For Bennett and Lauren and everybody else!

     Where does the positive inspiration come from?  Character decency and integrity are intrinsic qualities that can make any ship stay afloat in relation to the current and surf.  Etiquette and honor with a high-mindedness to the righteousness that connect that boat to the water...a certain healthy level of respect any sailor has for his ocean (and she can be one wicked mate).
these strong connections hinge on a friendship first approach...do you like their company?  Are they your best friend?  That is where the TRUE STAYING POWER lays.  That connection will strengthen with amicable qualities such as humor...if you can laugh with/at each other, that is a wonderful way to defuse hostile conflicts in aggressive settings.  Credible words and actions create a trusted bond and dependable infallibility.  (Back up your words!)  By following through with your initiatives.
We've spoken about communication...those who identify and then openly express their emotions develop an environment conducive for dealing with relationship challenges...hold it in, and your frustrations will sink your dreams.  Shared responsibility.  Does it not seem as if all these topics have been broached before?  Your responsibilities will range from chores to parenting (within an agreeable accord between the two of you of course!).  By dividing and conquering, you will ultimately lessen any chance of  experiencing/enduring episodes of ReSentMent.  Sometimes you may have to contribute when you do not want too, but the end result is a mutual contribution to the shared status of your relationship.
Physical, emotional, and intimate availability.  These are all big ones too.  Staying connected, sometimes without words can be the strongest evidence of your commitment and devotion.  To counterbalance your connection keep mutual, as well as, separate confidants and acquaintances!  Remember there is the Now...but there will also be a tomorrow...where will you be next decade?

The above traits are necessary to achieve a strong and healthy connection...there are some pitfalls as published by a Mr Gottman, he calls them his apocalyptic predictors:

criticism: to find fault with : point out the faults of ;to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly
contempt:  the act of despising : the state of mind of one who despises;lack of respect or reverence for something

defensiveness: devoted to resisting or preventing aggression or attack


stonewalling: to engage in obstructive parliamentary debate or delaying tactics;to be uncooperative, obstructive, or evasive

With everything discussed, pros and cons...were is your sail set for?

Generation ME

4Me x (More)Me + (Your)Sacrifice - (Not So Much My) Sacrifice

= 

(What I Want)
div%ided 

1

Sounds obnoxious and selfish...hard to fathom that there is so much greed within any given dynamic:

Actual

You + I = Us

Ideal

~50% + ~50% = (always adds up to)1 

Your reality may not be on equal terms, but if its a healthy situation and someone can contribute a little extra for the greater good without losing their identity, then its not necessarily a lost cause if the collective conscious of the relationship is vectored to a happy and honest medium.  In other words, work together...give when you have too, take if/when you must...but remember its a shared situation (give +/- take)

There are three formulas, but only two will apply to you...which 2 do? 

Don't Blame Me...I Won't Blame You

When you stumble and fall...              

          will your partner be there to

lift you

                                                Or

                                                          Blame you?

Its a thought for reflection...Most relationships, even in the deepest/darkest depths still have a resuscitating chance to be revitalized through a nurturing attitude and combined effort from both hands that feed ONE heart.  A heart that is conjoined through emotion and glue by faith...Yet sharp tongues and ill fated tears pierce through the very core devaluing its authenticity and shackling its partners into a void of sadness and complexity.

    Why do we blame?  It might be a projection of mismanaged frustrated feelings...and the only known way to release these pent-up emotions is by outwardly bursting and blaming the closest available candidate.  (As an aside, it was election day...did you vote?)  Becoming a smorgasbord of erupted verbal abuse of sorts.  Unreasonable accusations soon become the norm...How UnFair!

Step one, identify the real source of contention.  Step two, credibly evaluate the legitimacy of the concern.  Third, reasonably discuss the issue and peacefully (once and for all) resolve the problem...Simple, Yes?  Maybe?  From my eye, its always easier when the target is afarrrr...but when its my fire, i seem to get burnzzz on my hand.

Will this divide or will this unite?

Blame is not the disease but the symptom that will plague your relationship...

! # 1

Judgements

+

ASSumptions

=

?

Honey vs Vinegar

     Overcritical and Rejective...would you say that you know someone who is hypercritical and constantly faultfinding.  How desirable do you find their company?  On the flip side is it fair to subject somebody else to those biases?  A tendency to judge by unreasonably strict standards with a querulous and exacting temperament...so captious and censorious!
   The Golden Rule in life is.......treat as you wish to be treated...anything less and that creates a hypocrite.  Therefore why judge?  When you loathe imposed verdicts?  Why chastise when you fear your own reprimands?
    Verbal Discrimination of any sort is a major fault within the stability of a relationship...mercilessly discerning thoughts and conduct will undoubtedly lead to a disrupted connection of a harmonious equilibrium.

No Human being can tame the tongue.  It is a restless EVIL, full of deadly poison.  We can praise and curse with that very tongue...Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

-James 3:7

What if?  You would share glory, express all favorable accounts...resoundingly choose to celebrate acts, gestures, behaviors, and interactions with your chosen company.  An adored individual commends the highest of compliments...and this will help magnify that stability, that connection one strives to achieve.

