer and brim Red
Echoes turn to shouts
Frost melts within the brisk air
I see the light...I see this world
It has a way, it has substance
It has dimension, it has a backbone
and a direction for me to go
With a purpose and a plan...
I was almost fooled,
But, then I saw with my own sight...
As midnight slowly died, opening the heavens
To an incandescent Orange glow
Showing an unfiltered,
Unadulterated beauty without night's ugly fight.
Apollo's Star, gleams bright....sharing truths and delight
Whereas in the witching hour...
The moon hides my path,
Confuses my mind
Seduces my soul...
The night deceives me,
It outright lies...in attempt
To swallow me Whole
With,
All my hopes, all my dreams...
For all to see that I ceased
and Never Existed
Whisked to a Neverland
Erased....
Forgotten like an ill fated dream
Vogue and Rage
I have been plagued by a beautiful disaster,
imprisoned by these bedazzling Green Eyes...
Bewitched beyond Recognition,
Completely and forever
Lost in a sparkling radiance....
Entranced,
Seduced,
Mesmerized
and
Enchanted
by Their Dominance...
My mind, spirals through grief and panic
Ultimately yielding to a weakness of
pleasure and delight
Starved for attention, deprived of affection
My unwavering appetite,
Glistens in a ethereal flame that ignites
A common passion
Void of reason and chance
Convicted to an unforgiving Purgatory...
that holds No grievance, and shares No Treasures
Just Harbors words of consequence, treason and insensitivities
Over lustful Impulses and obsessions
I surrender my soul...
Keys in hand,
Eager to taste my desired freedom...
Be my guide...be my maiden vessel
Take me to my undisclosed paradise
Free Me...free my soul
Feed my pride
Forgive my trespass
I
am
my own worst victim
Lost
Condemned
Deprived
and by chance,
Liberated from of my Own Confinement
imprisoned by these bedazzling Green Eyes...
Bewitched beyond Recognition,
Completely and forever
Lost in a sparkling radiance....
Entranced,
Seduced,
Mesmerized
and
Enchanted
by Their Dominance...
My mind, spirals through grief and panic
Ultimately yielding to a weakness of
pleasure and delight
Starved for attention, deprived of affection
My unwavering appetite,
Glistens in a ethereal flame that ignites
A common passion
Void of reason and chance
Convicted to an unforgiving Purgatory...
that holds No grievance, and shares No Treasures
Just Harbors words of consequence, treason and insensitivities
Over lustful Impulses and obsessions
I surrender my soul...
Keys in hand,
Eager to taste my desired freedom...
Be my guide...be my maiden vessel
Take me to my undisclosed paradise
Free Me...free my soul
Feed my pride
Forgive my trespass
I
am
my own worst victim
Lost
Condemned
Deprived
and by chance,
Liberated from of my Own Confinement
The Death of Weddings
For the record, I hate weddings. So don't invite me!
Please :)
How would life be without weddings?
Val will tell us....
In the past week, a snapshot has gone viral of three girls on a couch showing off their engagement rings while a fourth girl holds her fingers like a gun to her head. I feel her pain.
My second year of law school at Berkeley, when I was broke beyond compare, I was in three weddings -- one in Indiana, one in Chicago and one in Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii. I have completely lost touch with two of those brides, and am merely Facebook friends with the third, and for the record, none of them are still married. In fact, of the seven weddings in which I've stood up beside the bride, only two of the marriages have lasted.
Hey, can I have back the thousands of dollars I spent being in your weddings? Because the wedding really is the problem, or more precisely, the desire for a wedding.
If you search Wikipedia for "Wedding Television Shows," you get 32 results. Thirty-two television shows about weddings! About dresses and cakes and venues and bridezillas, venerating the practice of spending more than the cost of a year's education or a house downpayment on a party.
I look at the girls in the picture described above (and I use the word "girls" deliberately), and I feel sorry for them that their engagements have already been so marred by the ubiquity of this photo, but I also can't help but wonder if all of the varied responses might help each one stop and ask whether she's ready to be a wife, or merely ready to be a bride. Because there is an enormous difference.
Imagine for a moment if weddings were prohibited, or better yet, if you could only have one after 10 years of marriage. How much money would be saved? More importantly, how many ill-advised unions would never happen in the first place? I swear, weddings are the leading cause of divorce. If some girl wasn't fulfilling her childhood fantasy of being a princess, holding court in the perfect gown with the perfect hair and perfect flowers, on a day dedicated solely to celebrating her ability to land a man, how much more effort would she put into finding the right mate, since the reward for doing so would be a lifetime together, rather than a coronation?
And what if, as a society, we celebrated other milestones instead? Wouldn't it be amazing if college graduations were given the wedding treatment? If the commencement ceremony included a $3,000 dress and a $70-a-plate dinner for friends and family who came in from all over the country? Photographers, flowers, dancing, a band? "You've got to see my graduation video. It was so beautiful!" What would be the outcome if little girls had 32 television shows to watch about that? Would that give them something else to aspire to? To dream about?
Which leads to the subject of baby showers. Not all baby showers. Most baby showers are lovely, but can we please end baby showers for teen moms? These, too, make the guest of honor "Queen for a Day," with no regard to the hard work that follows. These, too, send the message that getting pregnant is the pinnacle of achievement, as opposed to the beginning of 18 years of hard labor.
