I've spent the majority of 2011 dealing with family and persistently attempting to convince Kathryn to lend an understanding ear in my direction...all of it has come with a cost. Kathryn consistently tells me to "Fuck Off"...intermittently allowing her essence to calmly grace my presence...How sweet of her. She tells me that I'm too serious, not very funny, that I need better taste in clothes, take better care of my hair, plus that I should invest in pedicures and a better dentist. Anything else?
Oh, yeah...she has defined herself as a "bitch when she wants to be"...I have another descriptive term that I would use to more accurately describe what I observe through her words and actions.
Yet, she claims I'm the one with the crazy harassing tone?
Her words reverberate through my soul...a soul she denies has any substance or understanding...a soul that is unable to handle and understand her...
Yet I feel that i can be very successful in knowing (understanding) how to please and compromise her world...am i truly Unable too? My natural gift resides in understanding and empathizing what others feel. Perhaps she is the one unwilling to allow me to do so...
I can Tranquilly soothe her anxiousness, serenely lull that uncontrollable traffic that floods her mind...unclutter those instances of overwhelmed nervousness. I know who I am and I know what I am capable of. My mood is like atlas, I can suspend the world over my shoulder as I quietly view all commotion...from any direction...not quite a sissophian feat, but it certainly feels like one.
A lot of dots connected in my mind when I read an article by Amy Harmon, Journalist for the New York Times. Her article was published in the Monday, late edition Newspaper. The Title of the article is "Navigating Love and Autism" and the story is a detailed account of two college students with Asperger Syndrome attempting to navigate a relationship. I found many parallels between Jack Robinson and Kristen Lindsmith with Kathryn and myself. I understand the purpose behind her motions, the motive that motors her mind...and in turn the words she chooses to share with me...in all it's awkwardness, she does continually communicate with me even though her "advisers" recommend that she doesn't. Are these advisers truly after her own best interests? Or do they have an agenda of their own?
I offer absolutely no threat to Kathryn, only comfort. This is a case of Much Ado About Nothing. It truly is. She screams No, but looks to see what I am up too...seemingly uninterested in my whereabouts...yet curiously on my outskirts. She claims that she holds no resentment, yet her words only insult and Criticize...
Kathryn is very lucky, that I understand her inner workings...perhaps even better she does. The dust will eventually settle, yet will she be lucky enough to have me there then? If allowed too, this entire situation would turn on its head and expose a completely new face.
After all, I am not writing about Fluttershy or Twilight Sparkle here...or am I?
Omg!! Okay......in courtship there definitely is some chasing. I agree. A persistent man is one who knows what he wants. I agree that the man should be the agressor but the things this "katheryn" says to you are horrific!! A dentist, hair care, pedicures etc? Just a hypothesis, could be right, could be wrong: you think you are an island, positive, untouchable, no one will knock you down but guess what? Wye you open your heart I mean truly open your heart you have to become vulnerable. If you opened your heart to this girl she would tear you to shreds. She's mean, judgemental and sounds like she must have some vanity issues herself. No relationship will work when one partner is trying to fix another. That is what she is trying to do. I don't care how much you think you know her a relationship works with people who respect each other, accept each other with their flaws and assets and are willing to work through the lows because let me tell you... There are lows!,, that's all for now. Move on is my advice.
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