Explanations are Cheap like you...

If I have to explain everything for you, it would take forever.
It's the ones who think that they know everything that are a danger to themselves (as well as to everyone else!!!).
May mercy find us all.
But, if you need extra help in deciphering, decoding, analyzing or charting our data...

You will need a short list of tools and resources to begin our exploratory endeavor...
So, start with:
a compass, 
a ruler, 
a protractor, 
a thesaurus, 
a goniometer, 
a graphing calculator, 
A Ouija Board,
an abacus, 
a dictionary, 
a magnifying glass, 
a 3-D printer, 
the Guinness Book of World Records, 
the periodic table, 
a measuring cup, 
The Quadratic Formula,
a sommelier, 
a telescope, 
an encyclopedia, 
Alex Trebek and Chuck Norris 
Just to begin explaining the things we (I or You) hint about or reference...

Or, I can just tell you....
That ALL my nonsense runs only so deep before it buries me.

P.s.
Take my wife, please....