Flirting with danger
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2769486/Rachele-Brooke-Smith-criticised-yoga-pose-ledge-high-rise-building.html
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
Last Day on the Job
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. ‘All this was just too wonderful for words,’ he said, ‘But what's the dollar for?’
‘Well,’ she said, ‘Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea.’
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. ‘All this was just too wonderful for words,’ he said, ‘But what's the dollar for?’
‘Well,’ she said, ‘Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea.’
Over Zealous and Crazy
No, it's not who you think...but, that could be applicable too...I guess?!?
Anyhow, bootleggers and blackouts aside...reminiscent of dysfunctional friends (Animal House wannabes), crazy music and body shots of some hairy guy (it's dental flossing)....it's those playful mood enhancement moments that change our perception of wild times.
Running onto a football field
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lJn-CiOvWtI
Or a baseball field
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VqtPUhYdz6M
Anyhow, bootleggers and blackouts aside...reminiscent of dysfunctional friends (Animal House wannabes), crazy music and body shots of some hairy guy (it's dental flossing)....it's those playful mood enhancement moments that change our perception of wild times.
Running onto a football field
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lJn-CiOvWtI
Or a baseball field
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VqtPUhYdz6M
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Four Long Years, it's like a marriage
With a divorce, three separations and one custody battle....
Four years and counting (I'll never quit this as long as you're here)....I feel extra selectively social tonight on my anniversary. Somewhat antsy actually. But 'What' does it really mean, anyways? My only answer is (should always be) naught...right? My highlight tonight? Hopey came by...and wanted to stay and chill with me...in spite of his master's command.
I know exactly what you're thinking, what's a Hopey? Simple. A Lhasa Apso, that's Who! He acted as if You told him that he won the state lotto with how happy he was to see me. Ronny all but choked him out in order to get him (Hopey) up and out. Either way, he (Hopey) was happier than a pig in shit, hanging out by my feet! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
But...with all that said, the Mets still suck (sub five hundred, yet still in contention for second place...Wow, that's like trying to start a car...notice, I said 'trying'...yeah, the Mets are trying alright? Trying to fuck over their fan base!).
The Greek Festival is in Port Washington (a town named after the first president of The United States) tonight and tomorrow...I better get my game face on and head over there....but, if my true love fails me (as they so often do)...I will be having a humble serving of grumpy pie, grieving how could the Lions have gotten to be so vicious. It's a quarter after nine (technically, 9:18) and I can hear my brethren lighting their fireworks (as I sulk in the peace of darkness in my bedroom)...just waiting for just the right moment to click on the publish key...making this, us a committed deal.
I swear, by my powers invested in me...that this whole thing is a fabric of my innovative and creative imagination...and there is nothing that your investigation will prove otherwise.
Got it!
Good, keep it...and pipe it up as you toke it.
We have a strong, no return policy on this, that...and thus, on everything else.
Four years and counting (I'll never quit this as long as you're here)....I feel extra selectively social tonight on my anniversary. Somewhat antsy actually. But 'What' does it really mean, anyways? My only answer is (should always be) naught...right? My highlight tonight? Hopey came by...and wanted to stay and chill with me...in spite of his master's command.
I know exactly what you're thinking, what's a Hopey? Simple. A Lhasa Apso, that's Who! He acted as if You told him that he won the state lotto with how happy he was to see me. Ronny all but choked him out in order to get him (Hopey) up and out. Either way, he (Hopey) was happier than a pig in shit, hanging out by my feet! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
But...with all that said, the Mets still suck (sub five hundred, yet still in contention for second place...Wow, that's like trying to start a car...notice, I said 'trying'...yeah, the Mets are trying alright? Trying to fuck over their fan base!).
The Greek Festival is in Port Washington (a town named after the first president of The United States) tonight and tomorrow...I better get my game face on and head over there....but, if my true love fails me (as they so often do)...I will be having a humble serving of grumpy pie, grieving how could the Lions have gotten to be so vicious. It's a quarter after nine (technically, 9:18) and I can hear my brethren lighting their fireworks (as I sulk in the peace of darkness in my bedroom)...just waiting for just the right moment to click on the publish key...making this, us a committed deal.
I swear, by my powers invested in me...that this whole thing is a fabric of my innovative and creative imagination...and there is nothing that your investigation will prove otherwise.
Got it!
Good, keep it...and pipe it up as you toke it.
We have a strong, no return policy on this, that...and thus, on everything else.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Lesson Learned
(To men)
Please take time to ponder.
(To women)
Just enjoy the story.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What a woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this)
What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!
OKAY?
Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now, what is the moral to this
The moral is...
1. There is a 'witch' in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is.
2. If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.
So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember:
IT IS EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT IS "NO WAY"!!!
Please take time to ponder.
(To women)
Just enjoy the story.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What a woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this)
What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!
OKAY?
Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now, what is the moral to this
The moral is...
1. There is a 'witch' in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is.
2. If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.
So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember:
IT IS EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT IS "NO WAY"!!!
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