"Always Drive Safe"-

by Fire Marshall Bill

(your favorite and Mine) 

    Sprang from sleep with fifteen15 minutes to spare...slightly hazed somewhat similar to a Los Angeles summer sky...my phone (on vibrate of course) quietly shivers its method on a low hummmm...lucky for me i am awake and i can see it
Its Angie checking up on me, i assure her that I am on my way.  Off i go, leaving a confused CC at home (he never likes it when i leave him alone)
My ride in (16 minutes removed from REM) was nondescript...the bright sun only compounds my aching head...I Need Water

*just as an aside, your body needs on average 50%percent as in fitty50% of your weight (in ounces) per day...certain days require more, such as dehydrated states

I slowly come to the realization, that i flowed my way through se7en hours last night (unplanned hours) of socializing (i might be conforming into a socialist?).  What happened?, What did i do?, Who did i see?,  Uh huh.  On a day (11-20-10) that i spent si6x hours listening to lectures and watching horrific traffic movies, i violated just about every possible traffic law (count them 34ish) in creation on my way home early this morning...i should be permanently disbarred from ever driving my car, or any car ever again...seriously!  No wonder my car insurance is nine9000thousand $dollars$a-year
memories are like buried treasure...coming in waves...i need to pull out my metal detector...reason my way to some common sense (maybe even justify my shenanigans)
its twelve12noon at this very moment, i really need to work off my hangover...be back later...hopefully if the police don't drag me away before then
I told you that i would be Back...fourteen hours (14:00:00) later!!! No jail time...phew.
My memory of the weekend has come back in segments...and yes it has taken me, longer then a day to overcome my hangover (i never get those...curse those beers and the deviant temptress impersonating bartenders).  Maybe its not an act?

 Stupidity will breed more stupidity...and so on    continually feeding

Just Another

Silly

Stupid

Saturday

     The night began at some "ranch", it was my idea, Joe and Don obliged me.  Don didn't like Doug...as a matter of fact he gave him a new (yet old, i am sure) name, four letters long, starts with D (just like Doug, only different), one vowel, ends with a K.  Elizabeth, our waitress agreed...she is sweet and personable, even a little shy (can you be both?  Personable and Shy?)...but she was...and she had a nice large smile.  Her red hair concealed by a cowboy hat...cute for a woman, tacky for a fella.  She is slightly out of shape, but i can forgive her (its her freckles).  Eighty80Minutes later, our ship crashes, and our siren finds us.  Angelic.  Her soft Voice Mutes My Heart...I'm not the only one...she has many suitors...shes too young to realize that.  Her primary aggressor, acknowledges me twice.  He's smart and respectful in doing so...i give him a pass.  We walk up to the Old Port Pub.  Sleazy, Filthy, Flirty, Disgusting.  I Find Her, April/Autumn...smoking a cigarette.  Nothing is as unattractive as a woman and a cigarette...makes her smell bad and taste worse.  I let her know that i disapprove, i take it from her...i know that i crossed a line...but i was still bothered with her flagrant tactics from the costume day (nothing sexy about classless).  Richie apologizes on my behalf, i tell him he shouldn't have bothered...its because he knows that he'll see her again... i may never...i feel disgusted and morally violated (Why?  I didn't do anything wrong?  Right?).  Back to the Siren, shes gone, the boat is closed and grounded...Any takers for Tommy's?  What the heck.  Not as visually dark...only my mind with its shades of gray.  Young drunk people completely engulf the floor.  Joe gets emotionally stonewalled...out from nowhere...he wants pizza (i guess he got hungry).  We stumble next door only to find the same young crowd...the young ones, as cute as they may be...still lack that earthly wisdom that age will bring.  Pity.  They will not get a Pass on that. Joe treats me to 2two2 slices (a regular and a buffalo chicken).  I eat them at home sometime after fo4ur...when i got home, alone.  I like my personal space, just about most of the time.
I close my eyes...and like that i sprang back up...