I've been to a handful of these showers, and the unmistakable fact is that the guest list is mostly other teenage girls, all cooing and fawning over their corpulent friend or cousin, shrieking excitedly as they present her with the beautiful bassinet that they all pitched in for, ignoring the fact that the endeavor she is embarking on will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and stunt her career opportunities for the rest of her life, not to mention the devastating impact on her social life.
I used to live in a very blue collar part of Oakland, California where there were more baby showers than graduation parties. One family who I was very close to had four daughters. The three oldest got pregnant before graduating from high school and dropped out, and the fourth was hell bent on getting her college education.
For the three oldest girls, there were big, splashy baby showers with thousands of dollars in gifts. For the fourth, she was sent off to Santa Monica College (a vortex of collegiate Darwinism) with little fanfare and virtually no help. Where was her College Shower, to give her a laptop, a bookbag, sheets and towels, gift cards and cash and whatever else she might have needed to strike out on her own? Where was the whole family coming together to lionize her achievement, and set an example for younger ones of how you're revered when you further your education? No wonder she got pregnant and dropped out her freshman year. That was something at least she knew her family would celebrate.
It makes me wonder what our world would look like if female accomplishments other than becoming a wife and mother were equally exalted. If we had First Job Showers, gifting briefcases and business suits, or Promotion Ceremonies, with hundreds of guests flying in to commemorate a woman's move to the C-suites. How about teen entrepreneur shows, instead of six (six!) different television shows about teen moms, which makes some girls want to get pregnant, so they can get on TV?
I'm all for marriage. I've spent the last five years working for everyone's right to marriage. Being married has been one of the greatest joys of my life, but we had exactly one guest plus the officiant at our wedding, and seven years later, I have pretty much the happiest marriage of anyone I know, with the possible exception of our one wedding guest.
However, I still felt the need to fulfill the fantasy, so a year after exchanging vows, we had a big reception for 125 of our closest family and friends. No band, no DJ, no cake, just a nice dinner with an open bar, and I did wear a wedding dress, because I knew it would be my one and only chance. It was fine, but if I'm being honest, there were better ways to spend $15,000.
Celebrations are a huge, important part of life, but the worst mistake a girl can make is to enter into a lifetime commitment just to get a party. The husband and the baby are around long after all the guests go home, so you'd better be ready for that part of it. Here's a tip: if you're demanding an engagement ring for Christmas, chances are you aren't ready to be married (and he certainly isn't).
Try to make the life decisions your 37-year-old self would want you to make, not the ones the seven-year-old you fantasized about. Want the marriage, knowing all that it will demand of you. Want the child, realizing that her needs will come first for the next 20 years. Choose the man who will take care of the laundry and change the baby's diapers when you've got the flu, rather than the one who spent a month choreographing his proposal so that the video of it would go viral. Understand what you're getting into and put your energy into planning your union, not planning your wedding. That's the key to a happy marriage and a happy life.
"Let's Ban Weddings and, While We're at It, Baby Showers Too"
Article by Valerie Alexander, author of
"Happiness as a Second Language"
Please :)
How would life be without weddings?
Val will tell us....
In the past week, a snapshot has gone viral of three girls on a couch showing off their engagement rings while a fourth girl holds her fingers like a gun to her head. I feel her pain.
My second year of law school at Berkeley, when I was broke beyond compare, I was in three weddings -- one in Indiana, one in Chicago and one in Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii. I have completely lost touch with two of those brides, and am merely Facebook friends with the third, and for the record, none of them are still married. In fact, of the seven weddings in which I've stood up beside the bride, only two of the marriages have lasted.
Hey, can I have back the thousands of dollars I spent being in your weddings? Because the wedding really is the problem, or more precisely, the desire for a wedding.
If you search Wikipedia for "Wedding Television Shows," you get 32 results. Thirty-two television shows about weddings! About dresses and cakes and venues and bridezillas, venerating the practice of spending more than the cost of a year's education or a house downpayment on a party.
I look at the girls in the picture described above (and I use the word "girls" deliberately), and I feel sorry for them that their engagements have already been so marred by the ubiquity of this photo, but I also can't help but wonder if all of the varied responses might help each one stop and ask whether she's ready to be a wife, or merely ready to be a bride. Because there is an enormous difference.
Imagine for a moment if weddings were prohibited, or better yet, if you could only have one after 10 years of marriage. How much money would be saved? More importantly, how many ill-advised unions would never happen in the first place? I swear, weddings are the leading cause of divorce. If some girl wasn't fulfilling her childhood fantasy of being a princess, holding court in the perfect gown with the perfect hair and perfect flowers, on a day dedicated solely to celebrating her ability to land a man, how much more effort would she put into finding the right mate, since the reward for doing so would be a lifetime together, rather than a coronation?
And what if, as a society, we celebrated other milestones instead? Wouldn't it be amazing if college graduations were given the wedding treatment? If the commencement ceremony included a $3,000 dress and a $70-a-plate dinner for friends and family who came in from all over the country? Photographers, flowers, dancing, a band? "You've got to see my graduation video. It was so beautiful!" What would be the outcome if little girls had 32 television shows to watch about that? Would that give them something else to aspire to? To dream about?
Which leads to the subject of baby showers. Not all baby showers. Most baby showers are lovely, but can we please end baby showers for teen moms? These, too, make the guest of honor "Queen for a Day," with no regard to the hard work that follows. These, too, send the message that getting pregnant is the pinnacle of achievement, as opposed to the beginning of 18 years of hard labor.
