Just for the record!

In case anyone misconstrued what i have written, Kathryn is not Six foot Six 6'6"
...she is about a half a foot shorter!

Along the way i have a few random words yet still very specific items shared with me...

...U keep seeing the sign but u are not heeding it.  U are not what i need in my life.  U made that very clear in your actions and I have moved on as a result of it...so please let it go...I am not going to change my mind...I want something different than u have to offer...u might think of me as cold and cruel but i know what i want and i don't waste my time.  I am looking for my soulmate and u obviously are not it...
...Maybe u should take this as a lesson learned and be careful about the things u do...maybe u need to know yourself better...
...If u feel u needed to be guarded that's your issue...what u see is what u get with me I didn't hide anything :-) not only are u guarded but sneaky...not soulmate material...
...Words mean nothing to me =-)...your actions spoke very different and your interest has increased, mine has faded from this situation...
...Hmmmm . : - ) I think u are a shit.  U took the beginnings of a nice relationship, thought u were a big man because Jen showed interest and your ego was a little inflated and u didn't think what the ramifications of being a sneak would be and u got busted.  If u had been so interested in me this never would have occurred.  Now u are trying to backpeddle and undo what u did and it is too late because I now see u for what u are and nothing is going to change that.  U wanted me to communicate now i have...

Kathryn's arguments are spot on, she feels betrayed by my actions, and i completely understand her status on the matter.  Now, the impossible task of convincing her that what happened is out of character for me...not to mention the obvious, selecting the absolute worst study case to infuse in our budding relationship...Real bad move on my part.  I am sorry Kathryn for instigating a problem, when there was none formed...As Elizabeth told me, i should have just waited for nature to take its course and bring on one all on its own...I bet Liz is spot on as well.  I sending Kathryn White Flowers today with a white teddy bear...She is either going to burn them or hopefully begin to understand my sincerity in all of this.  I learned a lesson alright.

Picric Acid

(A yellow crystalline phenol derivative (structurally similar to TNT))

     Its a highly combustible compound that was used as a component of a skin cream invention by my Ex-girlfriends' Grandfather...this man was a master chemist over half a century ago.  Picric is rooted from the Greek word bitter...its a feeling that i don't wish upon anyone.

    As i have stated in previous entries, the most resilient quality any relationship has is the ability to Cope with conflict...ultimately leading to either closure or resolution.  Individuals unwillingness to put themselves within the battlegrounds of conflict for the greater good, must find that inner strength to persevere that insurmountable hurdle.  Some individuals develop defense mechanisms that create an emotional abyss...distancing themselves from that burning fire of friction and division.  This is not as much a personal attack, as much as a forum of protection.

No hard feelings, its never personal!

Its true that you can potentially offer up some vulnerability in situations demanding solution...some people need to learn to offer up a little of their soul to mend a bridge over that burning disunity.

3 three in one 1

     Let me begin my summarizing my Friday evening...Seven P.M. 19:00 (hours) I attended Gerard Savarese's wake.  His Daughter Margie is a co worker, my condolences go out to the Savarese Family.  Ninety90Minutes later I was attending Heather Lynn Parman's wake...she was a customer of mine, she was 2twentyeight8 years old at the time of her untimely death....we should treat each day with the preciousness life deserves...with delicate hands and a loving heart...Love Like Heather LLH...Sweet dreams in Heaven Heather...
May peace be with both....

