To whom I choose to share this over-exaggerated sensationalize bizarreness is all the more comical...
Wednesday afternoon, I am feeling a bit ornery and very much ignored...my cell phone jingles. I have a Text Message from Kris Anne. It states that she has an out of town guest visiting, what vineyard recommendations do I have....?
Well my dear, there are approximately Forty45Five of them out East...hardly a Pick'Em type of situation. So..."I volunteer My service to personally guide and navigate through such interesting territory....Yes?"
(I haven't been a tour guide of sorts since that married European guy a year and a half ago was visiting my married Aunt...whom the two apparently were more then Just an acquaintance...I don't care, nor am I judging them...I was just his guide)
Me, the Chaperone...
I certainly like the ring of that.
No response...
Meaning
"No!"
or
"I'll think about it"
who knows maybe it was an non-responsive "Yes"...
Nonetheless, not even a cricket sound...
This morning, two days later..it hits me like a ton of bricks...
How To Make an Impression on an Out Of Towner 101
P.s. I will insist That we take photos everywhere we go!!!Kris....please, let me entertain your friend....? Pretty please? This is my plan
Our Itinerary.
Early Afternoon drive out to Plesser's Appliance store in Babylon and introduce the out of town lad to Nipper the Dog. Nipper is a town favorite who sits by the front door and greets all the customers. He is over Six Feet Tall and made from Fiberglass.
Snap
The Lad, Nipper and Me
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=cEcyPmJfd0tWbM:&imgrefurl=http://www.plessers.com/page-25.html&docid=5wqndLWN9gEC8M&imgurl=http://www.plessers.com/photos/editor/fck/image/nipper_1.jpg&w=1200&h=797&ei=rbcJUJDeJuiG6QGF5tiPCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=317&vpy=147&dur=6135&hovh=183&hovw=276&tx=109&ty=132&sig=109068363696895286903&page=1&tbnh=118&tbnw=170&start=0&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:79
Next...
East on Montauk Highway to Bayport...there we find The Sphinx (a Long Island Landmark since 1911). Engraved at the base
"She who climbs the Sphinx's head, A millionaire she will surely wed."
The signpost in front of the Sphinx read "Climbing is prohibited"
Such conflicting information...what shall I do?
Insist Lad climbs the Sphinx!
and
Snap
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=cMBjCUOUGJpJxM:&imgrefurl=http://www.examiner.com/article/bayport-blue-point-s-egyptian-treasure&docid=67uEp_6ZtmAm5M&imgurl=http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/large_lightbox/hash/44/f4/44f406ec5324d40387612740de4873b3.jpg&w=280&h=233&ei=_bcJUIiaBsSI6AGfsPTPCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=719&vpy=278&dur=1955&hovh=186&hovw=224&tx=132&ty=96&sig=109068363696895286903&page=1&tbnh=125&tbnw=153&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0,i:110
We stop for Hot Dogs at...The Giant Rooftop Hotdog...in Medford!
They serve delicious and nutritionally unsound quality Slunk Meat hot dogs! This Rooftop wiener is well longer then Six Feet L O N G...we have a winner!
Snap
Lad and I under the wiener
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=ATrwSp0opzfKbM:&imgrefurl=http://www.longislandpress.com/2010/08/06/eaters-digest-dog-days-of-summer/&docid=in62jzPaYuFsyM&imgurl=http://www.longislandpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/FirstNationalFranks02Web.jpg&w=500&h=335&ei=vbgJUImzKKrF6gGC2PCwCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=381&vpy=146&dur=1938&hovh=184&hovw=274&tx=140&ty=100&sig=109068363696895286903&page=1&tbnh=118&tbnw=157&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:82
Pppsssstttt....you think lad is enjoying his day with me so far?
We reach Center Moriches...home of Atlantic Seafood. The front door is encased by a Fifteen foot tall Shark Mouth (the frequently mistaken name of this Restaurant)...
Nonetheless,
Snap
Inside the Jaw
http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=BRgi52VtlWnW-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.merchantcircle.com/directory/NY-Moriches/cityphotos&docid=iRFSNkqNzUdd7M&itg=1&imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3526/3732571548_2ba2f16cd8.jpg&w=500&h=375&ei=CLkJUPz0O6nk6QGCw6GQCg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=594&sig=109068363696895286903&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=118&tbnw=157&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0,i:91&tx=55&ty=44
Continuing East to Flanders...Yes indeed, home to THE BIG DUCK!!!