I've been to a handful of these showers, and the unmistakable fact is that the guest list is mostly other teenage girls, all cooing and fawning over their corpulent friend or cousin, shrieking excitedly as they present her with the beautiful bassinet that they all pitched in for, ignoring the fact that the endeavor she is embarking on will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and stunt her career opportunities for the rest of her life, not to mention the devastating impact on her social life.
I used to live in a very blue collar part of Oakland, California where there were more baby showers than graduation parties. One family who I was very close to had four daughters. The three oldest got pregnant before graduating from high school and dropped out, and the fourth was hell bent on getting her college education.
For the three oldest girls, there were big, splashy baby showers with thousands of dollars in gifts. For the fourth, she was sent off to Santa Monica College (a vortex of collegiate Darwinism) with little fanfare and virtually no help. Where was her College Shower, to give her a laptop, a bookbag, sheets and towels, gift cards and cash and whatever else she might have needed to strike out on her own? Where was the whole family coming together to lionize her achievement, and set an example for younger ones of how you're revered when you further your education? No wonder she got pregnant and dropped out her freshman year. That was something at least she knew her family would celebrate.
It makes me wonder what our world would look like if female accomplishments other than becoming a wife and mother were equally exalted. If we had First Job Showers, gifting briefcases and business suits, or Promotion Ceremonies, with hundreds of guests flying in to commemorate a woman's move to the C-suites. How about teen entrepreneur shows, instead of six (six!) different television shows about teen moms, which makes some girls want to get pregnant, so they can get on TV?
I'm all for marriage. I've spent the last five years working for everyone's right to marriage. Being married has been one of the greatest joys of my life, but we had exactly one guest plus the officiant at our wedding, and seven years later, I have pretty much the happiest marriage of anyone I know, with the possible exception of our one wedding guest.
However, I still felt the need to fulfill the fantasy, so a year after exchanging vows, we had a big reception for 125 of our closest family and friends. No band, no DJ, no cake, just a nice dinner with an open bar, and I did wear a wedding dress, because I knew it would be my one and only chance. It was fine, but if I'm being honest, there were better ways to spend $15,000.
Celebrations are a huge, important part of life, but the worst mistake a girl can make is to enter into a lifetime commitment just to get a party. The husband and the baby are around long after all the guests go home, so you'd better be ready for that part of it. Here's a tip: if you're demanding an engagement ring for Christmas, chances are you aren't ready to be married (and he certainly isn't).
Try to make the life decisions your 37-year-old self would want you to make, not the ones the seven-year-old you fantasized about. Want the marriage, knowing all that it will demand of you. Want the child, realizing that her needs will come first for the next 20 years. Choose the man who will take care of the laundry and change the baby's diapers when you've got the flu, rather than the one who spent a month choreographing his proposal so that the video of it would go viral. Understand what you're getting into and put your energy into planning your union, not planning your wedding. That's the key to a happy marriage and a happy life.
"Let's Ban Weddings and, While We're at It, Baby Showers Too"
Article by Valerie Alexander, author of
"Happiness as a Second Language"
Two Sides and The Truth
“The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them.”
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Am I Ugly?
'Am I Ugly?' A Massive Online Community Reveals Surprising Truths About Body Insecurity
People are social animals: it's in our nature to crave approval from those around us, and it's only normal to want to be accepted -- and, more than that, admired. In this image-obsessed society, it makes sense that we'd want to get an idea of what others see when they look at us. Are we pretty, or are we ugly?
That's the question behind "Am I Ugly?", a 35,000-strong community on Reddit.com. Here, anyone aged 16 and over can post a photo of themselves to ask for feedback, and the answers they receive from the community's thousands of readers can be brutally honest. It's not a question that people ask just for fun -- the countless submissions mention serious life troubles such as breakups, infidelity, depression, and low self-esteem. Those who frequent Am I Ugly are quite often genuinely distressed about their looks, and concerned about how this could be impacting their social lives.
From a sample of 1,000 random posts on Am I Ugly, PsychGuides.com conducted an analysis of who's posting photos, who's judging them, and whether any of them are even all that ugly. One of their most surprising findings was that most of the community is male -- 4 out of 5 users. That hardly fulfills the common stereotype that girls are the ones obsessed with their looks. While this could be partially explained by Reddit's userbase, 59-84 percent of which is estimated to be male, it's still remarkable that a community dedicated solely to judging each other's looks would attract so many men.
Even more notably, the community tends to be very young. While the average age of all Reddit users has been cited as ranging anywhere from 24 to 35, the average age of Am I Ugly users is 19 for men, and 18 for women. A massive 62 percent of posts were by women aged 18 or under -- and 41 percent by men in the same age range. In contrast, merely 8 percent of these posts were by women 25 or older, and only 14 percent by men that age. Overall, the oldest posters PsychGuides.com found were a 38-year-old man, and a 35-year-old woman. The youngest? Am I Ugly's minimum age: 16-year-old boys and girls.
In one post, a 21-year-old woman asks bluntly: "What's wrong with my face?" She explains that she's "never felt very pretty", and laments her "big" forehead and how bangs make her face "look fat." The woman, a brunette with smooth skin, bright eyes and a well-proportioned face, is hardly unattractive. And nearly all of the comments agree, reassuring her that she's "very attractive," and "nothing is wrong with her face." (Others go even further, mentioning her sexual appeal or accusing her of "fishing for compliments.") It's clear that, despite her own insecurities, nearly everyone is able to recognize the obvious: that she looks just fine.