     What i owe the readers (as per continuous request) is this...I am going to place myself on trial, that is only fair!
Kerry called them Curveballs...i have a whole repertoire of them...and they are very effective in creating chaos...
  The story is simple, i wanted to test the authenticity and resiliency of my bond with Kathryn...Its the Teacher in Me that peered its marker upon the beat of this connection.  I wanted to find out if she has it in her to deal with me...it seems as if she would rather not only Avoid dealing with me...but my suspicion is she would rather not deal (within the confines of conflict), with anyone...well almost anyone, i know Sara Stillwell has had her fair share of beatdowns From Kathryn!  I believe that Kathryn does not understand my motives, nor my direction in this...its easier for Kathryn to cease and desist from this ongoing clash then pursue an end means.
  What i am guilty of is instigating and manipulating this tumultuous situation.  What i am most remorseful for is inducing a sense of betrayal from the young bond that has formed between Kathryn and I.  Ultimately leading to "hurtful" emotions.  She states shes not hurt, of course the hurt is minimal when you leave...but its still there.  If i can "redo" this i would at the very least let nature take the course of conflict and not artificially (and unnaturally) create it.  It was destined to happen, i figured that if we went through it now and survived it, we could survive anything.
  This Pulse is quickly fading, Kathryn is letting is die...I am willing to resuscitate and remediate the situation...i am willing to make myself vulnerable for her because i feel that shes a rare jewel and worth the Fight (and from what she has said to me...she has a fondness for Me, somewhere).  Her guarded state will not allow her too, I think she should take that chance and see where it takes her.

On my birthday week i was in a car chase, a fight, and attended two wakes...i can't wait to see what this new year will bring me.

On my Birthday

 "Never Becomes darker...

Then when dawn is about to come"

     Kathryn informed Me that we both need to look elsewhere...she always warned me that she might be a bit impulsive...i suppose she might have a point.  Rather then resolve conflict, it is easier to avoid it by evading it.  I do care about her (a whole lot to be exact), but i can not force her to stay in my company if she feels that she is best suited in another environment.  If this is how it needs to be Kathryn, then so be it.
There is an old saying
if you care about something, set it free, if you are meant to be with it...then it shall return...
Be free Kathryn
and if it is meant
to be
i'll see you again
be well
be blessed

Snow Days are Fun

Mother Nature was the first to greet me with a Birthday Gift...about a foot of snow!!!  What better way to start a day then with a four hour workout?!

Thank you readers for taking the time in your day to read from Our Blog =)
We are encroaching two2000thousand Readers
Bless you all
Especially my new Ukrainian Readers


I'm in a deviant mood, maybe i'll throw a wrench in the sky and see where it lands.  On Tuesday Jen was introduced to me.  On Wednesday, she made a point to express interest.  The thing is, i know who Jen is...but she has no idea who i am.  Now if i actually introduce myself, will this stir the pot or will Kathryn understand?  If she understands then Kathryn's a keeper, if she walks...well then what can i say...there is an entire journey that she will miss out on.  I'm flipping the coin Kathryn, where will it land and what will you do about it?  Be warned, don't get angry (don't be mad), don't get scared and please don't walk away...these are my vested risks...but i would really like to bet on you.

Carla says "...

...No Relationship has a right way of being steered through its waters...

Remember to ask questions!

Never ASSume AnSwerS

NO, NONE...it just doesn't Exist

The Perfect Relationship...

Did you Notice?
No Two 2Relationships2 Ever
Resemble each other?
Each is UnIque

PS

I told Kathryn

That I Like How She's Just

The Right Combination of

Being Delicate

Strong and Free-Willed

yet still Tempermental

but always Sexy

Just More Taxation

     Its somewhere around 5five:twenty20 a.m. Eastern Time (early THIS morning) when i was headed North on Stony Brook Road cruising at a rate approximately twenty25five %percent% faster then the posted limit...approaching a bend at the intersection with route 3three4fortyseven7, i punch my accelerator as I swiftly navigate my way through a GREEN light...no need to be needlessly held back there with a yellow to red possibility.  Over the intersection i continue my journey North...in the far distance using my rear view mirror i can see the headlights of another motorist Turn onto the same road (same direction).  That vehicle is well over a quarter 1/4 mile behind me...lets expand that gap...vroom vroom and a ZOOM.  I'm quick, and i am Sharp.  I make my turns as i weave my way in my lane, contuinue to commandeer my way North...God i love my car (Acura).  I finally stall when i encounter my first Red Light of my morning Trip...Tick Tock...Time always moves sooooo sssssllloooowwww for me...especially in the morning.  Green...I'm Off, but with the other driver directly behind me, i'm slightly more respectful of driving rules and regulations.  I stop at the Stop Light at the 25twentyfiveA intersection, turn to head West...
     That is when i noticed that i was about to be visited by a disgruntled, hemorrhoid infested, middle aged man who is not too pleased to make my acquaintance this early (and cold) morning...40forty40 Minutes later with t2w2o lectures and tickets richer...to add insult to injury, he wanted to know where I was this early in shorts when its about twenty20twenty degrees out?  You have got to be kidding me!

