If

If I were to be a woman, I would be a lesbian.
If I were to be short, I'd probably be a lot less quiet.
If I had a wife, I'd would be broke...and possibly unhappy.
If I had kids with her, I just might be desperate for a do over.
If I lived in Florida, I would be slow and Tan.
If I liked music, it would probably be pop. (Definitely not Rap)
If I cared about opinions, I would act and look just like all the other dudes.
If I had a clock, I would almost always be rewinding it.
If I met a woman that I really liked, I probably wouldn't tell her...or anyone else.
If I had a religion, it would probably be Buddhism.
If I liked to Travel, I would go somewhere that was quiet and friendly.
If I had a dog, it would be a Burmese mountain dog.
If I knew that someone was scared, I would stand tall and hope that they would see and grow strong.
If I could be a criminal, I would want to be a safe cracker.
If I died tomorrow, the only regret I would have is that I never had the chance to tell you what I wanted too.
If I had a test to give, I would not give you any of the answers.
If I could, I would...
If my body could regenerate, I would feel a lot better.
If you could see the real me, I might still tease the old you.
If jokes never existed, then I would have never bothered. (You are too serious for your own good)
If life could be only Be one day, I would pick a Sunday during Spring.
If I knew that prejudice exists, I would hope that common sense would prevail.
If  I was forced to eat only one food...I would pick a salad with all the vegetables.
If I had one wish, it would be to make you happy. (Even at my expense)
If you read this, then I would hope that it made you think.
If I didn't work so much, I would be bored...and I might go insane.