So, are these good-looking users really just fishing for compliments, or do they genuinely have a distorted perception of how they look? Post after post follows this same pattern, as users relay their anxieties about their looks and focus in on the features that concern them the most -- the top four being their hair, weight, nose, and eyes. This is remarkably in line with the features that sufferers of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) most often worry about: their nose, skin, eyes, and hair. BDD is set apart by its severity, causing so much distress in sufferers that it greatly impairs their daily lives. While it's likely not so bad for the denizens of Am I Ugly, the resemblance is striking.
We can see the patterns in those who ask the community to judge their looks. But what about those doing the judging -- what are these people like? Perhaps not surprisingly in a community comprised mostly of men, women receive 54 replies on average, compared to only 14 for men. That means people are replying to women's posts more than three times as often. The trend is even clearer when looking at the most and least popular posts within PsychGuides.com's 1,000-post sample. Of the 100 which received the most replies, 66 were from women -- but of the 100 least-replied, 99 were from men. Even as men are the clear majority of the community, women still receive a majority of the judgment and scrutiny. It seems that almost everyone has an opinion on how women look, and they're more than ready to share it.
Attractiveness also seems to play a role in determining how many replies a post receives. Looking at the top 10 most-replied, and bottom 10 least-replied posts from men and women, those receiving the most responses certainly seem to have above-average looks. Yet even those with the least responses are hardly eyesores -- they, too, seem to have at least an average appearance, even if they're not exactly supermodels.
These users have asked thousands of people to tell them if they're ugly. What's the ultimate answer? It appears that, for even the least popular posters, their fear and self-doubt are hardly warranted. Looking at these normal, everyday people, it's hard to see them as being as flawed or unlovable as they often believe they are. Am I Ugly may have proven that the old adage is true: we really can be our own worst critics.
Article by Annabelle Buggle
People are social animals: it's in our nature to crave approval from those around us, and it's only normal to want to be accepted -- and, more than that, admired. In this image-obsessed society, it makes sense that we'd want to get an idea of what others see when they look at us. Are we pretty, or are we ugly?
That's the question behind "Am I Ugly?", a 35,000-strong community on Reddit.com. Here, anyone aged 16 and over can post a photo of themselves to ask for feedback, and the answers they receive from the community's thousands of readers can be brutally honest. It's not a question that people ask just for fun -- the countless submissions mention serious life troubles such as breakups, infidelity, depression, and low self-esteem. Those who frequent Am I Ugly are quite often genuinely distressed about their looks, and concerned about how this could be impacting their social lives.
From a sample of 1,000 random posts on Am I Ugly, PsychGuides.com conducted an analysis of who's posting photos, who's judging them, and whether any of them are even all that ugly. One of their most surprising findings was that most of the community is male -- 4 out of 5 users. That hardly fulfills the common stereotype that girls are the ones obsessed with their looks. While this could be partially explained by Reddit's userbase, 59-84 percent of which is estimated to be male, it's still remarkable that a community dedicated solely to judging each other's looks would attract so many men.
Even more notably, the community tends to be very young. While the average age of all Reddit users has been cited as ranging anywhere from 24 to 35, the average age of Am I Ugly users is 19 for men, and 18 for women. A massive 62 percent of posts were by women aged 18 or under -- and 41 percent by men in the same age range. In contrast, merely 8 percent of these posts were by women 25 or older, and only 14 percent by men that age. Overall, the oldest posters PsychGuides.com found were a 38-year-old man, and a 35-year-old woman. The youngest? Am I Ugly's minimum age: 16-year-old boys and girls.
In one post, a 21-year-old woman asks bluntly: "What's wrong with my face?" She explains that she's "never felt very pretty", and laments her "big" forehead and how bangs make her face "look fat." The woman, a brunette with smooth skin, bright eyes and a well-proportioned face, is hardly unattractive. And nearly all of the comments agree, reassuring her that she's "very attractive," and "nothing is wrong with her face." (Others go even further, mentioning her sexual appeal or accusing her of "fishing for compliments.") It's clear that, despite her own insecurities, nearly everyone is able to recognize the obvious: that she looks just fine.
So, are these good-looking users really just fishing for compliments, or do they genuinely have a distorted perception of how they look? Post after post follows this same pattern, as users relay their anxieties about their looks and focus in on the features that concern them the most -- the top four being their hair, weight, nose, and eyes. This is remarkably in line with the features that sufferers of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) most often worry about: their nose, skin, eyes, and hair. BDD is set apart by its severity, causing so much distress in sufferers that it greatly impairs their daily lives. While it's likely not so bad for the denizens of Am I Ugly, the resemblance is striking.
We can see the patterns in those who ask the community to judge their looks. But what about those doing the judging -- what are these people like? Perhaps not surprisingly in a community comprised mostly of men, women receive 54 replies on average, compared to only 14 for men. That means people are replying to women's posts more than three times as often. The trend is even clearer when looking at the most and least popular posts within PsychGuides.com's 1,000-post sample. Of the 100 which received the most replies, 66 were from women -- but of the 100 least-replied, 99 were from men. Even as men are the clear majority of the community, women still receive a majority of the judgment and scrutiny. It seems that almost everyone has an opinion on how women look, and they're more than ready to share it.
Attractiveness also seems to play a role in determining how many replies a post receives. Looking at the top 10 most-replied, and bottom 10 least-replied posts from men and women, those receiving the most responses certainly seem to have above-average looks. Yet even those with the least responses are hardly eyesores -- they, too, seem to have at least an average appearance, even if they're not exactly supermodels.