Greed + Lonely = Trouble

     Interesting adventures can ultimately begin under the tunnels of the Texan-Mexican Border.  Here we find young Colombian Manuel, smuggling himself into the United States of America...In the instant that he steps on US soil and breathes in "free" air, he will transform himself into Clifford (Cliff for short).  Cliff is young, young enough to be in homeroom somewhere during the early hours of the morning.  He has ambition though, maybe some may say more ambition then the natives?  Anyhow, as a maturing young Man, Cliff starts his employment for an up and coming Local Business.  He is a hard working and loyal employee, he does everything asked of him regardless of the difficulty of the task.  He never complains, he's eager to learn.  He soon there after meets Consuela...she too is a Colombian (23twentythree23 years ago).  She has been married for approximately half a decade (she did so in order to be given citizenship).  She has a young son.  Cliff and Consuela soon become an item...
     As Cliff achieves his promotions within his workplace, his relationship with Consuela has evolved to a spousal level...in order for them to actually get married, Consuela will need to divorce her husband Jeff.  He may not be happy about this, but this marriage was always about papers (marriage typically is).  Jeff and Consuela divorce, Consuela accepts Cliff as her Husband (Five5Five).  At this point in Cliff's life he is the prototypical success story.  He has businesses that are successful in The United States of America, as well as Colombia.  Cliff also has residence in both countries...Something is amiss though, Cliff hears whispers.
     Max is an older man, he has a military background with connections in both America and Colombia.  Max has been hired by Cliff to pay a little extra attention to Consuela...she has been frequenting Colombia and performing some curious activities.  Max is extremely attentive, he notices that Consuela is disguising her financial transactions with Cliff's authorization.  Max then traces elements of Cliff's money back into Colombia, where Consuela was sharing it with Armando.  Who's Armando?  Armando is Cliff's Colombian Financial Adviser.  Armando has been spending several evenings with Consuela as well...he keeps her company (she must be lonely) and tells things that she wants to hear.

*There is an old saying don't believe what you hear and only believe half of what you see*

     Given that in Colombia, wire taps are OK with everyone if you can afford to set them forth...Max is interested in what Armando is saying on the phone.  Turns out Armando has several women that he keeps in close company...Seems as if Armando is Busy...Bad Armando!!!Bad Armando!!!  Cliff feels betrayed by Consuela...Consuela acted stupid and foolishly.  Consuela is about to get her second divorce.  Bye Consuela, so long Armando...Better luck next time Manuel (how do you think Jeff feels?)...Great job Max, as always!

Awkward Turtles

Dating?
or
General interacting etiquette
Lessen number #53 Fifty-three

     Even if you just love to gabbbbbbb....take a moment (hear and there) to actually listen to what your date has to say.  Engage them, show interest in them...ask a question (or two even 3, if you absolutely must).  Attempt to equally share time with how much each of you has something to share and contribute.
Quick Question
How long is that period of silence that turns into an uncomfortable silence?
     Varies between individuals and settings, for example i can sit rather calmly and quietly next to someone like Lindsey Vonn...(I won't stare though...now that would be rather uncomforting for her and I).  At this point, it would be ideal to re-invigorate the conversation by asking a question...avoid asking YES or NO type of questions.  Incorporating an articulate question would be best.  Show interest and thought in your response to their answer...bonus points if you incorporate a subsequent question  **Warning**  Be weary of individuals that Like to talk about themselves...vanity is a most unwelcoming quality (aka Hughes!). Its best to be yourself, humoring any situation is also encouraged...activities, jobs, tasks that need to get done NOW with some help could be helpful...And don't try too Hard, people sense it, it increases the awkwardness.


