What do Men and Women FIRST Notice on Each Other?

Last week, I wrote a list of the things I notice about men when I first see them. In the interest of fairness (and prurient curiosity?) I decided to give guys a chance to list what they notice when they first set their eyes on a woman.

So, I reached out to a bunch of men, and after promising to withhold both my personal judgement and their names, they divulged exactly — and I mean exactly — what does go through their mind when they see a girl for the first time.


1
A Cute Face
Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, the guys I talked to unanimously agreed that they notice a girl’s face before they notice her body. Eyes, smile, expression? “All. I couldn’t pick out one feature I look for more,” said one guy I talked to. “It’s a general feeling. And then if I spent more time with her, maybe I could say it’s really her eyes that caught me, etc.”

2
A Nice Body
The guys agreed that they instantly notice whether or not a woman is “demonstrably out of shape.” Beyond that, “I would notice breasts and/or ass before I notice triceps…although nice triceps are actually good…” one fellow said.

3
How She’s Dressed
“I look at their outfits, not in necessarily a sexy way, but to figure them out. How they put themselves together interests me,” one guy said. Another pointed out that how a girl is dressed can tell you a lot of things about her, from personal style to branding to wealth level. “I want someone who knows how to dress well for her style,” said one interviewee. “Not necessarily expensively, but that she has some kind of good aesthetic and it fits how she acts.”

4
Is She Loud?
Yeah, someone literally said this, and the other guys agreed. Apparently, guys notice if a woman is “overly aggressive in speech or mannerism for the setting.” (A nicer way of putting this perhaps would be to say they notice whether or not she has a sense of decorum or occasion? Talking loudly above everyone else annoys me when guys do it, too.)

5
Is She With More Girls or Guys?
Apparently, guys notice the gender ratio of who a woman is hanging out with right away. “If a girl has a ton of guy friends, it helps you know that if she’s being nice to you, it may not mean she’s into you,” said one guy I talked to.

6
Glasses (And Other Accessories)
Two guys I talked to said they instantly notices whether a woman has glasses. “My type is nerdy, kinda quiet, not intensely party-ish. Glasses can be a signal,” he said. Other guys said they notice accessories that give clues about her personality, like books or a helmet, etc.

7
Eye Contact
A lot of the guys I talked to brought up eye contact. “I don’t know, girls have a way of making eyes look sexy briefly but then back to normal again,” one told me. “Ability and desire to hold eye contact is a big signal.”

10 Things Women Notice About Men First

I just read this article on Men’s Health, “20 Things She Notices About You” — and while it was written by a woman, it certainly wasn’t something that I felt I agreed with (skin tone? no).
So, without trying to judge or censor myself too much, right off the top of my head, here are the 10 things I first notice about men.

1
If he’s hot.
This doesn’t discount all the less hot guys out there, but, let’s be honest, if a guy looks like a model, it’s the first thing I notice.

2
If he’s (possibly) gay.
Where I live, it seems like there’s about a one in four chance of a guy being gay. I try to suss it out as soon as possible, to save myself the awkward futile flirting.

3
How he’s dressed.
I don’t judge, I just notice, and honestly, yes, probably make assumptions based on what he’s wearing. (Example: A suit at 6:30 on a weeknight? He probably has a certain type of job. Skinny jeans? His taste in music is probably way cooler than mine, etc.)

4
Who he’s with.
Is he with a girl? Then interest immediately aborted: I’ll probably assume he’s taken. Is he with a group of friends? Fun, good to know he’s social. Is he alone? Ah-ha…

5
Does he have a tattoo?
Some girls love tattoos, some girls hate them; I’m mostly just curious to see if he has one.

6
Does he have an accent?
Bonus points. No matter where from.

7
Does he laugh easily?
A guy who laughs easily seems at east with himself, and charming. It’s appealing! Brooding is rarely as sexy in real life as it is on TV.

8
Does he have a girlfriend?
This is surprisingly far down on the list for such an important piece of information, but truthfully, it can be hard to determine whether a guy is taken or not! Making eye contact across the room is a good indication that maybe he isn’t, but until it comes up in conversation, you can never be too sure.

9
His arm muscle.
Totally not a pre-requisite for interest, of course, and not even something I notice from across the room. But up close, if a guy has defined arms…well, I mean. You notice.

10
His manners.
It sounds so futsy, but even the hottest guy at the bar can lose his appeal for lack of manners. Saying something rude to the bartender, saying something unwanted and crass to a girl, even belching can lose points with me. He doesn’t have to have the manners of a Regency clergyman, but some apparent knowledge of social mores is essential.


Article by Chiara Atik