This DUCK is on the List for National Register of Historic Places...Long Island's most notable Roadside attraction. It was built Eighty Years ago as a means to advertise the sale of Peking Ducks. It's so cool, that it's eyes are made from the headlights of a Ford Model-T!
Snap
Snap
Two photos here!!
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=EZiTcLlLW4phKM:&imgrefurl=http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-big-duck,-flanders-ny-image11587003&docid=p4SueIXeagnnKM&imgurl=http://www.dreamstime.com/big-duck-flanders-ny-thumb11587003.jpg&w=299&h=450&ei=RbkJUILOKKmU6wHSnZWrCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=252&vpy=195&dur=1627&hovh=276&hovw=183&tx=102&ty=137&sig=109068363696895286903&page=1&tbnh=129&tbnw=85&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0,i:120
Twenty minutes later...in Southhampton...we meet Mr Millennium.
He is a Twenty Foot Tall Snowman...with his arms rested on hs belly with these huge mittens!
Snap
Since we are probably in need of a break, Southhampton is home to the late Christan Woelffer Estate. Some of Long Island's finest wines.
Sip for sure, maybe a snap
http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=ky1MBzHU4CkP1M:&imgrefurl=http://nymag.com/weddings/planner/2008/summer/outwardbound/index3.html&docid=hQvKAxqkYPg0VM&imgurl=http://images.nymag.com/weddings/planner/2008/summer/9_wolfferestatevineyard_540.jpg&w=540&h=360&ei=5bwJUK7YIePp6wG89cyqCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=692&vpy=146&dur=1988&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=125&ty=83&sig=109068363696895286903&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=116&tbnw=146&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0,i:85
Off, back to the West...
Zoom, Zoom!!!
Westhampton...the Casa Basso Restaurant.
Two gigantic dueling Musketeers greet us at the parking lot entry way.
Snap
http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=ICK01rXlzlHuQM:&imgrefurl=http://www.panoramio.com/photo/66232113&docid=yos7P5wluWPV8M&itg=1&imgurl=http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/66232113.jpg&w=500&h=332&ei=27oJULH6JKa46gHI3vi2Cg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=610&vpy=273&dur=206&hovh=183&hovw=276&tx=151&ty=95&sig=109068363696895286903&page=1&tbnh=100&tbnw=150&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0,i:107
We reach Riverhead in no time...there we find the Riverhead Raceway (yes rednecks and hicks do exist on Long Island....as if you can dispute it with this list?!). There we are greeted by the Riverhead Raceway Muffler Man Indian...standing at well over 25 feet above us...saluting us with right right out.
Hail to the Chief!
Snap
http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=Vux2garPNiq9iM:&imgrefurl=http://li.thesquare.us/%3Fpage%3D8%26tp%3Dsite&docid=4-RFaNmaiin0PM&imgurl=http://li.thesquare.us/images/30_Picture%252520001.jpg&w=418&h=314&ei=DLsJUPmZFYTH6wH13amYCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=582&vpy=142&dur=68&hovh=195&hovw=259&tx=144&ty=100&sig=109068363696895286903&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=120&tbnw=153&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:82
Calverton...nestled inside the pen of a private farm is an enormous 20 foot long Bull, standing at well over ten feet tall.
Snap
Continuing West...
Miller Place...home to the Pirate House (personally my favorite Long Island attraction). There isn't a blade of grass visible on this man's lawn. Pirate figurines, sea monsters ad a six foot long sand castle decorate the entire front yard of this residential house. We stop here after dusk...since it lights up like an amusement park (you think his neighbors like him?).
Snap
http://www.google.com/imgres?num=10&um=1&hl=en&biw=1360&bih=584&tbm=isch&tbnid=UZEuMG0BlzeElM:&imgrefurl=http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Miller_Place_Pirate_House.jpg&docid=7p7VGTkxGq8ZGM&imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Miller_Place_Pirate_House.jpg&w=3264&h=2448&ei=ersJULaWNMnp6wHfzNX7CQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=275&vpy=142&dur=1630&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=157&ty=99&sig=109068363696895286903&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=120&tbnw=168&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:76
Finally, I get him back to Kris Anne....
But first we stop in the parking lot of Home Depot in Commack.
Right smack in the middle of this lot rests a small Cemetery, nicely decorated by fancy landscaping work...
Snap
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ravennaphotography/6905840466/
I drop him off to Kris.
When he goes back to his home town...what do you think he will share with his town folk?
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