Lesson Number Twelve #12
Uninterested?
NONONONONONO...saying No to a date can be difficult for some...its easier to say Yes (albeit uncomfortably)...its always best to not string along someone's hope with Yeses or maybes!  Its best for you and them if you say No from the very beginning.

Diluvian Tasks

     Worship has followed humans through the footprints of time...from our inception, through creation and finally during our current chronicles of existence.  Our historical profile, on any level has showed one commonality...worship on some level.  From our fears of  floods to fires, through quakes or waves...worship has existed for some five500hundred decades.  Egypt, Mesopotamia, Asia, the Old world to the New World...Air, Water, Fire, Earth has grounded our souls and made our world move through the infinity of eternity under a voidless vacuum of time and space.  Worship can be simple, real grounding and just as humbling...it starts with respecting, honoring, and having integrity for your mate...respect your mates social contributions, as well as appreciate the company that your mate can contribute in order to stabilize and strengthen a potentially everlasting and vibrant connection...one that will thrive and flourish and withstand the perils and challenges of time.  Legacies can develop with the correct chemistry that will be emulated by subsequent generations...we all deserve that companionship...we all have qualities that make us "worth" it

Pulchritude

pel-kre-tyud
means physical comeliness

We all know that physical pulchritude (whether it be male or female) is USUALLY what attracts us to someone. But what do you consider to be YOUR requirement in THEM for sustaining a long-term future with them?

The answer varies for us all...its a matter of understanding ourselves that enables us to take our first step on that road for two2two

beauty truly is in the deceptive eye of the beholder
Sometimes Beauty can Hide beneath the Rust 
You know that you have found something special when you find beauty true and through

Whats the Score?

Henry Hot-dog gets roughed UP by Willow Willow

     Sounds Kinky and Mysterious, its really just silly and stupid...like many things that we do and say...lacking Depth and meaning.  But if in our heart, our intent is genuine and authentic to a decent cause, then the trip just might be worth taking.


PS Let it ride on the Jets
i have a seven week bet pending on them
With a Tattoo wager
as the penalty for the Loser

J

E

T

S

JetsJetsJets

The Only Reason Why

Joe is not afraid of Liz is because Liz is nice!

What would Anne Rooney say???

...there are defining moments in any and all given situations, as well as, events...at these critical junctures, we are left to decide our destination...turn left, one outcome...turn right, an alternate decision...stay straight, possibly remain status quo...head up and possibly oversee justice...you can always turn back, and blame someone else...Its always easy blaming someone or somebody else over lack of progression.  Victors seize their moments to achieve their success...no hands out, just hard work..and it is always better to try and fail then to never attempt at all...enough about this high school basketball coach talk...seize your opportunities, seize the day

A Funny Thing Happened to Me

Yesterday

     Standing in a mound of snow measuring mid thigh, dusk was turning into night...the air was cold and stagnant, the road was silence of activity.  I stood in front of  five (plus) hours worth of snow removal...i turned to the heavens and silently wished for some assistance.  Less then twenty20seconds later two migrant workers, passing by, stopped and asked if i was in need of some help.  "I appreciate the offer gentlemen, but this is my mess to overcome.  Thank you."  My path has since been fully cleared (3355 kcal later)...no obstacles in my way...all through my own hands...even though my prayer came answered...i refused that helping hand.

Number Twenty Two

Rule #22

In order to have respect in a relationship, you in turn must respect your partner.
How will you do this?
Understand the boundaries set forth that will help define your identity.  Relationships have a way of making us lose our identities...its hard to Earn respect when we lose sight of who we are.  There is a difference between infatuation versus Esteem.  Infatuation is fleeting and transient, Esteem has a standard.  Infatuation rhymes with satisfaction.  Esteem has concerns for and draped curiosities of.  Both come with passion...its just that one is more obsessive and the other has regard and accountability.  Infatuation has Rage.  Esteem has honor.  Both have fondness...with esteem comes a wondrous enthusiasm with unbiased affection and devotion.  Both will boast a fanciful appetite, yet only one relishes beyond adoration and holds acclamation.  Understand the difference since...
     Having your own identity means there will be a certain aptitude of privacy that stays unshared...remains unadulterated...is kept true to its heart.  By remaining true, your partner can have a better understanding and appreciation of Who you are.  At this point, be yourself and spend quality time with each other...not necessarily spend every moment together...under those conditions, you may not be able to maintain your own true identity.  After all it should be your true identity that your partner should be drawn too...