These users have asked thousands of people to tell them if they're ugly. What's the ultimate answer? It appears that, for even the least popular posters, their fear and self-doubt are hardly warranted. Looking at these normal, everyday people, it's hard to see them as being as flawed or unlovable as they often believe they are. Am I Ugly may have proven that the old adage is true: we really can be our own worst critics.
Article by Annabelle Buggle
Friday, December 13, 2013
Eternal Sunshine
I must admit, with all my humble honesty...how you caught me off guard.
When I first saw your link, I Assumed that it was a link to either a story (that you may or may not have written) or some post about Spartans...
So, without much thought beyond that I pressed on your link....and my page turned white, followed by an instantaneous materialization of these gorgeous green eyes.
My focus became magnetized...slowly and innocently accepting their hypnotic medicine.
Their's intense energy that emits from that bedazzling gaze, the type that cripples the careless and paralyzes the weak...just like Medusa, you stone your victims where they stand.
Much...like that devil that sits on my shoulder, whispering suggestions of might and flight...your unspoken words shatter planets and shift interplanetary alignments.
A forbidden galaxy of
l o n g
and
lost,
sifting beyond logic only computes truths that mirror fact...
yes indeed, you caught me off guard.
When I first saw your link, I Assumed that it was a link to either a story (that you may or may not have written) or some post about Spartans...
So, without much thought beyond that I pressed on your link....and my page turned white, followed by an instantaneous materialization of these gorgeous green eyes.
My focus became magnetized...slowly and innocently accepting their hypnotic medicine.
Their's intense energy that emits from that bedazzling gaze, the type that cripples the careless and paralyzes the weak...just like Medusa, you stone your victims where they stand.
Much...like that devil that sits on my shoulder, whispering suggestions of might and flight...your unspoken words shatter planets and shift interplanetary alignments.
A forbidden galaxy of
l o n g
and
lost,
sifting beyond logic only computes truths that mirror fact...
yes indeed, you caught me off guard.
Blitzkrieg Hollywood This
A true gentleman allows the lady to go first...
So...I will create (and Embellish) an answer...
Your answer...
"Dearest Gladiator,
All is well in spite of all the unexpected excitement that we all call life. Things became...how shall I say this...exaggerated beyond belief...let me share and explain. What I am about to share with you, is not only in confidence between us...but also, the atheist's honest truth! Back, during Halloween, I was trick or treating with a bunch of my girlfriends (we were dressed up like the Spice Girls on Crack), of course I was toothless and disheveled Geri Wannabe Beckham. We spent the entire evening robbing greasy gas stops and obscure Walmart locations. I collected so much crap that I needed a crane to lift my goodie bags home. As dawn reared its unforgiving head, we hit up a Denny's for breakfast (I ate e11even Jumbo pancakes!). Twenty minutes later, I'm passed out on my lawn...Candy bars decorating it as if it was raining Kit Kat's and Snicker Bars. If my dentist was still alive, rest her soul...she would be rolling in her coffin! Four hours later, Tamba is swiping at my right hand, alerting me to my rotten neighbor's teenage son Owen attempting to scoundrel away with my hard earn treats! Without thought...I reluctantly (and hastily) raise to my feet and aggressively grab the boy as I viciously start to relentlessly strangle him. He releases his loot, as his face loses it's rosy hue...his skin fades to white, before it settles on smurf-like blue. Hopefully the mallee didn't draw too much attention to me. I gather my belongings and head for friendlier territory...my home, with my cat in tow. I dump the candy the instant my door shuts, and I walk into my commode. That reflection that stares back has black mascara running down the cheeks and a steady flow of red streaming from the right corner lip. I start to gag, there's something in my mouth...I spit it out. It's half a tooth...'must be Owen's'. I splash a healthy dose of cold water onto my face until a familiar consciousness settles forth. Great, I feel calm and relaxed, Again!!! I walk back to my atrium, where my candy sits...quietly awaiting my return. I kneel beside my mounted score and start to sift through. Milky Way, Reece's, Hershey, M&M's, Twix...all the good stuff! Oh Wait! What the Hell is this...I have this large solid gold ring. It's heavy as fuck, sturdy as can be...where and when did I snatch this up? Perhaps at gunpoint at The Hess station from that pretentious yuppy driving the 2014 Ferrari? Who cares, it's mine now. I can't help but stare...as I drift into thought....
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
I snap out of it, the shiny ring rests cemented on my right pointer. The BANGING persists...someone is at the door and in urgent need to gain my attention. I hear, in a Magnified tone
"Come on Out, this is the police!"
Fuckity fuck fuck....god damn fucken fuck!
If they re going to take me out, I am going out with my own bang. I ram, full force, straight through my door barreling over the six swat team members that were strategically positioned on my porch. A seventh comes charging at me. I do a summersault....he narrowly misses me. Determined to tackle me, he swings around and continues his surge. I land in a ready for combat position, instantaneously throwing a roundhouse kick...Chuck Norris Style...to his head...shattering his helmet and face. Teeth splatter my eyesight, bone is heard crying uncle. Next thing I know there's this helicopter overhead...with it's spotlight on me...
"Die Motherfucker!"
I jump up, grab the helicopter and throw it into Owen's house. Fire...explosion...Panic ensues. My neighbors are running in every which direction...
