There are no Rules to Dating...because each date is its own individual entity. When you take two people...two different and UNIQUE people...and mix them together, you will get a reaction. Each reaction is a result of a very unique combination between these two unique individuals. To plainly state that there is one specific generic formula to a successful date...think again.
Sure you can do certain fail safe deeds that ensures good impressions and great intentions.
But to say that if you do X, Y and Z you will earn Relationship Nirvana...it's just not that predictable. I am sorry...but it's not that simple. Why? Because we are not simple creatures.
Oh really? Yeah Really!
For Example: Sky diving might be a great date for someone like me...but nine out of ten women would absolutely not be as excited as I would be. Chances are, they'll run for the hills even if I suggest it.
So...am i wrong? Or...are they wrong? Well...we just might be wrong for each other.
Because of this...I just might shield my true being when I first meet a gorgeous woman...for fear that sky diving may not go over so well with her.
Finding the right counterpart is the hard part. Sometimes, when we first start dating someone...we don't share the right amount of our true selves....for a variety of reasons. It's during this gestation period that often sinks or saves the start of a potential relationship.
My Advice: know yourself, love your self....and be prepared to share the best of yourself.
Otherwise, the right match...just might miss the chance to make right on what has gone wrong.
Oh, yeah...second thought on second chances...?
Why not press those chances?
"Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most. Burning edges and scars and stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope."
~ Victoria Erickson
1. There will be (dare I say?) game playing. Get over it. You do it just as much as the women do it. There are many well-intended and ill-intended reasons for this, but for the most part we all need to recognize that we’re human and well, dumb, when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex.
2. We all have baggage. Get over it. When you find someone you care enough about, you deal with each other’s baggage. No need to hide yours, no need to condemn theirs or run from it. Just deal with it, dispose of it and move forward. If you can do that before you meet someone, all the better.
3. Love hurts. Get over it. As a matter of fact, if it does hurt a little, there’s probably some real potential there if you can work through it. The older we are, the more damaged and wounded we seem to be. Intimacy rubs your sore spots, but let it be the kind of rubbing that massages sore muscles. Work that shI t out, and figure out how to heal your wounds without inflicting too much pain on others.
4. There is no secret formula to figuring out the opposite sex. Have yourself figured out, understand yourself and be confident about who you are, baggage and wounds and all. Don’t expect someone to cut you slack and make exceptions for you. It’s just more bs and game playing. Handle your own business, and only date those that have theirs handled. Share your life instead of dumping it on someone. And here's the buried treasure. If you message me with an articulated and well thought out response to all of my rambling, I will respond in kind with witty banter and a normal picture of myself.
5. You can only love someone else at the capacity that you love yourself, respect yourself and value yourself. The same goes for them. If you aren’t feeling valued, respected and loved, then it’s probably more about their issues than yours. Don’t expect someone else to fill your voids, and don’t think you can love someone enough to fill theirs. It’s an individual, inside job.
6. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and to be vulnerable. Sure, you’re going to get hurt. But grow from it and be a better person for it. Don’t make the next person pay the last person’s tab. The more comfortable you are being yourself the easier it’s all going to go. The real you will emerge at some point, so why don’t we just start there?
7. There are lots of women out there that think sex is awesome. Get over your puritanical self-righteous self. Don’t shame them, belittle them or judge them because they “gave in” and had sex with you on the first date or too early by your own estimation, or didn't make you "work for it". Our lady parts have just as many nerve endings as your man parts, and you have just as many emotions attached to the act as we do...and we’re all adults with hormones and desires. Get sweaty, make some noise, laugh, enjoy it for what it is, buy her breakfast the next morning and call her the next afternoon. If you’re just out to get laid, say that from the get go, and give her the dignity of choosing what she wants to participate in. You might just be surprised.
8. We are all worthy of love, but we are all capable of it in different capacities. You don’t need to manipulate other people’s emotions to prove to yourself that you are deserving of love. It’s easier to bring someone down than it is to bring someone up, so try to spend your time with those that are right about where you are at. Learn from each other and be kind to each other; it’s not a competition, it’s a team effort.
9. There is no such thing as "The One". Three words...Get over it. If you still believe that then you believe in fairy tales and might as well be chasing unicorns to the end of the rainbow where your pot of gold awaits you. You make it the right relationship by investing in developing your character first, choosing a person of similar character, and working at making it the best relationship possible for both of you. Falling in love is easy (simple chemistry, really), staying in love takes effort. The more intentional and deliberate...the less effort required.
Article by Beesknees12
"I Tried Online Dating"
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