Rule #4Four4

Absence makes the heart grow Fonder
There is something to be said about that, if you don't see each other for a while, that you miss each other.  This, in turn can help the two2-2two of you grow closer together


Nittany
P.S.  When a Team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, Excellence becomes a reality!

-Joe Paterno

The Night Reader

     With heavy crystalline eyes, under the witching light over an overcast skyline...meticulously analyzing each and every word...with an unparalleled intensity.  An inquisitive eye within an academic mind...a true literary Jewel...Welcome my Seventeenth17th Hundred Reader

Live the present and things will Fall into Place

Question:
What is the most frequently sited reason for an estrangement in a relationship?

Answer:

Anger

Interesting Fact

Anger has been documented to evolve most commonly in marriages with children.

Second is the work place with colleagues and supervisors (as a side note, people are injured by violent acts from someone they live with or work...

     Anger isn't the issue, as much as, maltreatment of those hostile emotions.  Many people, on a daily basis can experience angered emotions.  Certain individuals are capable of harnessing their senses and steering their emotions through these turbulent Torrid waves...charging through embittered convictions.  Where as the rest, take off...Crash...and then burn...ComBust themselves and everyone involved.  Conflict (Dispute) is inevitable, it exists because we are all unique (we all bring our own personalized perspective to each situation), therefore we ALL have a specified emotional trajectory path in life.  Much like the random molecules within our universe, arbitrarily colliding without purpose...but carry all the reason.  Unmanageable anger will deteriorate and/or End a relationship.

RoadRage,BarFights,SchoolViolence,DomesticAbuse...etc..

Individuals direct outwardly, inwardly, or find creative expression for their anger.  These avenues only increase aggression, causes disharmony, and escalate and threaten the integrity of relationships.
Just as a quick side...ignoring anger does not mean you are controlling it!
Calm yourself

Become constructive within this emotional state

     What does this mean?  Stop Over reacting in situations of provocation...This state transforms one into feeling victimized, out of control, powerless and unappreciated.  This is were your perspective dictates perception.  See and understand that you do control what you do, therefore have confidence and maturity in yourself.  Equality.  You Belong.  TrustTrustTrust yourself.  Take a deep breathe in and sense your inner peace.  Do you respect yourself?
Expressing Anger is your choice....anger is a learned response under times of provocation.  Find what provokes you and learn to cease it.  Understand to recognize and admit hostility in order to desist from that emotional implosion.  Calm.  Now the important step, understand the perspective of the other individual...then share what upsets you and purpose a defusing approach for the hostile situation.

Situation-->Provoking-->Consider options for Form of Expression-->Response

Recognize with calm.  Respect the individual(s) involved.  Have the intentions to strengthen the relationship....a conflicted ship can be righted, encouraging growth and becoming more intimate with the sea.

"Absolutely Breathtaking...

     ...an intoxicating nose of warm baking spices, deep plum and blackberry fruit, dusty unsweetened cocoa and a bit of earthiness.  The palate is just as tantalizing with flavors of dark plum, ripe berries, and chocolate that flow over the mouth in silky smoothe waves...stranded on an island, here's your companion..."

Tasting notes on the 2005 Cabernet Franc vintage from Alexander Valley, California


PS
This is how i prefer my women...Sweet and Spicy...tease my nose, my eyes, my palate and my soul.