Four Swat Team battalions arrive and kneel within forty yards of me...they start deploying missiles...grenades...taco sandwiches...
Nothing is working, nothing at all...
Until one if them sends their Godzilla...
Shits about to get real
OHM
OHM
OHM
I blast Godzilla into a billion pieces
(I still have Godzilla Guts in my Hair)
By now, I am getting Bored and Tired.
But Wait...a limousine pulls up...and Brittney Fucken Spears pops out...?
WTF
They hand her mic...and she starts signing the theme song to Spice World...
OMG, STFU!
My ears start bleeding...my legs start to quiver, collapsing beneath my weight. This can't be happening...my eyes start tearing and my tongue jumps out of my mouth, digs a hole and buries itself....
Forty three days later, I wake up on a bed on the set of General Hospital. Mario Lopez is taking my blood pressure and assuring me that everything is ok....shoves a needle of Thorazine into my arm.
Oh well, it could be worse, I could be Lindsey Lohan at Betty Ford!
I've had a crazy few months lately, but I'm sorting through it. Drama Free to the best of my own ability.
Otherwise, all is well...how the hell are you?
Always and forever
Gypsified beyond Belief"
Wow, and I thought I had some odd luck...being that I was almost blamed for the whole Iranian Nuke Program. Misunderstanding can create a life if their own. Either way, It's all Good if you're good!
Your truest fan!
K
So...I will create (and Embellish) an answer...
Your answer...
"Dearest Gladiator,
All is well in spite of all the unexpected excitement that we all call life. Things became...how shall I say this...exaggerated beyond belief...let me share and explain. What I am about to share with you, is not only in confidence between us...but also, the atheist's honest truth! Back, during Halloween, I was trick or treating with a bunch of my girlfriends (we were dressed up like the Spice Girls on Crack), of course I was toothless and disheveled Geri Wannabe Beckham. We spent the entire evening robbing greasy gas stops and obscure Walmart locations. I collected so much crap that I needed a crane to lift my goodie bags home. As dawn reared its unforgiving head, we hit up a Denny's for breakfast (I ate e11even Jumbo pancakes!). Twenty minutes later, I'm passed out on my lawn...Candy bars decorating it as if it was raining Kit Kat's and Snicker Bars. If my dentist was still alive, rest her soul...she would be rolling in her coffin! Four hours later, Tamba is swiping at my right hand, alerting me to my rotten neighbor's teenage son Owen attempting to scoundrel away with my hard earn treats! Without thought...I reluctantly (and hastily) raise to my feet and aggressively grab the boy as I viciously start to relentlessly strangle him. He releases his loot, as his face loses it's rosy hue...his skin fades to white, before it settles on smurf-like blue. Hopefully the mallee didn't draw too much attention to me. I gather my belongings and head for friendlier territory...my home, with my cat in tow. I dump the candy the instant my door shuts, and I walk into my commode. That reflection that stares back has black mascara running down the cheeks and a steady flow of red streaming from the right corner lip. I start to gag, there's something in my mouth...I spit it out. It's half a tooth...'must be Owen's'. I splash a healthy dose of cold water onto my face until a familiar consciousness settles forth. Great, I feel calm and relaxed, Again!!! I walk back to my atrium, where my candy sits...quietly awaiting my return. I kneel beside my mounted score and start to sift through. Milky Way, Reece's, Hershey, M&M's, Twix...all the good stuff! Oh Wait! What the Hell is this...I have this large solid gold ring. It's heavy as fuck, sturdy as can be...where and when did I snatch this up? Perhaps at gunpoint at The Hess station from that pretentious yuppy driving the 2014 Ferrari? Who cares, it's mine now. I can't help but stare...as I drift into thought....
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
I snap out of it, the shiny ring rests cemented on my right pointer. The BANGING persists...someone is at the door and in urgent need to gain my attention. I hear, in a Magnified tone
"Come on Out, this is the police!"
Fuckity fuck fuck....god damn fucken fuck!
If they re going to take me out, I am going out with my own bang. I ram, full force, straight through my door barreling over the six swat team members that were strategically positioned on my porch. A seventh comes charging at me. I do a summersault....he narrowly misses me. Determined to tackle me, he swings around and continues his surge. I land in a ready for combat position, instantaneously throwing a roundhouse kick...Chuck Norris Style...to his head...shattering his helmet and face. Teeth splatter my eyesight, bone is heard crying uncle. Next thing I know there's this helicopter overhead...with it's spotlight on me...
"Die Motherfucker!"
I jump up, grab the helicopter and throw it into Owen's house. Fire...explosion...Panic ensues. My neighbors are running in every which direction...
Four Swat Team battalions arrive and kneel within forty yards of me...they start deploying missiles...grenades...taco sandwiches...
Nothing is working, nothing at all...
Until one if them sends their Godzilla...
Shits about to get real
OHM
OHM
OHM
I blast Godzilla into a billion pieces
(I still have Godzilla Guts in my Hair)
By now, I am getting Bored and Tired.
But Wait...a limousine pulls up...and Brittney Fucken Spears pops out...?
WTF
They hand her mic...and she starts signing the theme song to Spice World...
OMG, STFU!
My ears start bleeding...my legs start to quiver, collapsing beneath my weight. This can't be happening...my eyes start tearing and my tongue jumps out of my mouth, digs a hole and buries itself....