Which do you choose?

Condemn or commend?

Written by Pam

Each one of us
              Has a crtoss to bare

                       Some choose to carry it

                                   Others drag it 

                                            Even crawl with it

                                                              Or will you

                                                                     Let it drag you?




Modified by Nancy
        further Modified by Patrick

On St. Hallo's Eve

     As boring as my Halloween costume may have been, i did achieve my subdued status within the confines of this paganistic ambiance in a vortex of an alcohol-induced debauchery of a festival.  People give themselves permission on this date to live their lives through the eyes of their alter ego...consequence free...in many ways i get to witness who these people truly wish to be.  Cloaked behind their heart's camouflage, disguised to trick and in many ways treat
KNOCK-KNOCK
For the next twenty24four or so hours, my branded marks remained instilled upon my body...my left wrist with its pink collar and the back of my right hand with a stamp...which remained invisible to the naked eye; only a black light can illuminate and reveal its presence.
     My Saturday night was a blur, and only after my mid morning nap did my maelstrom of a memory become exposed to the events of the previous evening.  I spent the next three hours triaging my stories of that fleeting twilight.  During those three hours, i cleaned and mulched half of my yard, allowing all those affairs to ooze out of every pore of my flesh, allowing them to flow up and out and into my heavens baring light upon all lost thoughts.
   Candy my was first Shepard on my journey...dressed as a geisha, she ushered my path through a crystalline cold maze of drizzle and immorality.  Unveiling a distorted burn that trickled down the throat.

geisha :a Japanese girl or woman who is trained to provide entertaining and lighthearted company especially for a man or a group of men 

 Candy was the queen of an ocean filled with nurses, doctors, dancers, butterflies, gypsies, fairies, lady gaga, barbies, Greek goddesses, cat woman, snooki, and even a snow white...each was here to tease and entice...flirt with their eyes and sway their hips...from side to side.  The music was blaring, the crowd was loud and boisterous...blistering with youth and energy (so much deviant energy).  Right up ringside for a squabble, Raggedy Anne kamikazed this borderline delirious scandalously dressed nurse.  Landing three hay-makers to her right cheek...Don rescued them both...No harm no foul?

That became my cue for my exodus, i went to go find my enchanting serenading siren.  My ungratifying search had less then a desirable outcome...she was hidden on a day where the inner self would unearth.  Her beautiful voice would not be heard.  I jumped off the boat and took refuge up the road...to an old hole in the ground.

OPEN SEsame
It's a narrow room, yet very long...i walk to back...visually introducing myself to all hooded festival cohorts.  One by one, i can see them all, but do they know that i can see through their facade?  I reach the back...i get greeted by Autumn, her beautiful face concealed by a suggestively sultry disguise.  Her eyes connect with mine, she smiles...its p a u s e d  Joe orders our round.  With beer in hand i can see the sleazy fellow at the end there, is making Autumn uneasy ( i keep on wanting to call her April)...maybe because everything dies in the fall...yet her charm and beauty electrifies the room.  A tall voluptuous blonde catches my eye.  I smile and here she comes...meet Erica.  I have never met her, but her sister Sandy is an old acquaintance.  She is deliciously blessed with clear skin and lucent blue eyes...a soft and delicate smile...shes a tigress tonight (and most likely every night).  Her tail swaying, i can almost swear that i can hear a playful purr in her voice...Autumn comes by and aggressively pets her.  Odd and seductive.  Joe and I leave, to go find Billy...he always invites us over on Saturdays.
A lot of the same, with different faces...but how could you tell.  NoNdescript.  And like that we're out.  We go and find Don.  Joe informs him that he wants to go Jazz it UP.  That's a no go for Don, one fight is enough for him tonight.  After a slice of pizza, i obliged Joe.  
     Its a long walk up these stairs, step by step, i can feel the ghosts that have made this walk...the walls spoke with despair and air stale with depravity.  i reach the top and receive my stamp.  We walk around this hoard of people dancing and drinking in conjunction with the music.  Joe's little Goddess...right there in front of us...seemingly along or is she being ignored?  Not by Joe.  If only Joe brought his club, he could whack her on the head and drag her back to his cave...no one would notice that the lonely pretty lady went missing (just my feeling).  That is the second time that i have seen, and the second time that she was alone.  A dark cloud blankets me.  I recognize this beauty.  Shes a Raven haired femme fatale three years removed from my past.  The temptress leans in with her shapely physique and whispers into my ear how she was just thinking about me.  I can feel her seductive soft smoooothe satin dress as i casually caress her hip.  Like any bird in flight, she flocks back to her crowded abyss.  It's time...Joe and I depart.  Its Oh Two Hundred, Joe stumbles out of my car...twenty minutes later I'm in my bed...too tired to think...my eyes closed and five hours later they awoke...
Where was I and what did i see?