Bound Together In Forgiveness

     Every relationship, no matter how successful and strong, will have a fair amount of conflict.  Bar none!  A relationship without conflict is similar to surfing without waves...just coasting along.  Just as an aside a conflict does not have to be this grandiose event, it could be subtle...real subtle...even unnoticed to some.  Its OK to fight with someone you love and care for, it comes with the territory when dealing with evolving entities...that is exactly what a relationship is.  An evolving Entity...almost amorphic in nature...yet potentially supple and firm in an unyielding spirit with a cohesive and resilient soul
     In times of dissension, there are certain strategies that will help you along and hopefully resolve the discord.  Start with your approach...be mindful and respectful of the other individual's emotions.  By showing aggression through disrespect, you are all but assure to fuel the hostility and elongating the confrontation.  Focus on the problem and avoid personalizing the situation.  Not everything is always about you (in the eyes of others...remember this fact).  Avoiding supplementing and compounding the argument by adding "other" points of irritation...stay on point.  If things get out of hand...take..A...B r e a k.  Meet back when tempers simmer down.  Exercise and activity is a sure way exorcise the anger demon.  When you reconvene, make a real effort to understand the other person's perspective...this means listening (even if you are deaf...make the effort).  We all want to feel as if someone's paying attention to our thoughts, concerns, and opinions...right?  Somebody?  Yes?  Anywhere, somewhere?  Germany?  Malaysia????  (i get that as a text sometimes ?)?  As clever as you might feel, you will never read somebody else's mind...even if you are Cris Angel (he's a Greek guy from Massapequa...as Jerry Seinfeld once said "that is Indian for the Mall").  All this name dropping today (helps my daily Hits).  Assuming you know someones thought process and emotional state is very dangerous and the current problem will erupt into a much larger issue (because your partner will feel as if you aren't paying attention...listening perhaps)...because minds can change, even mid argument...hello..here
I'm over here...
Actually seeing the argument from your partners perspective will put you in the best position to resolve the dilemma.  Corroborating with your partner on their emotions (not necessarily agreeing to them...but rather understanding their point) and acknowledging their standpoint...you create the possibility of getting your argument recognized and accepted...making it a willing situation for resolution (i love that word).  Now, work twogether...that means no one else gets involve...involving new people to an old argument may cause a new ImBaLanCe...re-igniting the conflict.  Together, alone...what sacrifices each of you will make to resolve this?  I'm Listening...come on say it.."I WILL..."  do what?  You get the point, now forgive each other, accept one another...it is very important to feel forgiven.

PS The Disagreement Belongs to Both of You

Quote of the Day

My LOVE for Corporations

Rivals that of Hemorrhoids

Preparation H anyone?

Welcome to Twenty2011Eleven

     According strictly to the calender in front of me, its a new year...but it still "feels" the same.  Not that i am one to wait for resolution (i actively seek resolutions), I've gone another day with committing an unsolicited good deed.  The focus that i would like to bring to your attention, isn't as a much an active commitment, but rather an inward reflection that would result in an outward reward.  Its our repeated theme of acceptance.  We live on a planet that is predicated with class segregation...whether its race, religion, or societal structure...this dominant force drives the world round.  I have always held pride in our race's (Homo sapiens) gift...ability to out think the rest of creation.  Yet, by examining history...we...all...Repeat our MISTAKES.  If i can wish one correction, that would be to eradicate prejudice...straight out from our genesDNA...strand by strand!
     That it!  Enough...Too much bickering...not enough charm.  Charm does exist...she's a 6six6 foot tall light haired goddess and her soul glows with charm.  Maybe I'm just a snake, and easy to charm.  Hear that harmonic signal of air rushing...that soft blow, echoing...soothing...taming...relaxing.  At ease.
     In 1912 a doctor in Germany made a discovery...the first of many of its kind...Dr. Hashimoto Hakaru discovered the world's First1st Auto Immune Disease.In this disease the body's immune system gradually destroys the thyroid gland (this gland is the motor for your metabolism).  Symptoms of this disease include weight gain, depression, mania, sensitivity to temperature, paresthesia, fatigue, panic attacks, increased or decreased Heart rate, high cholesterol, reactive hypoglycemia, constipation, migraines, muscle weakness, cramps, memory loss, infertility, hair loss...just to name some of the symptoms, basically you're guaranteed in having a bad day.  The woman that has charmed me has recovered from this disease...and there isn't a thing about her that i would change.


PS don't ever forget this one simple fact
You can Only change yourself