Number Twenty Two

Rule #22

In order to have respect in a relationship, you in turn must respect your partner.
How will you do this?
Understand the boundaries set forth that will help define your identity.  Relationships have a way of making us lose our identities...its hard to Earn respect when we lose sight of who we are.  There is a difference between infatuation versus Esteem.  Infatuation is fleeting and transient, Esteem has a standard.  Infatuation rhymes with satisfaction.  Esteem has concerns for and draped curiosities of.  Both come with passion...its just that one is more obsessive and the other has regard and accountability.  Infatuation has Rage.  Esteem has honor.  Both have fondness...with esteem comes a wondrous enthusiasm with unbiased affection and devotion.  Both will boast a fanciful appetite, yet only one relishes beyond adoration and holds acclamation.  Understand the difference since...
     Having your own identity means there will be a certain aptitude of privacy that stays unshared...remains unadulterated...is kept true to its heart.  By remaining true, your partner can have a better understanding and appreciation of Who you are.  At this point, be yourself and spend quality time with each other...not necessarily spend every moment together...under those conditions, you may not be able to maintain your own true identity.  After all it should be your true identity that your partner should be drawn too...

Rule #4Four4

Absence makes the heart grow Fonder
There is something to be said about that, if you don't see each other for a while, that you miss each other.  This, in turn can help the two2-2two of you grow closer together


Nittany
P.S.  When a Team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, Excellence becomes a reality!

-Joe Paterno

The Night Reader

     With heavy crystalline eyes, under the witching light over an overcast skyline...meticulously analyzing each and every word...with an unparalleled intensity.  An inquisitive eye within an academic mind...a true literary Jewel...Welcome my Seventeenth17th Hundred Reader

Live the present and things will Fall into Place

Question:
What is the most frequently sited reason for an estrangement in a relationship?

Answer:

Anger

Interesting Fact

Anger has been documented to evolve most commonly in marriages with children.

Second is the work place with colleagues and supervisors (as a side note, people are injured by violent acts from someone they live with or work...

     Anger isn't the issue, as much as, maltreatment of those hostile emotions.  Many people, on a daily basis can experience angered emotions.  Certain individuals are capable of harnessing their senses and steering their emotions through these turbulent Torrid waves...charging through embittered convictions.  Where as the rest, take off...Crash...and then burn...ComBust themselves and everyone involved.  Conflict (Dispute) is inevitable, it exists because we are all unique (we all bring our own personalized perspective to each situation), therefore we ALL have a specified emotional trajectory path in life.  Much like the random molecules within our universe, arbitrarily colliding without purpose...but carry all the reason.  Unmanageable anger will deteriorate and/or End a relationship.

RoadRage,BarFights,SchoolViolence,DomesticAbuse...etc..

Individuals direct outwardly, inwardly, or find creative expression for their anger.  These avenues only increase aggression, causes disharmony, and escalate and threaten the integrity of relationships.
Just as a quick side...ignoring anger does not mean you are controlling it!
Calm yourself

Become constructive within this emotional state

     What does this mean?  Stop Over reacting in situations of provocation...This state transforms one into feeling victimized, out of control, powerless and unappreciated.  This is were your perspective dictates perception.  See and understand that you do control what you do, therefore have confidence and maturity in yourself.  Equality.  You Belong.  TrustTrustTrust yourself.  Take a deep breathe in and sense your inner peace.  Do you respect yourself?
Expressing Anger is your choice....anger is a learned response under times of provocation.  Find what provokes you and learn to cease it.  Understand to recognize and admit hostility in order to desist from that emotional implosion.  Calm.  Now the important step, understand the perspective of the other individual...then share what upsets you and purpose a defusing approach for the hostile situation.

Situation-->Provoking-->Consider options for Form of Expression-->Response

Recognize with calm.  Respect the individual(s) involved.  Have the intentions to strengthen the relationship....a conflicted ship can be righted, encouraging growth and becoming more intimate with the sea.

"Absolutely Breathtaking...

     ...an intoxicating nose of warm baking spices, deep plum and blackberry fruit, dusty unsweetened cocoa and a bit of earthiness.  The palate is just as tantalizing with flavors of dark plum, ripe berries, and chocolate that flow over the mouth in silky smoothe waves...stranded on an island, here's your companion..."

Tasting notes on the 2005 Cabernet Franc vintage from Alexander Valley, California


PS
This is how i prefer my women...Sweet and Spicy...tease my nose, my eyes, my palate and my soul.