Forty three days later, I wake up on a bed on the set of General Hospital. Mario Lopez is taking my blood pressure and assuring me that everything is ok....shoves a needle of Thorazine into my arm.
Oh well, it could be worse, I could be Lindsey Lohan at Betty Ford!
I've had a crazy few months lately, but I'm sorting through it. Drama Free to the best of my own ability.
Otherwise, all is well...how the hell are you?
Always and forever
Gypsified beyond Belief"
Wow, and I thought I had some odd luck...being that I was almost blamed for the whole Iranian Nuke Program. Misunderstanding can create a life if their own. Either way, It's all Good if you're good!
Your truest fan!
K
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Untitled Torture
A long and torturous free fall
Free of substance...free from attachment
Dedicated to my own personal deconstruction
Free of judgement...free from consequence
Faded to my own personal shallow grave
...
Where my tombstone humbly decorates
As it
Slightly tilts to your left...
Yielding to grass, half mowed
Sprouted
Around on my home's periphery
...
Free of chance...free of circumstance
Here is where I do my dance
With my smile, half crooked
and my fingers crossed
Deeply involved in a mystery I was never prepared for
...
Curse,
I Curse my ill fate
Free of my luck...free of my opportunity
Why?
Why...was I blessed with such an immaculate and irresistible
S L O W
Torture
All in the loving name
...
Welcome,
To my fate
My own Personal Purgatory
This Is My Destiny....
You, bless
and curse this road
That I am so addicted to claim
Without a Prize
and
Praise your Glow
With my sincerest,
and most envious
Of Final Good Byes
...
You are my Guilty Pleasure
That I could never live with
and
Never Live Without
Free of substance...free from attachment
Dedicated to my own personal deconstruction
Free of judgement...free from consequence
Faded to my own personal shallow grave
...
Where my tombstone humbly decorates
As it
Slightly tilts to your left...
Yielding to grass, half mowed
Sprouted
Around on my home's periphery
...
Free of chance...free of circumstance
Here is where I do my dance
With my smile, half crooked
and my fingers crossed
Deeply involved in a mystery I was never prepared for
...
Curse,
I Curse my ill fate
Free of my luck...free of my opportunity
Why?
Why...was I blessed with such an immaculate and irresistible
S L O W
Torture
All in the loving name
...
Welcome,
To my fate
My own Personal Purgatory
This Is My Destiny....
You, bless
and curse this road
That I am so addicted to claim
Without a Prize
and
Praise your Glow
With my sincerest,
and most envious
Of Final Good Byes
...
You are my Guilty Pleasure
That I could never live with
and
Never Live Without
Lesbian Sex Secrets
People often feel comfortable asking me questions about lesbian sex. It happens everywhere from cocktail parties to riding around in New York City taxis. As a sex positive person and porn mogul, I think it's really important to have discussions about lesbian sex. Some lesbians are really annoyed to have to field these types of questions, but I feel that having an open mind and an open ear helps to make people outside of the gay community understand us better.
So, get ready to be schooled! I promise it's the most fun learning you'll have all day.
1
Question: What exactly do you two do?
Answer: The ways we have sex are as varied as straight couples. I'd argue that the sex we have is actually better, because there's not the looming issue of a hard-on and how the hard-on will be serviced. Women are also capable of multiple orgasms, so there is little to no recovery time. We have oral sex, anal sex, penetrative sex and everything in between.
2
Question: Is one of you "the man"?
Answer: This question is always hilarious to me, because it shows how deeply ingrained strict gender roles are. Sometimes there are more masculine women or queer folks who like to be in control, but not always. It all comes down to personal preference, honestly. And not just that one of us is always "a top" and the other "a bottom"... we often switch roles, sometimes during the middle of the same sex session.
3
Question: Is it easier since you're both women and know instinctively what the other likes?
Answer: God, I wish. No, no and no. Just like hetero people, it takes us gay ladies a while to figure out what we like. I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing for a good year or so after I started sleeping with women. It wasn't until I met my first girlfriend that I really started to understand how profoundly mind-blowing sex with a woman can be.
4
Question: Do you always use a strap-on?
Answer: No. Again, it depends on the couple, but for me, it's a sort of "special occasion" thing. I also really like to receive anal sex, so I like to have a strap-on penetrate me there, because it feels nice. Some women or queer folks like to incorporate strap-on sex more regularly. Sometimes we role-play and take on a more masculine character, and, for other people, a masculine role feels generally more comfortable for them.
5
Question: If you like women, why would you have sex with a girl who looks like a boy? Why not just date a man?
Answer: Because men are men. As a lesbian, I'm attracted to the parts and mind of a woman. Men don't have boobs (well, they do, but they are not developed). I have a very hard time connecting on an emotional level with men. I can have friends that are dudes, but falling in love was tough, because I just don't relate to men in the same way. We don't "click." Also, even with more masculine looking men or queer folks, there is still a feeling of difference from the norm, and that feels right for many of us.
6
Question: If I want to kiss a girl, does that make me a lesbian?
Answer: Not necessarily. Our culture places way too much importance on labels. Maybe you are gay, maybe you aren't. I hope we get to the point in history where it no longer matters. Something like 80% of straight women have lesbian fantasies, so you're in good company.
7
Question: I saw that movie "Blue is the Warmest Color". Is that really how you girls have sex?