Bound Together In Forgiveness

     Every relationship, no matter how successful and strong, will have a fair amount of conflict.  Bar none!  A relationship without conflict is similar to surfing without waves...just coasting along.  Just as an aside a conflict does not have to be this grandiose event, it could be subtle...real subtle...even unnoticed to some.  Its OK to fight with someone you love and care for, it comes with the territory when dealing with evolving entities...that is exactly what a relationship is.  An evolving Entity...almost amorphic in nature...yet potentially supple and firm in an unyielding spirit with a cohesive and resilient soul
     In times of dissension, there are certain strategies that will help you along and hopefully resolve the discord.  Start with your approach...be mindful and respectful of the other individual's emotions.  By showing aggression through disrespect, you are all but assure to fuel the hostility and elongating the confrontation.  Focus on the problem and avoid personalizing the situation.  Not everything is always about you (in the eyes of others...remember this fact).  Avoiding supplementing and compounding the argument by adding "other" points of irritation...stay on point.  If things get out of hand...take..A...B r e a k.  Meet back when tempers simmer down.  Exercise and activity is a sure way exorcise the anger demon.  When you reconvene, make a real effort to understand the other person's perspective...this means listening (even if you are deaf...make the effort).  We all want to feel as if someone's paying attention to our thoughts, concerns, and opinions...right?  Somebody?  Yes?  Anywhere, somewhere?  Germany?  Malaysia????  (i get that as a text sometimes ?)?  As clever as you might feel, you will never read somebody else's mind...even if you are Cris Angel (he's a Greek guy from Massapequa...as Jerry Seinfeld once said "that is Indian for the Mall").  All this name dropping today (helps my daily Hits).  Assuming you know someones thought process and emotional state is very dangerous and the current problem will erupt into a much larger issue (because your partner will feel as if you aren't paying attention...listening perhaps)...because minds can change, even mid argument...hello..here
I'm over here...
Actually seeing the argument from your partners perspective will put you in the best position to resolve the dilemma.  Corroborating with your partner on their emotions (not necessarily agreeing to them...but rather understanding their point) and acknowledging their standpoint...you create the possibility of getting your argument recognized and accepted...making it a willing situation for resolution (i love that word).  Now, work twogether...that means no one else gets involve...involving new people to an old argument may cause a new ImBaLanCe...re-igniting the conflict.  Together, alone...what sacrifices each of you will make to resolve this?  I'm Listening...come on say it.."I WILL..."  do what?  You get the point, now forgive each other, accept one another...it is very important to feel forgiven.

PS The Disagreement Belongs to Both of You

Quote of the Day

My LOVE for Corporations

Rivals that of Hemorrhoids

Preparation H anyone?

Welcome to Twenty2011Eleven

     According strictly to the calender in front of me, its a new year...but it still "feels" the same.  Not that i am one to wait for resolution (i actively seek resolutions), I've gone another day with committing an unsolicited good deed.  The focus that i would like to bring to your attention, isn't as a much an active commitment, but rather an inward reflection that would result in an outward reward.  Its our repeated theme of acceptance.  We live on a planet that is predicated with class segregation...whether its race, religion, or societal structure...this dominant force drives the world round.  I have always held pride in our race's (Homo sapiens) gift...ability to out think the rest of creation.  Yet, by examining history...we...all...Repeat our MISTAKES.  If i can wish one correction, that would be to eradicate prejudice...straight out from our genesDNA...strand by strand!
     That it!  Enough...Too much bickering...not enough charm.  Charm does exist...she's a 6six6 foot tall light haired goddess and her soul glows with charm.  Maybe I'm just a snake, and easy to charm.  Hear that harmonic signal of air rushing...that soft blow, echoing...soothing...taming...relaxing.  At ease.
     In 1912 a doctor in Germany made a discovery...the first of many of its kind...Dr. Hashimoto Hakaru discovered the world's First1st Auto Immune Disease.In this disease the body's immune system gradually destroys the thyroid gland (this gland is the motor for your metabolism).  Symptoms of this disease include weight gain, depression, mania, sensitivity to temperature, paresthesia, fatigue, panic attacks, increased or decreased Heart rate, high cholesterol, reactive hypoglycemia, constipation, migraines, muscle weakness, cramps, memory loss, infertility, hair loss...just to name some of the symptoms, basically you're guaranteed in having a bad day.  The woman that has charmed me has recovered from this disease...and there isn't a thing about her that i would change.


PS don't ever forget this one simple fact
You can Only change yourself