Answer: I've been getting this question a lot lately. The answer is yes and no. Lots of lesbians are pissed off about the portrayal of lesbian sex. Some say that the sex is too "porn-ish" and an example of the "male fantasy of lesbian sex". I thought the movie was hot. For me, it was an accurate representation. I like rough sex. I like anal. I can go on and on for a long time. I didn't understand all the hoopla about it being fake. Apparently a lot of women are having different sex than I do.
8
Question: I keep hearing about "scissoring." What is that?
Answer: My friend, film director, Jodi Savitz wrote a great piece about it, so instead of me paraphrasing, I suggest you just go an read it here.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jincey-lumpkin/the-forbidden-lesbian-sex-act_b_1018585.html
9
Question: What is fisting?
Answer: I wrote an entire column about fisting, so here is the link to go and read it. The column gives a lot of detail.
10
Question: Are you hitting on me?
Answer: Maybe. Are you hot? If so, then I probably am.
11
Question: If I have a "friend" who wants to hook up with a girl... um... how would I tell her a way to make that happen?
Answer: I also wrote two different columns on how and where to meet women. The first one is about online dating and finding love or a one-night stand. The second one is about how to meet women in the real world. My main piece of advice for women who, as Andy Cohen loves to say, want to "take a dip in the lady pond", just be honest. No one wants to be a science experiment, but many lesbians and queer people don't mind about a woman's sexual identity. Have fun, kiddo!
If you have any other questions that you want to be answered, hit me up on Twitter!
"11 Things You've Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex But Were Afraid to Ask"
Article by
Jincey Lumpkin
Follow Jincey Lumpkin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/juicyjincey
So, get ready to be schooled! I promise it's the most fun learning you'll have all day.
1
Question: What exactly do you two do?
Answer: The ways we have sex are as varied as straight couples. I'd argue that the sex we have is actually better, because there's not the looming issue of a hard-on and how the hard-on will be serviced. Women are also capable of multiple orgasms, so there is little to no recovery time. We have oral sex, anal sex, penetrative sex and everything in between.
2
Question: Is one of you "the man"?
Answer: This question is always hilarious to me, because it shows how deeply ingrained strict gender roles are. Sometimes there are more masculine women or queer folks who like to be in control, but not always. It all comes down to personal preference, honestly. And not just that one of us is always "a top" and the other "a bottom"... we often switch roles, sometimes during the middle of the same sex session.
3
Question: Is it easier since you're both women and know instinctively what the other likes?
Answer: God, I wish. No, no and no. Just like hetero people, it takes us gay ladies a while to figure out what we like. I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing for a good year or so after I started sleeping with women. It wasn't until I met my first girlfriend that I really started to understand how profoundly mind-blowing sex with a woman can be.
4
Question: Do you always use a strap-on?
Answer: No. Again, it depends on the couple, but for me, it's a sort of "special occasion" thing. I also really like to receive anal sex, so I like to have a strap-on penetrate me there, because it feels nice. Some women or queer folks like to incorporate strap-on sex more regularly. Sometimes we role-play and take on a more masculine character, and, for other people, a masculine role feels generally more comfortable for them.
5
Question: If you like women, why would you have sex with a girl who looks like a boy? Why not just date a man?
Answer: Because men are men. As a lesbian, I'm attracted to the parts and mind of a woman. Men don't have boobs (well, they do, but they are not developed). I have a very hard time connecting on an emotional level with men. I can have friends that are dudes, but falling in love was tough, because I just don't relate to men in the same way. We don't "click." Also, even with more masculine looking men or queer folks, there is still a feeling of difference from the norm, and that feels right for many of us.
6
Question: If I want to kiss a girl, does that make me a lesbian?
Answer: Not necessarily. Our culture places way too much importance on labels. Maybe you are gay, maybe you aren't. I hope we get to the point in history where it no longer matters. Something like 80% of straight women have lesbian fantasies, so you're in good company.
7
Question: I saw that movie "Blue is the Warmest Color". Is that really how you girls have sex?
Answer: I've been getting this question a lot lately. The answer is yes and no. Lots of lesbians are pissed off about the portrayal of lesbian sex. Some say that the sex is too "porn-ish" and an example of the "male fantasy of lesbian sex". I thought the movie was hot. For me, it was an accurate representation. I like rough sex. I like anal. I can go on and on for a long time. I didn't understand all the hoopla about it being fake. Apparently a lot of women are having different sex than I do.
8
Question: I keep hearing about "scissoring." What is that?
Answer: My friend, film director, Jodi Savitz wrote a great piece about it, so instead of me paraphrasing, I suggest you just go an read it here.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jincey-lumpkin/the-forbidden-lesbian-sex-act_b_1018585.html
9
Question: What is fisting?
Answer: I wrote an entire column about fisting, so here is the link to go and read it. The column gives a lot of detail.
10
Question: Are you hitting on me?
Answer: Maybe. Are you hot? If so, then I probably am.
11
Question: If I have a "friend" who wants to hook up with a girl... um... how would I tell her a way to make that happen?
Answer: I also wrote two different columns on how and where to meet women. The first one is about online dating and finding love or a one-night stand. The second one is about how to meet women in the real world. My main piece of advice for women who, as Andy Cohen loves to say, want to "take a dip in the lady pond", just be honest. No one wants to be a science experiment, but many lesbians and queer people don't mind about a woman's sexual identity. Have fun, kiddo!
If you have any other questions that you want to be answered, hit me up on Twitter!
"11 Things You've Always Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex But Were Afraid to Ask"
Article by
Jincey Lumpkin
Follow Jincey Lumpkin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/juicyjincey
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